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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27481843">A Merry Gallivanting We Shall Go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BegoniaRex/pseuds/BegoniaRex'>BegoniaRex</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tiger Cubs [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Midnight Poppy Land (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Family, Fluff, Renaissance Faires</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:01:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>54,188</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27481843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BegoniaRex/pseuds/BegoniaRex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Three weeks after their joint birthday party, Quincey whisks Tora and Poppy off for a weekend away and a trip to the Renaissance Festival. What surprises are in store for them along the way?<br/>This is a direct prequel to A Lily For Tora.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tora/Poppy Wilkes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tiger Cubs [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Quincess Conspires</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbutterandchelly/gifts">peanutbutterandchelly</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Galivant: 1. To roam about in search of pleasure or amusement. 2. To play around amorously; flirt. 3. To spend time with the opposite sex.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Costumes are chosen, Quincey plots, and a heartfelt confession is made.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A little lighter fare set before A Lily For Tora takes place. While I love that story and will definitely finish it, I need to give myself a little brain break every now and then. Thought it'd be fun to do a short story set earlier in that timeline.<br/>Peanutbutterandchelly encouraged me to write my own take on Tora and Poppy going to the Ren Fest in conjunction with the Stages one shot she's doing on the same idea. It was super fun to work on the same idea together and bounce ideas off each other.<br/>I am quickly learning I am very bad at sticking to one shots, and this will now be several chapters long lol.<br/>Also a little shoutout to FawkesFire13 in here too.<br/>Thank you to both Fawkes and PB&amp;C for beta reading most of this for me. I appreciate all the feedback and ideas.<br/>Make sure to go read PB&amp;C's Ren Fest story too: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27120388/chapters/67218844</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Quincey, what the hell is this?” Tora growled from inside the changing room.</p><p>“Your fierce and badass warrior costume,” Quincey said brightly.</p><p>“Where’s the rest of it?”</p><p>“That <em> is </em> the full outfit,” Quincey said. He didn’t even need to see Tora to know the man was scowling.</p><p>“Yeah, fuck no am I walking around in this anywhere,” Tora said after a long pause.</p><p>“But it--”</p><p>“No," Tora said flatly, his tone brooking no further argument on the matter. "Don't bother trying to pull your bullshit on me, Princess. Even I know this isn't even close to historically accurate.”</p><p>“You’re no fun, Honey,” Quincey sighed loudly. When there was no further response from the changing room besides a continued irritated silence, he threw up his hands and huffed, “Fiiiine, I’ll see if they have a more ‘historically accurate’ costume available in your size, but at least let Poppy see it before you make up your mind, hmm? I think my indomitable little editor would be happy to offer feedback on the….appropriateness of your outfit for our upcoming excursion, seeing as how she’s the most experienced person in our party,” Quincey said, biting back a sly grin as he threw a wink over at the woman in question. </p><p>“Quinceton -” Tora started to say, a dangerously annoyed edge to his voice. Quincey wanted to cackle at the slight hint of embarrassment he immediately picked up on in the normally insouciant man’s voice. </p><p>“Oh come on, Tora, let me see! It can’t be <em> that </em> bad,” Poppy called out from the cushy sitting area a few feet away, interrupting whatever threat he’d been about to make. “I doubt it’s any worse than the person I saw once who looked like they crawled inside an inner tube and let it explode around them. Besides, even if it <em> is </em>terrible, we’re the only ones here anyways.”</p><p>“Here” was Fawkes Tail, a high-end, by appointment only costume rental shop that Quincey had utilized multiple times over the years for positively smashing Halloween and masquerade party outfits. Today, they were there to pick out costumes for an entirely new experience - for the two men anyways - and Quincey was utterly delighted to have two more people to dress up, insisting their group needed to coordinate for maximum effect. And honestly, who better to coordinate all their outfits than the one with the keenest eye for fashion?</p><p>Since Tora was the hardest to fit due to his large size, he was going first, and then Quincey would make sure his and Poppy’s outfits complimented whatever worked out for the tall, broad shouldered, grumpy man. It was a thankless task trying to get the big lout to do anything fun, but someone had to do it. The things he did for that ungrateful man. It was like trying to convince a toddler he needed to put on pants - if the toddler outweighed him by a good 40lbs of solid muscle and could crush his face with one hand if he so felt the urge. </p><p>Thankfully, Poppy’s sweet, doe-eyed presence had a wonderfully pacifying effect on the dark, moody man’s usually short wick with his well meaning younger brother’s completely gentle and not in any way annoying prodding. His adorable little editor just had to bat those large, expressive eyes of hers at Tora, smile sweetly, and the man would just….cave to whatever she asked of him. Quincey honestly thought his eyes had stopped working the first time he saw it happen. This tiny slip of a woman had tamed the great Tiger of Ares Street with nothing more than a bashful smile and a cute face that blushed at the drop of a hat. Okay, and those absolutely gorgeous curves of hers probably helped a bit too. </p><p>As the resident expert on blossoming romance, Quincey had made sure they were the <em> only </em>clients being served for the length of their appointment that afternoon. He wanted to minimize any distractions from his continued attempt at getting the two hesitant but clearly smitten dorks in front of him to progress their relationship beyond flirty bantering and occasional hand holding. Without his active intervention, he worried Tora in particular would never actually do anything about their glaringly obvious mutual attraction besides not so furtively eye fucking the cute little brunette and trying to get a rise out of her with his constant innuendo and teasing. </p><p>They just needed more uninterrupted time together, the spark and chemistry was definitely already there. That was obvious to literally everyone but Tora and Poppy apparently. Quincey was happy to provide a little nudge to get things moving along in the right direction. </p><p>Okay, so maybe in Tora’s case, a very hard kick in the ass was required, but Quincey was more than willing to rise to the challenge. He’d never seen the taciturn, tight-lipped man so utterly and completely smitten. Tora was absolutely ass over teakettle for Poppy. It was adorable to see his normally calm, cool and collected bodyguard so flustered and thrown off his game by this five foot nothing feisty brunette that already had him eating out of her hand. </p><p>Quincey had caught Tora more than once in the last month actually smiling, like, a genuine, completely natural expression and not the creepy one he pulled out to scare people into submission. Any woman who managed to bring the normally reticent, incredibly guarded man out of his shell like that was a priceless treasure that Quincey was determined to not just let slip away from his idiotic older brother. He’d set up that whole evening at Fallen Angels just for them to connect more, and yet, they still didn’t seem to have made any further moves since then. </p><p>Gah, he knew life in the mafia made any kind of romantic relationship a little complicated...okay, so <em> a lot </em> more complicated, but honestly, it seemed like Tora was determined to just watch that sweet little thing go on her merry way without so much as saying a single word about his interest in her. It’d been just over two weeks since their joint party, and Quincey didn’t think the pair had hung out one-on-one even once during that time. He knew Tora and Poppy both tended to get caught up with their respective jobs (his brother obviously didn’t have much of a choice in that matter, and she seemed determined to drive herself into the ground working overtime). So he was bound and determined to find a way to get them together off the clock for an extended amount of time, preferably far removed from any work or clan distractions.  </p><p>Thankfully, a recent offhand comment from his intrepid editor had been just the opening he’d been waiting for. Poppy mentioned taking a couple days off to attend an upcoming Renaissance Festival several hours away from Narin City. Quincey instantly saw it as the <em> perfect </em> opportunity to play cupid for the two twitterpated lovebirds who were apparently in deep denial about their feelings for each other. </p><p>He’d immediately pounced at the chance to get them all out of town for a few days, telling Tora he wanted to tag along with his cute little editor to do some research for an upcoming story. Which meant that his trusty bodyguard would have to come along as well for the extended weekend trip. </p><p>They’d be going in the best costumes Quincey could procure to get the full experience, of course. And it just wouldn’t do to have one of their party in street clothes; he’d pointed out how it would spoil the vibe of their whole outing if his grouchy older brother went to the festival in his usual boring ensemble of a hoodie and jeans. </p><p>When Tora had protested, as Quincey well knew he would, at the prospect of wearing some “floofy ass puffy shirt,” Poppy’d only had to look pleadingly at him with those big brown eyes of hers, and the normally immovable man had quickly caved in short order. She’d pointed out matter of factly that there were plenty of other options besides the type of get-ups found on the covers of Q.B. Noyouko’s books. </p><p>Tora had finally huffed and muttered that he’d go in costume, but he wasn’t wearing any “fucking Prince Charming prancey bullshit.” His nonnegotiable conditions were that since he was being “forced” to wear something besides his normal choice of clothes, he would be outfitted as some kind of warrior with absolutely no tights or puffed sleeves, and that it was solely Quincey’s responsibility to find him something suitably badass.</p><p>Focusing back on the task at hand, Quincey wrinkled his nose in response to the tiny woman sitting in front of him now. "That...is a very unfortunate mental picture you just painted there, Pops," he said with a slightly pained expression on his face at the thought of anyone walking around in nothing but a shredded inner tube. "And that's saying something, since I've seen some downright weird shit before. Did I ever tell you about the time Tora and I--"</p><p>Poppy giggled as Tora growled a wordless warning that immediately and unfairly shut down the retelling of a perfectly appropriate and in no way embarrassing to his older brother anecdote Quincey had been about to launch into. She reached over for one of the glasses of champagne they’d been served a few minutes prior, and made the mistake of taking a big sip before looking back towards the fitting room. </p><p>The door was now pushed open with Tora’s broad frame practically filling the doorway, his arms crossed as he scowled at Quincey. The dark haired man <em> was </em>dressed in a warrior’s outfit….just not one that Poppy was prepared to see.</p><p>She seemed to involuntarily suck in a sharp breath as she took in the sight of what Tora was wearing - well, more like what he <em> wasn’t </em>wearing, in this case. She immediately broke into a long coughing fit as the champagne went down her windpipe. Quincey couldn’t stop a satisfied smirk at the red flushes that flared on both her and Tora’s cheeks as Poppy continued to sputter from more than just the bubbles caught in her throat.  </p><p>Tora was currently dressed in sandals that went up the front of his shins and strapped around his well defined calves, a leather skirt overlaid with strips of darker leather edged with metal studs that fell to just above his knees, his right arm was clad in metal armor from his shoulder down to his hand with a leather strap straining across his broad chest holding it in place...and that was it. There <em> may </em>have been a top part to the ensemble that Quincey had purposefully left out. Possibly. </p><p>“Come, come, Tora, step out and give us a twirl so we can get the full effect,” Quincey said cheerfully, twirling his finger while Poppy struggled to breathe properly. He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively in response to the dark look his brooding brother shot him.</p><p>Tora rolled his eyes, silently took two steps out of the fitting room, and stomped in a circle with his hands on his hips. </p><p>If Poppy hadn’t been there, Quincey knew Tora wouldn’t have even bothered opening the dressing room door. The head slap he was going to receive later would be worth it, just for this moment alone. </p><p>As she fought to regain her breath, Poppy shot a suspicious look over at Quincey as he casually sipped on his own champagne and tried very hard to maintain a doe-eyed innocent expression on his face. </p><p>He’d known the reserved, private man would never wear such a revealing get-up in public - Tora already got enough unwanted attention from women as it was when he was in basic jeans and a simple t-shirt. Quincey had only requested the costume for just <em> one </em>woman to see the incredibly attractive man so scantily clad….and okay, yes, maybe it was also to fuck with Tora just a little bit. Quincey had to maintain his status as conniving little brother after all. And if he could knock out two birds with one stone, all the better.</p><p>The dark haired, olive skinned man’s extensive tattoos and exceptional musculature were currently on prominent display, and Quincey wondered if Poppy was thinking about how high that leg tattoo of Tora’s went. He very much hoped so. That had partially been his intent when he’d requested this particular outfit. </p><p>She cleared her throat and finally got out, “Well, I guess <em> technically </em>it’s historically accurate *cough* for a Roman gladiator. Not so much *cough cough* for the Renaissance.” Her face flushed a little deeper as she said, “I think Tora might get a bit sunburned though with so much skin...exposed. We are planning on being there all day after all, and there’s not a lot of shade on the festival grounds.”</p><p>“Though it <em> is </em> a warrior outfit and doesn’t have tights or puffed sleeves, per your request,” Quincey pointed out to Tora with a perfectly straight face. </p><p>Tora just rolled his eyes again and shot the younger man the most pissed off side-eye death glare Quincey had managed to rile out of him in years. It was utterly delightful to get this much of a rise out of the normally stoic, unflappable man.</p><p>Tora was very much not looking at Poppy, who was still clearing her throat and doing a poor job of keeping her eyes off him. Quincey could tell every time she snuck a look, because her ears and neck would flare red again. And of course Tora noticed, the pink tinge on the tips of his ears a dead giveaway how much the woman was affecting him. </p><p>Quincey batted his eyelashes demurely as he continued to sip on his drink, enjoying how flustered both his friends were right now. After letting the hapless dorks squirm for a few more moments, he finally took pity on them both.</p><p>“But you’re right, Pops. How thoughtless of me,” he tsked. “Of course I wouldn’t want Tora’s...delicate complexion to be so...exposed to the sun.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s the fuckin’ <em> sun </em>I’m worried about bothering me in this damn get-up,” Tora muttered under his breath as he stomped back into the fitting room and snapped the door closed behind him. “Enough of ya bullshit games, Quinceton,” he said loud enough for Poppy to hear. “Get something that doesn’t leave me half naked, or I’m going home and you’ll just have to deal with me wearing my 'boring ass clothes' to this goddamn thing.”</p><p>“You see what I have to put up with, Poppy?” Quincey said, gesturing dramatically to the fitting room door. “So demanding. And people say <em> I’m </em> the diva,” he huffed, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling as he put a hand over his heart.</p><p>Poppy giggled, her cheeks still dusted with a lingering red flush. “Oh, have some pity for our poor, beleaguered friend, Quincey,” she said, biting back a smile as her eyes danced with mischief. “He’s being <em> forced </em> to dress up and come along with us to the- what did you call it, Tora? ‘The giant gathering of the nerds’?”</p><p>Tora’s grumpy voice floated out to them, “What I said, Poppylan, was ‘a giant fuckin’ nerd fest out in the goddamn middle of ass backwards nowhere,’ because that’s exactly what it is." They heard the metal armor drop to the floor with a clunk as he continued grumbling, "I don’t know how I got roped into this bullshit with ya weird ass nerds.”</p><p>Poppy and Quincey shared an amused look. “See, Quincey? It’s just so terrible what we’re putting him through,” she said puckishly, taking another sip of her champagne as she lost the battle to keep the grin off her face. “He has to completely leave the city, for <em> three full days, </em> mind you. His only company the entire time is just going to be you and me. And we’re dragging him out to the middle of the countryside, where it’ll be hard for anyone back here to reach him due to the spotty cell service. And he has to spend a whole day walking around in a costume, and perhaps, maybe, just <em> maybe </em>having a tiny bit of fun while he’s at it.”</p><p>“Sounds absolutely dreadful,” Quincey said dryly, tipping back his drink as he matched her devious grin with his own. "We torture him so terribly with our desire to go out and have fun."</p><p>“Jesus, are ya two just about done ragging on me yet?” Tora grumbled. His tone however was far less annoyed than it had been a minute ago. Quincey could detect just the hint of a smile in his brother’s voice, so he knew Poppy had won the smitten man over yet again.</p><p>Quincey winked at the woman who’d so easily captured his brother’s affections and walked over to her to grab another drink. He leaned in and whispered in her ear, “Don’t let the grumpy tiger act fool you, I know he’s looking forward to this. Particularly the part about getting away to spend more time with <em> you. </em>”</p><p>She startled and blushed, her wide-eyed gaze shooting from Quincey to the fitting room door and then back once she realized where she was looking.</p><p>Quincey grinned and patted her shoulder before he stood back up and announced loud enough for Tora to hear, “I think I’ll go ask about what other ‘historically accurate’ costumes they have available for our tall, heavily muscled friend over there.” </p><p>He started to walk away from the seating area, then looked over his shoulder at his editor with a smirk. “Though I do hope you enjoyed the view, Pops. I picked that one out specifically with you in mind,” Quincey purred.</p><p>Poppy immediately flushed bright red and squeaked. <em> Squeaked. </em> Tora was right, she was a cute little hamster. </p><p>A second later, she recovered enough to indignantly exclaim, “Quincey!” at the exact same moment that Tora did. </p><p>As he sauntered away with a shit eating grin on his face, Quincey was amused to note that they’d said his name with matching tones of annoyance and embarrassment. Poppy would just have to get used to it; she was going to be his sister-in-law someday after all, he was positively sure of it.</p><p>------------------------</p><p>Phillipe, Quincey’s favorite employee at Fawkes Tail, ran a hand through his stylishly tousled dark hair as he apologetically said, “If we had a little more turnaround time, Young Master Quincey, we’d be more than happy to do a special order and tailor an outfit to fit for your...friend. But since you need these costumes in just under a week, we can only offer what’s currently available off the rack. I can check our back room again, but I don’t think we have very many Renaissance era options that will fit him. That’s just not a very common request for us, so we don’t keep that many large bulky outfits like that on hand here at the shop.”</p><p>“I mean, it doesn’t have to be that exact time period,” Quincey clarified, waving his hand. “Lord knows I’ve heard plenty about off the wall costumes at ren faires. Did you know there was a group that went as Star Trek time travelers last year?”</p><p>The young man chuckled, “Yeah, I think there’s at least one person every weekend who does something like that. One of my friends went to one of those as a robot once. The quirkiness factor is just part of the fun.”</p><p>“Yes, exactly. So don’t worry if the outfit isn’t perfectly historically accurate. The man just wants to go as a cool, badass warrior of some kind. As long as it looks cool and is comfortable to wear all day, I know he really doesn’t care all that much what time period it’s from,” Quincey said. A thought suddenly struck that had him asking, “Say...you wouldn’t happen to have anything from northern Narin would you? Any costumes based on old period armor or ceremonial outfits from that region?”</p><p>Phillipe tapped his chin thoughtfully for a moment. “Now that I think of it...there might be something….hmmm, let me see,” the man muttered more to himself than Quincey as he typed away on the computer, searching through their inventory. After a few moments, he hummed happily as he found what he was looking for in the system. </p><p>“Let me go double check, but I think we may have just the thing. It’s not something that’s been rented out for a while, so I just need to confirm the condition and sizing first, and then I’ll bring it out to you in the fitting area,” he said to Quincey, directing him to go sit with Poppy again. </p><p>Phillipe scurried off to the back room as another employee brought out a second round of drinks and a tray of light hors d'oeuvres to tide them over while they waited.</p><p>------------------------</p><p>Just over ten minutes later, Tora stepped out in an ensemble that pulled a gasp out of both Poppy and Quincey. Phillipe stood to the side with a satisfied smile as he took in their excited reactions. </p><p>“Oh my god, Honey, you look positively regal!” Quincey squealed delightedly.<em> “Excellent </em> choice as usual, Phillipe. I don’t know how you always find just the perfect thing.”</p><p>Quincey glanced over at Poppy out of the corner of his eye, very pleased to see her mouth hanging open just a bit at the impressive sight in front of her. </p><p>“It’s a replica of a set of royal armor that’s in the Narin National History Museum archives,” Phillipe said proudly. “They’re not sure exactly when that armor was originally made, but they think it might be from the same time period as King Asura I, the ruler who first united Narin into one country.”</p><p>Tora was clad in a dark brown almost black set of lightweight leather armor. His loose woven pants were tucked into a pair of practical looking, dark brown boots that ended just below his knees, with leather panels draping over his thighs and another set going down the back. A long sleeve shirt the same material as the pants was covered in a few leather panels on the upper arms and a set of leather bracers were strapped around his forearms. A leather chestplate wrapped around his entire torso with panels going down to his hips, a thick sash holding it in place around his waist. A ruff of fur ran around the back of the neck and shoulders of the armor. </p><p>Phillipe pointed out the chest plate and bracers had silver metal emblems on them that were embossed with the crest of the old royal family of Narin. </p><p>Quincey had to admit, Tora really did look magnificent, cutting quite the impressive figure as he stood in front of them. The outfit fit like a glove, as if it had been made with him specifically in mind. </p><p>Tora tugged a little self consciously at one of the bracers. “I don’t know, Quince, kinda feels like it might be <em> too </em>intimidating. Don’t really want to freak anyone out, especially any kids,” he muttered. </p><p>“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that! The scarier the better actually,” Poppy said, her eyes shining as she looked Tora over appreciatively.</p><p>Quincey and Tora both glanced over at her in confusion.</p><p>She giggled at their perplexed faces. “At the Ren Fest, the more intimidating and badass someone looks, the more people want to get pictures with them,” she told them. “Trust me, all the guys dressed like warriors and barbarians are always super popular, and no one gets freaked out at all by them. There’s this guy everyone calls Uncle Scourge - he has a full face of war paint, wears a horned animal skull and carries around a giant battle axe. All the kids absolutely love him and are constantly asking for photos with him. So you won’t be even close to the scariest looking person there, I can guarantee you that.”</p><p>Tora arched an eyebrow at her. “First of all, I’m shocked ya actually uttered the word ‘badass.’ And secondly, what the hell kinda place is this, Poppy?” he said in bemusement. “Fuckin’ animal skulls? Goddamn war paint? Thought ya said this was family friendly shit.”</p><p>Poppy laughed. “It is! It’s just its own special world,” she said happily, her eyes going a little dreamy as she was obviously thinking back to her previous times attending. “Yeah, it can be a little weird at first. But it’s super fun, and I think you guys will really like it….well, I hope so anyways...but I don’t want to make you go if you really don’t want to be there,” she said, trailing off a little dejectedly as she took in both their expressions, and then dropped her eyes down towards the floor, twisting her hands together in her lap.</p><p>Quincey glared at Tora, giving the dark haired man a silent look that very emphatically communicated <em> “What the hell are you doing?! Don’t you dare fuck this up!" as</em> he gestured with his head towards Poppy.</p><p>“I’m sure it’s going to be an absolute blast!” Quincey said cheerily, throwing an arm around the tiny woman and squeezing her tightly. “I’m really looking forward to it, and Tora is too. Aren’t you, <em> Honey? </em>” he asked, putting just enough of a bite in his voice for only Tora to pick up on, narrowing his eyes threateningly at the armor clad man.</p><p>Tora put his hands up placatingly. “Look, I have no fuckin’ clue what the hell this thing is, Poppylan. Not gonna lie, it sounds weird as hell. But it’s not like I haven’t done plenty of weirdass shit before, so I’m down to go if it makes ya this damn happy and excited." He rubbed the back of his neck as he said a little more softly, "And I actually am looking forward to getting out of town for a few days with...both of ya nerds."</p><p>Quincey rolled his eyes at the normally self-assured man’s stuttering. <em> Smooth, tiger, real smooth there. Almost stuck the landing and then you stumbled right at the end. Could you trip over yourself any more when it comes to this woman? </em> he thought amusedly. </p><p>He gave Poppy another reassuring squeeze as Tora turned to check himself out in the big mirror. Quincey immediately caught when the stoic man’s mouth quirked up just a little bit as he took in the sight of his battle gear. Tora stood just a little straighter as he moved his arms experimentally and twisted a couple times. </p><p>“Yeah, this’ll do fine, Quince,” he finally said. “Don’t think it’ll be too hot or heavy, and I can move in it okay….plus, it does look pretty fuckin’ cool.”</p><p>“Maybe I can put a couple braids in your hair, to complete the look?” Poppy said a little shyly. When Tora gave her an unamused look, she huffily rolled her eyes. “Not like before, I promise. I’ll just put one braid on each side to keep the hair out of your face. I think it’d really complete your look,” she said. </p><p><em> “Before?” </em> Quincey practically sang with excitement, wiggling closer to Poppy. “He’s let you braid his hair previously? Oh, do tell, little miss editor.”</p><p>“Mind ya own damn business, Quinceton,” Tora snapped, turning to scowl at his younger brother. </p><p>He was quite the commanding figure - practically royal in that attire, Quincey was pleased to note - planting his hands on his hips and glaring over at the blonde man who still had his arm genially slung over Poppy’s shoulder. Quincey noticed Tora’s eyes narrowing with irritation...and was that just a tiny hint of <em> jealousy </em>perhaps? Hmm, interesting.</p><p>“And isn’t it about damn time for ya to pick an outfit, Princess?” Tora muttered. “Christ, feel like I’ve been trying on shit for a fuckin’ hour now. We’re gonna be here all goddamn day at the rate ya take to try on shit.”</p><p>Quincey patted Poppy’s arm and then stood up, waving Phillipe over. “Oh pish posh, don’t exaggerate, you big whiny baby. You only tried on three outfits, and one of them was just for fun,” he said lightly. “That was twenty minutes at the absolute most. I will definitely be trying on more than that, but it has to coordinate with what you’re wearing. I mean, I have to look just as fabulous as you do in that get-up. So go get changed and come keep our intrepid leader company while I figure out what I’m going to wear for our grand expedition.”</p><p>------------------------</p><p>Quincey tried on a total of six outfits, much to Tora’s annoyance and Poppy’s delight. Both of their feedback was actually helpful, though Tora’s was obviously more profanity laden and filled with smart ass commentary. Poppy kindly pointed out which ensembles would be far too oppressive to wear all day while walking around the dusty festival grounds. </p><p>Each time Quincey came out to show them the latest costume option, he noticed that the big, sneaky tiger had crept just a little bit closer to Poppy. Eventually the side of their legs were just barely pressing together, and Tora had his arm slung along the back of the couch behind her as he leaned in to tease her with a happy little smirk on his face. He almost looked disappointed when Quincey announced he was on his final outfit. </p><p>As an author, he’d known from the get-go that he wanted to be a bard. What better role to play for the day than a singing storyteller? Plus, bards had the most flare and flamboyant sense of fashion, which Quincey could totally get on board with. The problem was in deciding which direction he wanted to go with it. </p><p>Phillipe had helpfully suggested a predominantly red and brown/black colorful scheme with accents of silver to coordinate with Tora’s armor. But there were a variety of decisions to make after that. Royal court or traveling bard? Cape or no cape? (Poppy nixed the cape, saying it was far too warm at this time of year for that extra layer). Tights or pants? (tights were unanimously and resoundingly voted down by both judges). Hat or no hat? (Definitely yes to the hat, with Tora devilishly smirking as Poppy enthusiastically proclaimed, “The bigger, the better!”)</p><p>Quincey finally assembled the perfect outfit when he pulled elements from all the different costumes he’d tried on. </p><p>The reddish brown striped cropped jacket with puffy sleeves and the big collar came from the first ensemble. The black and red diamond patterned jerkin with the scalloped hem and a low slung black leather belt were from outfit #2. The dark brown breeches tied with red bows at the knees was from costume #3. The almost comically large floppy red hat with two feathers jauntily stuck into it came from outfit #4. He filched the knee high piratey black boots, the black leather belt pouches to hold his phone and money, and the fingerless dark brown gloves from costume #5. Outfit #6 provided the silver arm bracers and a pewter drinking cup to hang from his belt, just because he thought they looked cool.</p><p>Tora immediately put the kibosh on the idea of Quincey carrying around an instrument of any kind as soon as the blonde man started to bring it up. </p><p>He ticked off his objections one at a time to make his point. “One, I know damn well you’re just gonna get sick of it within fifteen minutes, and I’ll end up having to lug it around for ya the rest of the fuckin’ day. Two, ya can’t play any stringed instruments to save ya goddamn life, so it’s pretty much pointless anyways. And three, if ya so much as sing a single fuckin’ word about tossing any coins at me, I’ll break ya damn fingers,” Tora grumbled.</p><p>His arm slid off the back of the couch as he leaned forward and gestured at Quincey, his fingers seemingly unconsciously yet naturally sliding around Poppy’s hip, pulling her just a little closer to him as he shifted position.</p><p>A moment later, Tora blinked as he realized where his hand had ended up, a very slight dusting of red appearing on his cheeks as Poppy blushed much more brightly. </p><p>Quincey decided to not torture them further and quickly stepped in to save his hapless friend. “Well, now that I’ve got my outfit all set, Pops, it’s your turn! I can’t wait to see what you choose,” Quincey said, clapping delightedly as he danced over to them with a twirl. </p><p>He grabbed Poppy’s hands and spun her up and around, smoothly pulling her out of her seat, “Are you going to be a princess to our brave warrior and dashing bard? Perhaps a bar wench? A pirate queen? A downtrodden peasant seeking a life of adventure?” he asked, punctuating each question with a grand gesture and another twirl. </p><p>Poppy giggled at his enthusiasm, her embarrassment immediately forgotten at his antics. Quincey brought her to stop in front of the amused Phillipe as she said, “I might have an idea, but I want to talk about it privately.” </p><p>“Oooh, are you going for something more bold, perhaps even a little risque?” Quincey trilled delightedly before Tora directed an annoyed grunt at him. </p><p>“Leave her alone, Princess. She can pick out whatever the hell she wants,” he muttered gruffly.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure it coordinates with our established color scheme,” Poppy said with a giggle. “I wouldn’t want to throw off the look by picking a clashing color palette.”</p><p>“See? <em> She </em> gets it, Tora,” Quincey said haughtily. “I knew I made a good decision picking you as my editor.” He waved her and Phillipe off as he sashayed back into the fitting room to change, pausing to mouth, “ <em> You’re welcome,” </em> to Tora before he shut the door.</p><p>------------------------</p><p>Poppy and Phillipe disappeared for almost ten minutes; the only thing Quincey and Tora could make out was the excited tone of their voices as the editor and store employee chattered back and forth. A few minutes into their spirited conversation, Phillipe laughed and they overheard him say, “Oh, that’s a great idea! I’ll see what I can do,” before his voice dropped back into an unintelligible murmur. </p><p>“Hmmm, any idea what they’re plotting out there?” Quincey whispered conspiratorially to his silent companion.</p><p>Tora grunted and shrugged. “Not a mind reader, Quince. Don’t really give a fuck what she wears, just want Shorty to go in whatever’s gonna make her happy,” he muttered as he swiped a couple strawberries from the picked over snack tray. A moment later he arched a bemused brow at Quincey as the blonde man smiled broadly and leaned forward to grab another glass of champagne.</p><p>“What is it, Quince?” Tora mumbled around a mouthful of strawberry. “Why are ya grinning at me like a goddamn idiot right now?”</p><p>“Maybe because I’m just enjoying watching the bigger idiot in front of me stumble all over himself because he’s madly in love with a certain spunky little editor,” Quincey pointedly said as he took a sip of his drink, returning Tora’s arch look. </p><p>The dark haired man narrowed his eyes, shooting his friend a dour expression as he continued to munch away. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Princess,” he grumbled. </p><p>“Oh, please, Honey, even a blind man could see you’re into her...and that the feeling is very much mutual. I don’t know why you haven’t made more of a move yet. Usually you’re so...assertive and confident with the ladies,” Quincey said with a raised brow and a knowing glance.</p><p>Tora clenched his jaw and pulled his gaze away. He sat there silently with a distant look in his eyes, and Quincey kicked himself for pushing too far. He thought for sure he wouldn’t be getting anything else out of the guarded, tight-lipped man about the tiny buxom brunette that day. </p><p>Tora surprised him a moment later when he quietly murmured, “It’s...different with her. Just...don’t wanna mess it up, ya know?”</p><p>Quincey gently hummed agreeably, not wanting to say anything that would shut down his normally reticent to share anything older brother. Sometimes he did actually know when to close his big mouth and listen.</p><p>“And she deserves a hell of a lot more than what I’ve got to offer, that’s for damn sure,” Tora muttered, his golden eyes directed down at the floor as his shoulders tightened. </p><p>Quincey opened his mouth to offer some consoling words but then closed it again. He knew the life Tora led was not even close to the one he wanted; hell, they both were unwillingly chained to the mafia and simply trying to make the best of it - Quincey just had a nicer collar and better treats. But the unexpected honest confession made his heart ache with sympathy for the much harder life Tora had been forced to live. </p><p>He reached over and patted Tora’s knee as the two men lapsed into silence. They sat there for a few long moments occupied with their own thoughts, before Quincey quietly said, “I think the opinion on your worthiness should be up to Poppy, don’t you agree? You <em> both </em>deserve some happiness in your lives, and if you find that in each other...don't let that slip away just because you think you're not good enough for her.”</p><p>Tora didn’t say anything, but Quincey could feel the tension vibrating through his brother as he softly continued, “I think you need to let Poppy decide for herself whether you’re the right one or not for her. And I think the answer is already pretty obvious on that point. I don’t think she has eyes for anyone else.” </p><p>“It’s too dangerous, Quince. She has no idea what she’d be getting into being with me,” Tora muttered. </p><p>Quincey gave Tora a half smile as he said, “Well, maybe clue her in a little more, and see what she says? She already knows we’re in the mafia and that hasn’t scared her off in the slightest. Actually seems to enjoy being around us, which is pretty refreshing, if I do say so myself.” He took another swig of his champagne and then said, “And for some reason, she has quite the thing for my moody, grouchy bodyguard in spite of his at times abrasive and off-putting disposition. I mean, she’s gone toe to toe with you and held her own without so much as batting an eye, Tora. How many people have the courage to do that?”</p><p>Tora snorted and the corners of his mouth turned up. “A feisty ballsy hamster, that’s for damn sure,” he said under his breath.</p><p> “So maybe don’t be so worried about her not being able to handle it if things get a little hairy, hmm?” Quincey gently prodded. “Besides, Gyu and I can’t be the only ones <em> blessed </em>with putting up with your sparkling, effervescent personality. Share the love, bro,” he said, gesturing a little sloppily with his glass as he jovially flopped against Tora’s shoulder. </p><p>Tora’s mouth twitched upwards as he expertly removed the champagne flute from Quincey’s hand and shoved the blonde man away from him good naturedly. “Cutting you off, Princess. That’s like your fourth glass since we’ve been here,” he said.</p><p>Quincey pouted for a moment, but popped back up as they heard Poppy and Phillipe coming towards them with a rolling garment rack in tow. “Just think about what I said, okay?” he murmured before standing up to enthusiastically ask what his editor would be trying on.</p><p>------------------------</p><p>“Oh, look at you, little miss fancy princess,” Quincey squealed delightedly when Poppy came out in her first outfit a few minutes later.</p><p>She smiled shyly and curtsied before picking up her dragging skirts to twirl around for them. She was currently wearing a very period appropriate outfit: a heavily brocaded velvet red dress with a large skirt and a black undershirt with long flowing sleeves. The front of the bodice had silver chains draping back and forth. </p><p>Quincey thought she looked absolutely smashing and was ready to call it good until Poppy sighed and shook her head. “Oh, I just wanted to try this one on for fun. I’ve always loved the court ladies’ dresses, but I don’t know how they manage to wear them all day. I’m already roasting in this!” she said, fanning herself as her face flushed from her small amount of exertion. </p><p>She twirled one more time in front of the big mirror and giggled before heading back into the changing room. </p><p>“What’d you think?” Quincey leaned over to quietly ask Tora, who was currently leaning back into the cushy couch with his arms crossed and his legs stretched out. </p><p>“Looked cool, but not really her style,” Tora answered, loud enough for Poppy to overhear him. “Poppylan is gonna go with something less fussy than that.”</p><p>“That I am!” she called out. “This next one’s a bit more the direction I’m thinking, though it’s not quite what I want.”</p><p>A couple minutes later she stepped out in a get-up that immediately had Tora sitting up straighter and paying a lot more attention. </p><p>Poppy plopped a black tricorn hat on her head as she struck a dramatic pose. She was wearing a shimmery red, front lacing corset over a long black shirt that fell to mid thigh with puffy sleeves that tapered to a tight fit on her wrists, black leather arm bracers on her forearms, red leggings and black over-the-knee boots. </p><p>She turned and looked in the big mirror and wrinkled her face into what Quincey guessed was her attempt at a fierce scowl. The effect was short lived as she broke into a giggle at the sight of herself. </p><p>“Oh, this is fun, for sure, but not quite the look I’m going for,” she said, giving a twirl so Quincey could see the whole thing before bouncing back into the fitting room. </p><p>She showed them two more outfits: first, a more simple Disney princess style dress in dark red with a black capelet that both Tora and Quincey agreed was too boring. </p><p>“I’m paying for this, Poppy, go for something over the top and exciting!” Quincey exclaimed, shooing her back into the fitting room. </p><p>The second costume was a layered peasant style ensemble that was mostly different shades of brown and black with a few touches of red that Quincey said was good on its own, but wouldn’t stand out next to his and Tora’s outfits.</p><p>Phillipe brought her one more option in a garment bag, which had Poppy giddily announcing to them that she’d found the perfect one.</p><p>“Well, let’s see it!” Quincey said. He could see Tora was also intrigued at finding out what she’d settled on.</p><p>“No,” she said after a moment.</p><p>“What do you mean, no?!” the blonde man gasped in shock. “The people need to know, Pops! You can’t keep us in suspense like this.”</p><p>Poppy laughed but stood her ground. “Not gonna lie, it <em> is </em> pretty darn cool. And I can’t wait for you to see it, but I want it to be a surprise, okay?” she said.</p><p>“Not even a teeny tiny little peek? Just give us a hint, pretty please?” Quincey cajoled her, trying to wheedle her into revealing what exactly she was wearing.</p><p>“There’s red and black with silver accents to go with what you guys chose,” she teased, making Quincey groan with frustration and Tora amusedly snort. “But you’re just going to have to wait until the day of to see it,” Poppy stated firmly, her mind obviously made up and now immovable in her decision.</p><p>“Feisty indeed. Also stubborn as hell and a bit of a little shit. She really is perfect for you,” Quincey murmured to Tora, who had a smirk on his face. His older brother knew full well how much not knowing what she’d chosen was going to drive him crazy for the next several days.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tora's totally wearing a replica of Ulaan's armor, just in a darker color palette.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Toss A Hamster To Your Tora</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The trio hits the road, but not before Quincey gets himself in hot water with both Tora and Poppy. Nobody yeets the hamster without severe consequences.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to peanutbutterandchelly and FawkesFire13 for their beta reading and feedback on this chapter. Now that I've gotten A Lily For Tora to a little calmer spot in the story, I'll try to get a couple chapters of this one up before the end of the year.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“No snacks for you, Princess,” Tora said as he slapped Quincey’s hand, not bothering to take his eyes off the road. </p><p>The blonde man yelped and then flopped back and pouted at being caught. He’d been trying to stealthily reach into the bag tucked in the center console cup holder from his spot in the back seat. </p><p>“Come ooon, just one? My head still huuurts,” he whined. </p><p>“That’s ya own damn fault,” Tora said, glancing up at Quincey in the rearview mirror with zero sympathy in his gaze.</p><p>“Poppy, sweetie, darling, honeypie, take pity on your poor famished star client, pretty please? I’m wasting away back here,” Quincey begged, switching tactics to focus on the bearer of the snacks currently riding shotgun and munching away on yogurt covered pretzels.</p><p>She turned and looked at him coolly for a long moment, before popping another pretzel in her mouth and chewing slowly, not taking her eyes off him the entire time. </p><p>“I’m still not talking to you," she finally said, her voice deepening just a bit as she stared him down with what Tora could easily guess was her formidable, dark hooded gaze. "And I'm off the clock this weekend, remember? You're the one who made sure of that.”  </p><p>Tora smirked, proud she wasn’t having any of the princess’ bullshit, incredibly amused at her ever ready sass, and relieved that glower wasn’t directed at him this time. Poppy gave him a run for his money with her intimidating glare, though he certainly wasn't going to tell <em> her </em>that.</p><p>He extended an open hand towards her, wiggling his fingers, and Poppy immediately placed several pretzels in his upturned palm, both of them very deliberately not looking at Quincey. </p><p>Tora would normally never eat sugary junk like this, but damn if he was going to pass up an opportunity to get back at the whiny little shithead sitting behind him. Both for that ridiculous outfit that left him awkwardly standing half naked in front of Poppy on Sunday afternoon, and then for fucking around with her safety and being an annoying dick to them earlier before they left her apartment.</p><p>Not that Tora would mind in the slightest taking off <em> all </em>his clothes for her at some point - he just didn’t want a meddling audience all up in their business anywhere in that process. Even if he meant well, Quincey could be so goddamn nosy, and Tora didn’t feel like having his interactions with Poppy winding up as fodder for one of his brother's books. </p><p>“You don’t even like those!” Quincey gasped as the dark haired man tossed the handful of pretzels into his mouth. </p><p>Tora shot a glance up at the rearview mirror again and arched an eyebrow as he chewed. “I do today,” he responded after he’d swallowed.</p><p>“So you’re just going to let me starve like this? I thought we were friends, war forged compatriots, brothers unto death,” the blonde man huffed as he crossed his arms. When Tora just threw him another unamused look in the rearview mirror, Quincey pouted harder and then started petulantly kicking the back of the driver’s seat.</p><p>“Knock it off, Quinceton. No distracting the driver,” Tora growled at him. He was more annoyed at the man's juvenile antics than genuinely worried about safety; no matter what the aggravating dipshit did to bother him, Tora knew he could easily stay in control of the vehicle and focused on the road. When you’d dealt with people actively shooting at you while you were injured and trying to escape through narrow, winding back alleys on more than one occasion, pretty much anything else was just a minor irritation in comparison. </p><p>Quincey scowled and kicked one more time for good measure. Okay, now he was really starting to get on Tora’s nerves. </p><p>“Keep that up, and you’ll be walking the rest of the way, Princess,” Tora warned him. </p><p>Quincey immediately stopped, knowing the mafia enforcer and de facto leader of the Balthuman shadow division didn't make idle threats. He stuck out his tongue and then continued to moodily sulk in the back seat.</p><p>“Oh, don’t be so mean, Tora. We can’t just leave him stranded on the side of the road,” Poppy said sweetly, and Quincey excitedly perked up at her words. “Just strap him to the roof if he doesn’t stop,” she finished with a completely straight face and in the same tone one might use to tell someone the weather. </p><p>Poppy glanced back with a raised eyebrow as she gave the tall blonde an assessing look. “Pretty sure it wouldn’t take that much rope to make sure he doesn’t fly off. And then I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone trying to steal my snacks,” she said, shrugging her shoulders indifferently before turning to face forward again.</p><p> Quincey’s mouth dropped open and then snapped shut as her response left him completely speechless for once. He deflated into his seat as the realization settled in that he was outnumbered, outmatched, and would be getting no mercy from anyone in the front seat.</p><p>Tora had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning. God, could Poppy be any more of an absolutely fuckin’ adorable little shit? She was just about as good at messing with people as he was. She really did use her seemingly sweet, cutesy girl next door vibe to devastating effect when she wanted to.</p><p>Not only had Quincey just gotten his ass expertly handed to him, but he’d also learned the hard way to not take the five foot nothing woman at face value. Not that he’d thought little of her - Tora knew the famous Q. B. Noyouko wouldn’t have signed on with just any editor - but he definitely wouldn’t be underestimating Poppy in the slightest going forward. </p><p>Tora knew firsthand how well she used the doe-eyed innocent act to her advantage; the woman was a stone cold badass when it suited her, just staring down thugs left and right without so much as breaking a sweat. He could count on one hand, with fingers left over, the people ballsy enough to make prolonged eye contact with him more than once. Poppy had not only done that, but also gone toe to toe with him on multiple occasions now and hadn’t so much as flinched. Feisty little hamster indeed. </p><p>“Oh come on, you guuuuys. I’m hungreeee,” Quincey moaned after he found his voice again, flopping dramatically across the back seat. He had plenty of space to stretch out since Tora had rented a large crossover for the trip to fit all their bags and costumes. </p><p>“Quit yer whining, Princess. Yer acting like ya haven’t eaten all damn day. We haven’t even been on the road for two full hours yet,” Tora said flatly. </p><p>God, would an <em> actual </em> toddler be any more demanding than the fussy pansy ass behind him? Hell, <em> three </em>kids probably wouldn’t even be as much of a handful to deal with as Quincey was sometimes.</p><p>The blonde man sighed loudly, and then did it again even more forcefully a few seconds later when he got no reaction from either Tora or Poppy. </p><p>“So that’s it, you’re just going to let me lay here and waste away to nothing?” he groaned, flapping his hands towards the front seat pathetically. “Are you really <em> still </em>mad at me about earlier?”</p><p><em>“Yes!" </em>Tora and Poppy spun around and snapped in unison.</p><p>“Earlier” had been when the blonde man apparently thought it was a good idea to just fuckin’ <em> throw </em>Poppy at Tora like the princess was going for gold in the goddamn shot put. And then proceeded to embarrass the hell out of them as only Quincey could. </p><p>------------------------</p><p>The morning had started out well enough. Tora got the rental car (in red, because why the hell not), swung by Fawkes Tail to load up all their costumes, and then picked up Quincey and his four bags. <em> Four, </em> for two fuckin’ nights. </p><p>“What the hell, Quince? Thought I told ya to pack light,” Tora grumbled as he intentionally tossed the multiple heavily packed pieces of cheetah print luggage much harder than necessary into the trunk next to his <em> one </em>small duffel bag. </p><p>Quincey looked at him in confusion. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Honey. This <em> is </em>me packing light,” he said, gesturing toward the pile of bags. “I didn’t even bring my second hair dryer.”</p><p>Tora rolled his eyes and heaved an annoyed sigh, resisting the urge to smack the shit out of the man standing next to him. </p><p>“For fuck’s sake, Quinceton, could you be any more of a goddamn spoiled princess,” he muttered.</p><p>What the hell did he think he had to bring beyond something to sleep in and one outfit for the ride home? They didn’t even need a change of clothes for tomorrow, since they’d be in costume all day at the nerd fest.</p><p>The fussy, high maintenance man was acting like they were going halfway across the motherfuckin’ country. It was just over two hours to Moonbright and then an hour and a half from there to their hotel. The festival grounds weren’t even forty minutes from where they were staying. And it would be even less than that if Quincey hadn’t insisted on staying somewhere fancy. Tora would have been fine with a motel or even camping, as Poppy had mentioned she’d done that with her dad a time or two, but no, the princess refused to stay anywhere that didn’t offer room service and an on-call concierge.</p><p>He supposed he couldn’t complain too much since Quincey <em> was </em> paying for the whole thing. And his friend <em> was </em>getting Tora completely away from any and all clan bullshit for a few days, which was a very rare opportunity to breathe a little more freely. His suffocating collar would loosen just a bit with the distance they were going from the heart of Balthuman territory. </p><p>But did the blonde man have to be such an annoying little shitweasel about it at the same time?</p><p>Tora grumbled a bit more as he rearranged the trunk space, making sure there’d be room for Poppy’s things. <em> She </em> would bring two small bags, max, if he had to guess. <em> Some people </em> knew how to leave most of their goddamn shit at home while they were gone for not even three fuckin’ days. </p><p>Quincey came up next to Tora and started rifling through the costume bags. </p><p>“The hell do ya think yer doing?” Tora snapped, immediately knowing what the blonde man was looking for. He firmly smacked his nosy friend's hand away before he could unzip the garment bag containing Poppy’s outfit.</p><p>“Aw, don’t be mean, booboo! I just want a little peek. I’m dying to see what our favorite plucky editor picked out,” Quincey protested, shaking the sting out of his hand. “And I bet I’m not the only one who wants to know,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.</p><p>Oh, did he ever. Tora was super curious what Poppy had chosen and why she’d wanted to keep it a secret. But he certainly wasn’t about to tell Quincey that. </p><p>He would do his fuckin’ best to make sure none of her fun was ruined over the course of the next couple days. Poppy had been planning on going to this thing by herself before Quincey had so brazenly invited himself and Tora along last minute. While she’d responded enthusiastically to the two of them joining her, Tora would have been pissed as all hell if someone had done the same thing to him. </p><p>She was just so damn excited for this whole fuckin’ weekend, Tora wasn’t going to let his intrusive brat of a younger brother spoil any of it for her, especially her big reveal. Unlike some nosy people, he could be patient - especially if it made the little hamster happy. The princess would just have to deal with not knowing for one more day. </p><p>Tora closed the back of the car with a forceful snap and shoved Quincey towards the passenger side. “Nope, yer just gonna hafta wait, Quincey boy. She said she wants it to be a surprise, so it gets to be a surprise,” he said, his tone leaving no room for further discussion on the matter.</p><p>“You’re no fun!” the blonde man complained as he flopped down into the passenger seat.</p><p>“Never said I was,” Tora grunted as he slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. </p><p>Though for Poppy, he was willing to step out of his comfort zone a fuck ton more than he would for anyone else, that was for damn sure. He’d realized fairly quickly that for her he would do almost anything. Including going to a giant nerd fest out in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere in a mother fucking costume. </p><p>Yeah, he had it bad, didn’t he?</p><p>The strawberry hair tie that now had a permanent place in his pocket said that was a big fat resounding “duh, no shit.”</p><p>------------------------</p><p>A little while later, Tora and Quincey were leaning against the guard shack at Poppy’s apartment building chatting with an on-duty Gyu when the main entrance door burst open and the bright eyed little woman came flying out in a whirl of excited energy. Her hair flew behind her in two braids as she practically skipped across the parking lot to them, her enthusiasm and eagerness for the coming weekend readily evident. It was obvious she’d been all set to go well before they’d arrived, bounding outside and making her way over to them less than five minutes after Quincey texted they were pulling up to her building. </p><p>She was dressed in a yellow and white striped short sleeved V-neck shirt that was tucked into jeans with colorful smiley face flower patches on the knees, red and white low top Chucks on her dainty dancing feet. Tora was pretty sure those were the same ripped pair of pants she’d been wearing the day they’d first crossed paths, noting with amusement that the tears had been repaired in the most Poppy way possible. </p><p>Christ, why was everything about this woman so stinkin’ cute?</p><p>“See, <em> some </em> people actually know what ‘pack light’ means,” Tora muttered to Quincey as he nodded towards Poppy’s <em> one </em>overnight bag hanging off her shoulder. Her brown leather purse was slung across her ample chest, a small shopping bag that looked to be absolutely stuffed with various kinds of sugary junk food clutched in her hands. A bright pink glittery lanyard with a jingling set of keys and various colorful keychains swinging freely on it was wrapped around her right hand.</p><p>Quincey rolled his eyes at Tora and stuck out his tongue. “Some people actually know what pack light means,” he repeated mockingly, wagging his head and putting his hands on his hips in sarcastic imitation of his more practical friend. “Geez, give me a hard time, why don’t you, for bringing along a few creature comforts from home.”</p><p>“Fuckin’ <em> four </em>bags. And they’re not small ones either,” Tora grumbled to Gyu as he shot Quincey an irritated glare before he strode away to relieve Poppy of her duffel bag and snacks.</p><p>He was much gentler handling her things than he’d been with the princess’ luggage, and Quincey noticed, arching an unimpressed brow and narrowing his eyes at Tora’s careful placement of her sensibly sized bag in the trunk.</p><p>Tora directed her to put her purse in the front passenger seat, which pulled an immediate squawk of protest out of Quincey. </p><p>“Hey, I called shotgun!” the blonde man whined as he started marching over to the car. </p><p>“It doesn’t fuckin' count if yer the only one there, Princess,” Tora said, carelessly flinging Quincey’s stupidly expensive sunglasses and designer jacket into the back seat. “And don’t try to say ya don’t have enough leg room, because this thing has plenty.”</p><p>“Oh, it’s fine, I don’t mind sitting in the back at all,” Poppy said, glancing uncertainly from Tora to Quincey as she paused in putting her purse in the car, gripping the bag with both hands as she drew it to her chest. </p><p>“Hands down, I’ll take ya up front over him any day, sweetheart, and not just cuz yer cute. Princess here will fuck with literally all the controls he can get his goddamn grabby hands on if I let him ride shotgun for longer than fifteen minutes,” Tora told her, not able to keep the rumble of irritation out of his voice. He pinned Quincey with an annoyed scowl. “Somehow managed to permanently set the radio in my car to fuckin’ bluegrass K-pop, which is not a thing I needed to know existed. Swore up and down he couldn’t figure out how to switch it back. Took Gyu almost half an hour to fix it.” </p><p>“It’s called K-grass, you uncultured brute. It’s very in right now,” Quincey tried to say airily, his words trailing off as he wilted under Tora’s completely unamused glower. </p><p>When Poppy continued to hesitate in letting go of her purse, Tora kept his gaze locked on Quincey as he placed the snack bag on the floor in front of the passenger seat with deliberate slowness, silently daring the blonde man to complain again.</p><p>“Alright, looks like we’re good to go,” Tora said, standing back up and gesturing for Poppy to get in. “Did ya lock up ya place already?” he asked, pointing to the keys dangling from her hand. </p><p>Gyu had recently convinced the landlord to install new locks on every unit in the building, citing the increased likelihood of attracting more tenants if some basic security upgrades were implemented. Poppy just didn’t know that her lock set somehow happened to be far better quality than anyone else’s or that her old balcony door had been swapped out for a significantly more secure, bullet proof one. </p><p>“Really, it’s fine, Tora,” Poppy said, trying to lean around him to grab her snacks. “The back seat would be better for me anyways. It’ll give me more space to spread out a bit and work on a few things on our drive. I just need to run back upstairs to grab my work stuff, and then I’ll be ready to head out.”</p><p>“Oh no you don’t!” Quincey screeched as he grabbed Poppy by the shoulders and spun her around to face him, pulling a surprised squeak out of the tiny woman. “This is a weekend of fun and relaxation for <em> all </em>of us, miss workaholic, which includes you! It can wait until Monday, Pops,” he said, pointing an admonishing finger in her face to emphasize his argument.</p><p>Poppy set her mouth in a stubborn line and narrowed her eyes at him, opening her mouth to argue with her star client when he yanked her purse out of her grasp with no warning, tossing it over her shoulder to a now amused Tora. He easily caught it with one hand and smoothly set it on the passenger seat behind him without looking, enjoying watching the impetuous, stubborn princess outmaneuver the impulsive, headstrong hamster. </p><p>Tora knew from firsthand experience how relentless Quinceton Balthuman could be, a powerful force to reckoned with once he’d made up his mind to help someone. Poppy hadn't yet been the focus of the man at his most determined. It was like watching a benevolent hurricane blow in and completely flatten someone....all with love and the best of intentions, according to Quincey. Still left your head spinning though and wondering what the hell just happened.</p><p>“Quincey!” Poppy started to protest, turning to follow the flightpath of her purse, her eyes landing on Tora’s growing grin.</p><p>He crossed his arms and used his body to block any access to her bags. “He’s right, Poppy. If I gotta leave work shit behind, so do you,” Tora said with a teasing smirk, knowing full well his dimples were on display. </p><p>Poppy huffed angrily and glared at him, her hands balling into fists on her hips. She was outnumbered but wasn’t willing to admit defeat just yet. Knowing it wasn’t even worth trying to change Tora’s mind on this, she turned back to Quincey to bargain with him. Tora saw her posture change as she switched into fawning cute girl, suck up mode.</p><p>“Quincey, I need to look over a few things related to our project. You know, the important one that Mr. Lam, our biggest investor, specifically asked for <em> you, </em> the famous beloved author, to work on,” she wheedled, trying to move past the tall blonde man who kept stepping into her way. “The favorite author of his beloved, now deceased wife, whose dying wish was for her book to finally be completed by said brilliant writer.”</p><p>Quincey snorted at Poppy as he easily blocked her progress again. “We’ve been working on that project non-stop for almost a month now, and I know perfectly well that Fred is more than happy with our progress on it so far. The famous, beloved, brilliant - don’t forget roguishly handsome - author also knows you already triple checked everything at least twice this week, Pops. And I’m sure that doesn’t include the work you did <em> after </em>you officially clocked out for the day and went home,” the blonde man said as he squinted knowingly at her, not falling for her butt kissing this time. “All you're going to get out of working that much is wrinkles far too early and no good adventures to embellish later, honey pie. You’ve worked your cute little booty off, and you deserve to take a well earned break for a couple of days. When was the last time you actually did anything genuinely fun on the weekend anyways?”</p><p>He paused for a moment and then his eyes went wide when Poppy didn’t immediately answer. “Oh sweet Jesus, girl, please tell me it wasn’t your joint birthday party at the club!” he stage whispered in abject horror.</p><p>“I do fun things,” she muttered. “Two Sundays ago, I got a cute keychain and went to a different grocery store than usual to pick up some Pocky flavors I hadn’t tried before.”</p><p>Quincey gasped, grabbing her shoulders again to shake her scoldingly. “That party was three weeks ago! You’re more of a boring, stick in the mud than <em> Tora, </em> and that’s saying something! The man wouldn’t know the meaning of fun if it bit him,” he ranted, his voice rising to an indignant screech.</p><p>“No offense, Honey, but you know it’s true. You never go out unless I drag you somewhere with me,” Quincey tossed off as an aside to Tora in a completely calm voice before he turned back to glare at the abashed, five foot nothing woman held firmly in his grip.</p><p>Tora grunted noncommittally in response, trying not to show how much he was enjoying Quincey’s dramatic interference not being aimed at him for once, happy that the blonde man was directing his flamboyant bossiness towards a good cause. He actually agreed wholeheartedly with his over-the-top younger brother - Poppy <em> did </em>need to relax and unwind more. </p><p>She’d been fairly bright eyed and bushy tailed the week after their big evening out at Fallen Angels, but in the last two weeks she’d started looking increasingly tired and stressed whenever he’d seen her at the Giant Goldfish office. And regrettably, that was the <em> only </em>place he’d gotten the chance to interact with her one-on-one in any way since their joint party. Their far too brief snatches of conversation always filled his chest with little shimmery bubbles of happiness and peace for hours afterwards, each short interaction reviving the longing to be around her as much as possible.</p><p>Sure, Tora had given her a couple rides home when the weather had been bad at the end of the day, and he’d attended a few work related dinners, and he’d also picked her up on Sunday to go try on costumes at Fawkes Tail, but Quincey had also been present for all of those occasions. Tora loved being around Poppy in any capacity, but it just wasn’t the same when there were certain people named Quinceton I-stick-my-nose-in-everything Balthuman right the fuck there who was eager to eavesdrop and meddle in their business.</p><p>He’d thought about asking her to hang out on his actual birthday, but yet again, Vincent’s favorite attack dog had been called up for some time consuming, mind numbing, supposedly high priority job that had not only lasted that whole fuckin' weekend but gone a couple days into the following week. Tora wasn’t 100% sure if it was still intentional at this point, but whenever March 30th rolled around, it always seemed like his boss had some important clan bullshit that required multiple days of work to resolve that apparently only he was ever qualified enough to handle. This year, he hadn’t gotten back home until the ass crack of dawn the day <em> after </em>his birthday. </p><p>Tora’s foul mood had only been slightly assuaged by the little bag he'd discovered hanging on his door knob once he was finally done and had dragged himself back to his apartment. Inside of it he’d found a couple cans of strawberry juice and some matcha Pocky nestled underneath five pink sticky notepads and a bright orange, squishy tiger keychain whose eyes popped out when he squeezed it. Poppy had stuck a note to the keychain that said, “For when you get grumpy,” with a winking smiley face at the bottom. She’d drawn a grouchy tiger face wearing a party hat next to a smiling flower saying “happy birthday!” on one of the sticky pads….which might be currently displayed front and center on his fridge. Another notepad had simply said, “You were right, it totally is a word.”</p><p>Her gift had made Tora genuinely smile and chuckle, which was quite the feat after the four soul sucking days he’d been forced to have. His heart had immediately swelled once he realized who had left the little bag of gifts there for him. He’d been incredibly touched by her kind and thoughtful gesture - the woman obviously paid attention and was far more observant than he’d initially given her credit for - but he’d also gotten beyond pissed that he hadn’t been home to receive Poppy’s gift in person. </p><p>She’d been right the fuck there, probably knocked multiple times and waited a while because that was just the sort of person Bobby was. But no, Tora had been gone because that son of a bitch Vincent still felt the need to yank his chain, using his birthday to yet again remind him that he was only valued as a well trained dog that knew his place and should be thankful for whatever scraps he was tossed.</p><p>Poppy though, she saw him as a person, and apparently someone worth celebrating a little bit. “I’ve never seen Tora as anything but a regular guy,” had been her words, which still left his head spinning with pleasant surprise. Even after she’d learned more about the mafia shit he was caught up in, she still saw him the same. </p><p>He just wanted to spend time with her whenever possible, even as he kept as much of a respectful distance as he could manage. As much as he wanted to take the feisty little woman out to dinner again or just eat some takeout together at her place, maybe hold her hand and cuddle a little bit, Tora was trying his best to give her the space she still wanted and needed. If she wasn’t ready yet, she wasn’t ready. He wasn’t going to fuck with her heart - or his own for that matter - and be a clingy, pushy motherfucker. </p><p>While <em> he </em>wanted nothing more than to taste those incredibly soft, luscious lips of hers again - had thought about every kiss of theirs way more than he cared to admit in the past three weeks - he also understood all too well what she’d meant when she told him she carried invisible scars and wounds from her years with her shitty, controlling ex-boyfriend. She needed to sort out her thoughts, find some peace and emotional stability for herself after the mindfuck that guy had pulled on her. While Tora wasn’t ever given the option to live his life how he wanted, he’d make damn sure Poppy did.</p><p>He could give her time and all the space she needed, even though he yearned to just hold her close and not let go. He would wait as long as Bobby needed. No way in hell was he forcing her into anything before she was good and ready, that was for damn sure. From what little she’d told him, it sounded like she’d gotten more than enough manipulative bullshit from her assweasel, fuckface, shitstain of an ex. </p><p>If he was ever lucky enough for them to actually wind up together, Tora would do everything in his power to make sure Poppy felt cherished for who she was and what she brought to his life. No fuckin’ way did she need to cut off the best parts of herself to fit into some stupid restrictive box of what a woman “should be” - she was already a goddamn angel in his eyes.</p><p>Tora was shaken out of his thoughts as Quincey continued unabated, his voice growing louder and more forceful as he went on, “Tora at least has somewhat of an excuse since he can’t help the weird hours he has to work sometimes. But you!” He poked Poppy right below her collarbone, pushing her back one step at a time towards the car as he jabbed her with each successive word, “You. Need. To. Have. Some. Fun.”</p><p>At that last word, Quincey struck, snagging the keys out of Poppy’s grip, then kept going as he swept her off the ground, picking her up by the waist. The blonde man didn’t give any indication what he was about to do next. Before Tora could react, a shrieking hamster was being flung in his general direction as Quincey bolted away cackling towards the apartment building. </p><p>The princess had just thrown, fuckin’ <em> thrown, </em> the woman Tora cherished more than anything else in the whole world like she was a goddamn sack of potatoes. </p><p>Yeah, somebody was dying today, and his name was motherfuckin’ asshole piece of shit Quinceton about-to-be-in-a-world-of-pain Balthuman.</p><p>Tora reacted on pure instinct, surging forward to catch Poppy before she hit the ground. This time, he’d had zero warning and pretty much no time to get into place to break her fall. He automatically bent his knees to absorb the impact, trying to shift his center of gravity a little lower in the split second he had before Poppy slammed into him. Tora folded around the tiny woman, her momentum sending them down to the ground in an awkward tangle. </p><p>As much as he’d prefer to stay on his feet, he knew it was actually better to roll and disperse the impact across less fragile parts of his body. Tora didn’t want to mess up his knees or ankles right before needing to drive for almost four hours. His ass hit the ground with a hard thump immediately followed by his back forcefully smacking against the pavement, leaving him breathless for a couple winded moments with Poppy clutched to his chest. </p><p>“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill him,” Tora growled after he got his breath back. “Don’t care how much trouble it’ll cause, once I get my hands on that piece of shit, he’s dead.”</p><p>Poppy snorted at his words, but didn’t otherwise move. “Don’t murder my star client, pretty please, I like having a pay check,” she muttered with her face still pressed into his chest.</p><p>“Bobby, ya okay? Anything hurt?” Tora said, grunting as he shifted her just a bit so he could start sitting up with her in his lap. His tailbone was not happy with him, and it felt like he’d landed on one shoulder harder than the other. Tora flexed his shoulders experimentally - might have a couple bruises on his upper back later. Poppy wasn’t heavy by any means, but 100lbs of hamster flying through the air could still do some damage when it hit you square in the chest and threw you flat on your ass.</p><p>Poppy lifted her head to smile reassuringly at him. “Just my pride,” she said as she let him help her get into an upright position. A moment later she arched an eyebrow at him and smirked as she said, “Well, at least this time I get to see who caught me. Thank you, kind sir, for not blindfolding me like my last rescuer. Apparently he was a shy celebrity and worried his face would make me swoon too hard if I caught sight of it.” She patted his shoulder as her grin widened.</p><p>Tora snorted at her to hide the bashfulness he felt about the silly, panicked stunt he’d pulled. God, he was so fuckin' bad at lying off the cuff. That’s why he tended to just keep his mouth shut - can’t get caught lying if you didn’t say anything. Better to just let people fill in the blanks themselves.</p><p>“Yeah, whatever, kid. Maybe don’t make such a habit of falling, and I won’t hafta catch ya so damn much,” he groused at her, suddenly very aware of how close they were, her face just inches from his own, those big brown eyes staring up at him so trustingly making his heart flutter uncontrollably. </p><p>Her soft, curvy, <em> very </em>distracting body was still pressed up against him, a dainty little hand resting on his chest while the other gripped his shoulder, one knee on the ground between his legs and the other awkwardly perched on his left thigh. They hadn’t even been this close together when they’d kissed at Fallen Angels, that was for damn sure.</p><p>“In my defense, this time was <em> not </em>my fault,” Poppy blandly pointed out. A moment later a red flush flared across the apples of her cheeks as she noticed his arm was still firmly wrapped around her. “Uh, Tora, I’m fine, you can let go now,” she muttered bashfully, though he noticed she made no move to break away.</p><p>“Oh, I dunno, sweetheart, seems pretty comfortable to me. Think I could stay like this for a while,” he said with a smirk, squeezing her a little tighter as he tilted his face closer to hers, trying to hide how fast she was making his heart race. Tora could feel something curling happily in his gut, heat rising up the sides of his neck and onto his face the longer the buxom little woman stayed pressed into him. </p><p>Poppy narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth to no doubtedly sass back when she was interrupted by an unfortunately very familiar, loud voice shrieking, “Get a room you two!”</p><p>Quincey leaned out from Poppy’s balcony as he yelled, “Oh my god, are you guys just going to sit there and talk or are you going to kiss already?!”</p><p>Tora made sure Quincey could see the middle finger he held up as he and Poppy both blushed and avoided eye contact with each other. The blonde man just cackled and launched into a surprisingly good, and incredibly loud, rendition of “Kiss The Girl.” </p><p>“There you see her, sitting there across the way. She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her. And you don't know why, but you're dying to try, you wanna kiss the girl,” Quincey serenaded them as he twirled around on the balcony.</p><p>One of the other tenants popped their head out to check what all the commotion was, and Poppy covered her face with her hands as she groaned. “I have to live here,” she muttered. “Just bury me in the ground right now, Tora, because I have died and gone to hell,” the mortified woman said as Quincey added hand motions to his song, gesturing down at them as he sang.</p><p>“Yes, you want her. Look at her, you know you do. It's possible she wants you too. There's one way to ask her. It don't take a word, not a single word. Go on and kiss the girl!” the blonde man swayed across his makeshift dance floor, drawing his hands together in a kissing motion at the word “kiss.”</p><p>“He’s really going to sing the whole thing, isn’t he?” Poppy moaned, burying her face in Tora’s shoulder, the back of her neck and ears shining bright red with mortification. “I take it back, please feel free to kill him in the most humiliating way possible,” she said, her voice muffled as she pressed her face even harder into him.</p><p>Tora would have laughed if he also wasn’t currently just as flustered, though for a completely different reason than Poppy. He didn’t give a flying fuck what anyone else who lived here thought, but Quincey’s antics were just reminding him how much he desperately wanted to kiss her again, how much he wanted to run his hands all over her body...pleasure every inch of her until she was breathless and panting his name. </p><p>He firmly reminded himself to get his mind out of the gutter. None of that was going to happen anytime soon, if ever. But having the incredibly sexy brunette in his arms again, clinging so tightly and pressing herself forcefully into him wasn’t making it very easy to get his increasingly raunchy thoughts under control.</p><p>Tora huffed in frustration. This stunt had definitely earned his annoying, meddlesome younger brother several hard smacks upside the head once he got his ass back down to the car. It’d been a while since he’d done anything truly bad enough for Tora to be tempted to put him in a headlock and punch him hard a few times….Quincey had gotten there in record time today though. Seriously, all the younger brothers he had, whether he was actually related to them or not, were such fuckin' shit heads.</p><p>“Oh, don’t ya worry, sweetheart, I will definitely make sure he’s <em> very </em>unhappy soon,” Tora murmured to her, trying to break the tension and direct some blood flow back up to his brain. “And apparently those voice lessons paid off, though I don’t think this is what his old man had in mind when he hired that fancy singing coach.”</p><p>Poppy snorted and looked up at him in amusement as Quincey hit the chorus, somehow managing to get even louder as he belted out, “Sha-la-la-la-la-la! My, oh my, looks like the boy's too shy, ain't gonna kiss the girl. Sha-la-la-la-la-la! Ain't that sad, it's such a shame, too bad, you're gonna miss the girl. Go on and kiss the girl!” The blonde man rolled his hands, making the universal sign for “get a move on already.”</p><p>“Will he stop if we actually kiss?” Poppy quietly asked him, biting her lip as Tora found himself captured by the wide expressive eyes staring up at him.</p><p>Shit, did she have to be so goddamn cute all the fuckin’ time?</p><p>He rolled his eyes, feeling a flush rise on his cheeks again at her question. “Doubt it. He’ll likely just start on another damn song. Probably something equally stupid and awful like ‘Can You Feel The Love Tonight,’ knowing him,” Tora grumbled.</p><p>Quincey finished the third verse as Poppy’s eyes went slightly steely, clearly settling on some kind of plan for action.</p><p> She looked down and sucked in a deep breath. “I’ll take my chances. It can’t be any worse than this,” she muttered as she swiftly rose to her knees and pulled the collar of Tora’s shirt to bring his face down towards her. </p><p>Tora stiffened with shock for a moment as her lips met his and then couldn’t help melting into her kiss. Fuck, who the hell cared at this point? She was already sitting in his lap in the middle of the goddamn parking lot just after 9am on a Friday, with Quincey doing his level best to embarrass the hell out of them - and succeeding. Gyu was working just as hard to pretend he saw none of what was currently going on outside the guard shack, focusing very intently on the computer screen in front of him. </p><p>Quincey immediately stopped singing to shriek excitedly at them, “Whooooo! Get it, Honey! That’s what I’m talking about!” </p><p>Tora flipped him off again as his other hand naturally and instinctively settled on Poppy’s hip. Jesus fucking christ, she really did taste like heaven. </p><p>This certainly was not even close to the circumstances he’d envisioned their next kiss might occur under, but what the hell, he’d take it. It’d been far too long since he’d gotten to hold her, and he was going to savor it, damn it.</p><p>Quincey whistled at them a couple times and then finally, blessedly fell silent as he went back into Poppy’s apartment. Tora could faintly hear his friend securing the balcony door.</p><p>Poppy pulled away far too soon, her cheeks flush with more than just embarrassment. Tora grudgingly let her go, wanting to do nothing more than pull her back in for another kiss, his fingers reluctantly trailing off her hip as she leaned back and looked down as she straightened her shirt.</p><p>Something inside him mournfully sighed when their bodies broke contact as Poppy clambered out of his lap and sat on the ground next to him. Tora had to actively resist the urge to grab her hand as she set it down near his.</p><p>“I guess it worked?” she said sheepishly.</p><p>Tora snorted. “Ya know, it’s only gonna encourage him to be even worse now. Like that annoying little dipshit needs any <em> more </em>incentive to get on my nerves,” he grumbled. </p><p>Poppy giggled at him, but immediately stopped, swallowing hard when Tora lifted her chin with a gentle finger and caught her gaze.</p><p>“Though I feel a little used right now. Ya only gonna kiss me to get the princess to shut up?” he murmured at her, not upset in the slightest but worried that she’d felt forced into it when she hadn’t really wanted to. </p><p>Poppy’s ears and sides of her neck went red as she averted her eyes from his. “No,” she quietly muttered, her face flaring with a fresh flush of crimson. “I - I mean, yes, but also no. Gah, it can be for more than one reason!” she stammered, her hands fidgeting together in her lap.</p><p>“Oh, and what multiple reasons might those be, Bobby?” he said with a sultry purr, hoping that one of them was because she’d wanted to kiss him just as badly as he’d wanted her to.</p><p>Poppy’s shoulders rose up to her ears, her entire face going red as she stuttered nervously, “I - I - uh, it’s just - you know...it’s...nice?”</p><p>“My lips are nice, huh?” Tora chuckled at her and finally couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to pinch her cheek. “Cute,” he murmured, knowing full well it’d get an immediate rise out of her. </p><p>Poppy narrowed her eyes at him and batted his hand away. “Why do you keep doing that?” she squawked, holding her cheek, her face still flaring hot and flushed. </p><p>“Dunno, maybe for the same reasons you wanted to kiss me again? Still waiting for an actual answer on that, sweetheart,” he said, smirking widely. He flashed his dimples at her, smugly satisfied to see the immediate reaction it caused, her face somehow going an even deeper shade of red.</p><p>“You’re incorrigible, you know that?” she huffed as he effortlessly blocked her incoming punch to his arm.</p><p>Tora laughed at her flustered indignation. He could happily tease the easily riled hamster all damn day, but before he could say anything more the door to the apartment building burst open. Quincey came sauntering out, grinning with self satisfaction, like he hadn’t just embarrassed the ever living shit out of them. </p><p>His pleased expression quickly changed to terror as golden-eyed retribution suddenly charged with murderous intent straight at him. The blonde man shrieked and turned to run back into the building, but Tora caught him before he’d managed to take even three steps.</p><p>“Aaaaaaaahhh! Gyu! Heeeeelp! Save me! I’m too pretty to die!” Quincey screamed as Tora put him in a tight headlock and punched him in the back of the head twice in quick succession.</p><p>“Sorry, Young Master, can’t hear you. Did you need something?” Gyu called from the guard shack. “Looks like Big Bro is right there, so I’ll leave it to him to help you out.”</p><p>“I hate you both so much right now!” Quincey sobbed as Tora dragged him over to the car where Poppy was settling herself into the front seat. “Damn it, Tora, you always leave bruises that last forever!”</p><p>“Be glad I’m only leaving ya with bruises, ya fuckin’ asshole. Ya pull somethin’ like that again, and I swear, I’ll throw ya right off Regina’s Peak,” Tora growled at him, squeezing the exasperating little shitstain just a little more firmly in his chokehold. “The fuck is wrong with ya?! What if I hadn’t caught her?”</p><p>“I have supreme confidence in your well honed, cat-like reflexes, booboo,” Quincey gasped out as he struggled in vain to wiggle free of Tora’s crushing grip on him. “Besides, I knew you were highly incentivized to <em> not </em>let her hit the ground. Gotta impress the lady with your manly feats of strength and all that, right?”</p><p>“I swear to god, Quinceton, if ya give Poppylan so much as a scratch, I will break every bone in ya writing hand with zero hesitation,” Tora snarled, ripping the door open and hurling Quincey into the back seat as roughly as he could.</p><p>“Owwie!” the blonde man whined, rubbing his head. “Promises, promises. You know you love me, Hone-owww!” he broke off into a shriek as Tora reached in to give him another hard smack. </p><p>Tora pulled Poppy’s keys out of Quincey’s hand as the blonde man clutched his head and moaned loudly. “Be happy I went easy on ya fuckin’ goddamn shitty annoying ass,” he said right before he slammed the door.</p><p>“Easy? That was going easy?” Tora heard Quincey sniffle as he held out Poppy’s keys to her.</p><p>“Does that mean I can go get my work stuff now?” she asked brightly as she took back the sparkly lanyard.</p><p>“Nope, sorry, sweetheart. Quincey’s right, ya need a damn break. That shit’s staying here. Ya off the clock starting...now,” Tora said with a smirk as he shut her door and then quickly locked the doors with the key fob. </p><p>“Tora!” she yelled, pulling on the door handle and then pounding on the window.</p><p>He looked at her wide eyed and innocently. “Sorry, Bobby, ya say something? Ya gonna hafta to speak up, I can’t hear a damn thing,” Tora said, pointing at his ear and shaking his head.</p><p>She furiously glared at him as he snickered and walked around to the driver’s side. </p><p>Tora unlocked just his door and then plopped down into the seat. “Alright, looks like we’re all ready to hit the road <em> finally,” </em> he said, emphasizing the last word as he reached back and punched Quincey in the side for good measure.</p><p>The blonde man groaned and whined in protest while Poppy crossed her arms with a huff and angrily pouted as Tora put the car in drive.</p><p>Gyu waved at them as they pulled up to the gate. “Have fun this weekend, you guys! See you on Sunday night,” he called out. </p><p>Tora lifted his hand in acknowledgement as the gate slid open. This wasn’t quite how he’d hoped things would start off, but hell if Poppy and Quincey weren’t right - here he was, actually having some fun. </p><p>------------------------</p><p>Two hours later, Poppy was in a much better mood; her irritation had almost immediately dissipated once she’d broken into her snacks ten minutes into their drive. Tora made a mental note that Pocky, KitKats, and pretzels covered in tooth aching amounts of sugary frosting were apparently an effective hamster pacification tool. </p><p>Within twenty minutes of their departure, Poppy had also quietly admitted it wasn’t worth continuing to stew over, since she did actually need some downtime from work for a couple days. </p><p>Tora however was less amused as Quincey’s constant whining at them from the back seat got louder and more insistent as the miles wore on.</p><p>“Are you guys going to hold this over my head the entire weekend?” he moaned yet again. When Tora and Poppy just continued to give him the silent treatment, Quincey tried to bargain with them, “Come on, you guys, let me make it up to you. I promise I won’t try to sing at you or throw Poppy ever again. Pinky swear, I promise!”</p><p>They passed a road sign that listed the restaurants at an upcoming exit and the blonde sat up and pointed at it enthusiastically. “Lunch! Let me buy you lunch! Whatever you want, it’s on me,” he cajoled. </p><p>“He thinks one meal is going to be enough?” Poppy said archly, still not turning to look back at him. She sniffed and looked at her nails as she said disdainfully, “That’s a pretty paltry offer for having almost thrown me down to the hard, unforgiving ground, don’t you think, Tora? I could have easily broken some bones, maybe sprained something, gotten a concussion. Could have put me out of work for <em> weeks.” </em></p><p>God, she really was a tough, ballsy negotiator, wasn’t she? Tora thought amusedly. He decided to play along, because this was funny as hell and another way to get back at the whiny, meddlesome asswipe in the backseat.</p><p>Tora wiped his face of all emotion, pulling on his impassive “I am not impressed” expression, the one that usually left clan members practically shitting themselves if he directed it towards them. “Hm, yeah, sweetheart, I think ya right. Just trying to buy ya off, and not doing a very good job of it. Ya’d think growing up in the mafia, Quincey boy here would know how to sweeten the pot better than that,” he said dryly.  </p><p>Quincey leaned forward to shove his head into the front seat between them, grabbing Poppy’s hand pleadingly. “I’ll buy you both lunch every day! No, wait - every meal, and all snacks on me for the rest of the trip!” he entreated. </p><p>“Food’s fine, I suppose, but I want something fun to bring home from the Ren Fest,” she said blithely, giving him disinterested side eye. </p><p>“And expensive. Make it fuckin’ expensive,” Tora stage whispered to her. Poppy pointed at him in acknowledgement as she raised her eyebrows in contemplative thought.</p><p>“Whatever you want, Pops, it’s yours! Hell, I’ll get you <em> two </em>of whatever you want. Just pretty please, forgive meeee?” Quincey begged as he patted her hand and flopped his head against her shoulder. </p><p>Tora kept his face expressionless as he laughed internally. Shit, she had their blonde friend absolutely eating out of her hand right now, didn’t she? He told himself to <em> never </em>get on her bad side if he could help it. The five foot nothing woman could have asked Quincey to buy her a fuckin’ penthouse, and he probably would have said yes and handed her a blank check the way she was currently holding his feet over the fire. </p><p>Poppy sighed and pursed her lips as she acted like she was thinking it over. “Well, that exit is coming up pretty soon, and it <em> is </em> almost lunch time….so I suppose that <em> might </em>be fine,” she said loftily. “It’s at least a good start to redeeming yourself.”</p><p>“Oh thank god,” Quincey cried with relief, off the hook for the moment. He threw himself back into his seat and started digging around in his things, pulling out his phone to research which restaurant was good enough for them to deign to eat at. He immediately started muttering to himself as he swiped through their options. </p><p>“Ya drive a real hard bargain there, Bobby,” Tora whispered to her, knowing Quincey was fully distracted. “Ya a straight up ice queen.”</p><p>Poppy looked over at him and batted her eyes demurely. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Tora. I’m just a cute and innocent girl next door,” she said sweetly, blinking her eyes widely at him.</p><p>“Pfft, yeah, <em>sure </em>ya are, sweetheart,” he chuckled as he exited the freeway. “We both know that’s a bigger pile of shit than Quinceton back there.”</p><p>“Hey! I heard that!” the blonde man yelped indignantly.</p><p>“Eh, what’s that, Quincey boy? Ya telling me which restaurant ya treating us to? Because I’m pretty sure yer supposed to be telling me which place we get to order whatever the hell we want for lunch,” Tora said blandly, leveling a flat look at the blonde man in the rearview mirror.</p><p>Quincey gulped and dropped his head back down, frantically busying himself with looking over their lunch options.</p><p>Tora and Poppy looked at each other and bit back matching smiles. Poppy’s eyes danced with silent laughter. </p><p><em> “Is it always this easy?” </em> she mouthed.</p><p>“Nah, sometimes it’s even easier,” he murmured back. “Quinceton, where the fuck are we eating already?” he snapped, making the man in the back jump.</p><p>“I’m working on it, I’m working on it!” he said, holding up his phone to prove he was actually looking.</p><p>“Well, fuckin' work faster, I’m getting hungry,” Tora grumbled at him, letting Poppy see his mischievous smirk.</p><p>Yup, this weekend was off to a fuckin’ hilarious good start, that was for damn sure. If it was just him and Poppy picking on Quincey for three days, he was more than fine with that.</p><p>Though maybe….Tora looked at Poppy out of the corner of his eye, enjoying how pleased with herself she was as she tried to keep a straight face and mostly failed. </p><p>“Hey,” he murmured softly, causing Poppy to glance over at him.</p><p>Tora smirked, put two fingers to his lips and winked at her. She immediately went red and jerked her eyes back to the road in front of them. Though she wasn’t able to hide the little smile that curled up the corners of her mouth.</p><p>Maybe there might be more in store for them this weekend than he’d thought.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks to peanutbutterandchelly for the suggestion of the tiger keychain. It seems like a very appropriate thing for Poppy to give Tora, and is the start of her hunting down tiger themed things years later for their kids.<br/>Also, K-grass is not actually a thing, I just tried to think of the weirdest possible musical genre mash up. But I laugh if it actually becomes a thing. Stranger things have happened.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Page Waiting To Turn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora and Quincey squabble as brothers do. Tora lets slip something important. Poppy has thoughts and feels. All the feels.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy New Year, everyone! A little shorter update than usual today, but I really wanted to kick off the first day of 2021 with a chapter for you all. I'll be writing a couple more chapters of this, and then jumping back into A Lily For Tora again. Unfortunately, I am not good enough to be able to work on two stories at the same time - my brain has to be on one or the other.<br/>As always, peanutbutterandchelly and FawkesFire13 are my amazing and wonderfully helpful beta readers, cheerleaders, and catalysts for sparking great ideas.<br/>And thank you so much for all your support and comments over the past 6 months. I wrote over 44K words last month about MPL from outlines to chapters to ideas that may or may not get written eventually. Thank you for helping me discover this wonderful passion to write and tell stories. You really are so motivating for me to continue and do my best to create engaging, resonant stories. Here's to more fun fanfic in the coming year!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ugh, <em> finally! </em> I’m so tired, it took <em> forever </em>to get here,” Quincey moaned as he staggered into the elegant, gleaming hotel lobby. One large, cheetah print bag was slung across his back, each shoulder had its own smaller though equally stuffed full duffel hanging off it, and the largest piece of his luggage was just being dragged carelessly across the floor behind him. </p><p>Tora made an annoyed scoffing sound in the back of his throat, causing Poppy to glance over at him as they walked in behind their blonde friend. He caught her gaze as he shook his head and then rolled his eyes upwards with a long suffering expression that clearly said, <em> see what I have to put up with? </em></p><p>“Yeah, cuz laying in the back seat and bitchin’ like a goddamn baby for fours hours is <em> so </em> fuckin’ exhausting,” he grumbled loud enough for both Poppy and Quincey to hear.</p><p>“Hey, how come I’m bringing in all of these by myself anyways?” the blonde man asked as he paused to readjust his grip on the biggest and most assuredly heaviest bag. “Aren’t you supposed to help your bestest friend in the whole wide world - who, don’t forget, is paying for this whole grand adventure - carry his things?” he said, gazing over his shoulder at Tora with big, pleading, puppy dog eyes as he gestured at his bags. </p><p>Poppy had thought Tora was exaggerating at first, but her star client had indeed packed like they were going to be gone for over a week. Heck, she probably wouldn’t even bring that much stuff if she was going somewhere for a <em> month. </em>She was morbidly curious about what the extravagant man considered “bare necessities” for a mere three day getaway from home that could fill so many bags.</p><p>Tora snorted and leveled a completely unimpressed look back at their self-proclaimed benefactor, not moved in the slightest by his wheedling. “One, I’m not the princess who decided he needed four fuckin’ bags of god knows what for only two damn nights away. Ya bring that much shit, ya get to carry it all in yerself. Two, ya got it all down to the car just fine, Quince, so don’t try to pretend ya can’t get it all up to ya room,” Tora pointed out with not a trace of sympathy in his voice. He nonchalantly shifted all the garment bags to drape completely over his left arm, freeing up his right hand so he could tick off the reasons one after the next on his fingers. </p><p>Tora handled the bulky weight of their costumes and duffel bags all on one arm with apparent indifferent ease. He didn’t appear to exert any effort or give so much as a second thought to the heavy pile of stuff he so casually held, his attention fully focused on griping at Quincey. Poppy knew she’d struggle to stand, let alone walk, with any steadiness if she was carrying all of that in <em> both </em>of her arms, let alone trying to wrangle it all with just one hand. </p><p>She tried to ignore the memory of how those incredibly strong yet surprisingly gentle fingers had felt holding her hand, the comfort she’d felt when his rough, warm hand wrapped around hers in a careful hold, his fingers threading through hers so naturally. How he’d caressed her face with the lightest, tenderest touch, like she was something precious he was terrified he might break. How his hand had instinctively found its way to her hip at the costume rental place, and how much she’d wanted him to keep it there. How easily and seemingly effortlessly he caught her out of the air as she fell, clutching her body so tightly to his as they tumbled down to the ground. How he’d touched her so hesitantly as they kissed, like he expected her to just push him away at any moment. </p><p>Poppy sucked in a deep breath and shook herself loose from the stomach butterfly inducing thoughts almost as fast as they’d popped up. She quickly shoved those tender memories away to the back of her mind before they could bloom into a blush on her face. Not wanting to admit to herself right then how often those moments had been replayed over the past three weeks when she was laying in bed at night struggling, and absolutely failing, to not think about a certain tall, dark, and incredibly irresistible man.</p><p>Though she wasn't even going to try to pretend that she hadn’t pretty much daily pulled up the pictures she’d taken of Tora on the sly at the club, especially that last one of him with two fingers on his lips as he looked over at her with that sultry little smile.</p><p>Tora was still talking, thankfully oblivious to her momentary distraction and the effect he was having on her without even actively trying. “Three, if ya didn’t notice, I’m already carrying my stuff <em> and </em> Poppylan’s <em> and </em>all our costumes. And fuckin’ four, I don’t make second trips back to the car, so ya just shit out of luck and gonna have to deal with it for once,” he said with firm finality.  </p><p>“Oh come on, it's not like you're carrying <em> that </em> much - you only brought one bag each!” Quincey griped, gesturing at the two small duffel bags easily slung over the dark haired man’s left shoulder.</p><p>Poppy was only carrying her purse and remaining snacks as Tora had insisted on carrying her overnight bag and costume in for her. Well, more like just silently taken them out of the trunk before she’d even had the chance to finish gathering her things together in the front seat. By the time she’d stepped out of the car, Tora already had everything besides Quincey’s luggage loaded up in his arms.</p><p>“Yeah, like normal, sensible people do when they’re not gonna be gone even three fuckin’ days,” Tora snapped back.</p><p>Poppy saw her chance and went for it. “Oh, and Quincey?” she interjected sweetly.</p><p>“Yeah, Pops?” he said, distracted from squabbling with Tora as he looked over at her.</p><p>Poppy waited a beat and then let him see her smile fall away as she hooded her eyes and coolly stared him down. “And the fifth reason you have to carry your own things - you threw me. Like I was a sack of potatoes. Me, your editor. You know, the person who will be making sure your upcoming books have no typos or glaring plot holes,” she said primly, giving him an arch look. “Just be glad Tora let you keep your bags...and your pants.”</p><p>Quincey gasped and shot the dark haired man a betrayed look. “How does she know about that?! How dare you share one of the darkest moments of my life, Tora! I thought we were friends! You swore you’d never tell anyone!” the blonde man screeched with a practically theatrical level of shocked hurt, clearly trying to milk the moment for all it was worth due to Poppy’s presence. </p><p>Tora just blinked impassively and stared Quincey down. “Nope, never said that. Pretty sure it was just <em> you </em>begging me not to tell anyone. Think my words were ‘don’t be an annoying shit and I won’t say anything.’ Ya never stopped being an annoying shit though,” he responded with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. “So ya just gonna stand there and flap ya gums, or are ya gonna get us checked in already?”</p><p>“God, I hate you so much right now! See if you get the nice bed tonight,” the blonde man said, dropping his bags in a pile. He stuck his nose up in the air as he turned on his heel and flounced off in a huff over to the front desk. Poppy overheard him muttering under his breath as he marched away, “Can’t even threaten to make his grouchy, ungrateful ass sleep on the floor, since I know he’d just sleep better down there anyways.”</p><p>Poppy finally couldn’t contain herself anymore and giggled at the antics of the two men. Were they really always like this? They both seemed so intimidating at first glance, but they squabbled and picked at each other just as relentlessly as her cousins did. Here was the heir to two mafia clans and...whatever Tora was, Poppy still wasn't quite clear on what his role was…just going at it like any other siblings she'd been around. It was actually pretty cute and endearing, to be honest.</p><p>“He really is the little brother, isn’t he?” she said, smiling up at Tora.</p><p>“Fuckin’ pain in my ass is what he is,” he grumbled, though she could see the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.</p><p>“Sounds exactly like something a big brother would say,” Poppy pointed out with a grin. “I mean, not that I’d really know what that’s like since I’m an only child. Honestly, I was always a little jealous of my friends who had siblings when I was growing up.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, count yerself lucky ya don’t hafta deal with any annoying ass little piece of shit younger brothers. Always trying to steal my stuff, fuck with my life, and get all up in my goddamn business,” Tora told her grumpily.</p><p>“Sooo, that sounds like big brother code to me for you love him too and would be sad if he wasn’t around?” Poppy said with a sly wink as she tapped the side of her nose. </p><p>Tora rolled his eyes again, though one side of his mouth quirked up in a half smirk. “Yeah sure, kid. Almost as much as I love feisty, sassy ass, reckless hamsters who apparently don't have the good sense god gave a damn flea. Ya know, who lack any regard for personal safety and just charge off into dangerous shit without so much as a second thought for bringing any decent back up, and who like associating with menacing, hardened thugs for some reason,” he groused, directing a disapproving look at her.</p><p>“Hey, I thought we agreed you were done yelling at me about that? And I can handle myself just fine, you know. I don’t need to be six three to take care of myself,” Poppy shot back, drawing herself up to her full height and pointing an admonishing finger at him. </p><p>Her brain caught up with her mouth a moment later, and she felt her eyes widen as her whole body hummed like someone had just plucked the string of a bass guitar right in the center of her chest. Wait, did he just - had Tora just said….he <em> loved </em> her? </p><p>Not just "care about" or "like" or "tolerate"....love. He'd just said "love." About <em> her. </em></p><p>Poppy blinked and dropped her gaze as she tried to nonchalantly readjust her grip on her snack bag and then rifled through her purse. Desperately trying to cover up the flurry of emotions that was racing through her heart and doing its best to flare across her cheeks and leak out her eyes. </p><p>Love? Poppy's mind spun into overdrive as she tried to figure out how to respond to Tora’s unexpected confession. It felt like time slowed down around her as a flood of thoughts crashed through her head at lightspeed.</p><p>She should just pretend she hadn't heard it - she was good at that, wasn't she? Just pretending away things she didn't want to deal with, things that would rock the boat or change the status quo, that might bring up memories and old fears she didn’t want to admit still affected her...things that might require her to put her heart at risk. To acknowledge that she’d heard Tora utter the word “love” in regards to her...would mean she’d have to face the feelings she’d been doing her best to drown out with unending busyness and continual hustle at work the last few weeks. </p><p>There was a door inside her that Poppy had been trying to stay in constant motion to keep herself away from, stubbornly refusing to even pause in front of it long enough to consider the possibilities. Let alone open and walk through it. Because that would mean change, for better or worse….and that was slightly terrifying right now, if she was honest with herself. Okay, scratch that - it was utterly terrifying. </p><p>Love? It wasn't like she'd spent the past three weeks...alright, who was she kidding? Pretty much the last month and a half she’d been doing her best to ignore the constant thoughts and feelings about the incredibly handsome, <em> very </em> distracting man currently standing in front of her. And it wasn’t merely his good looks that had captured her attention so fully and completely. </p><p>He had a good heart. Poppy had seen that over and over again in the brief time that she'd known Tora.</p><p>This was the man who returned a page from her article just because it seemed important. Who tossed his hoodie to her, a random stranger, because he didn’t want her to be uncomfortable. Who’d then caught her stupid butt after she fell out of an old, creaky tree and hid who he was so she wouldn’t be scared of him. Who helped her chase after Mr. Lam when he could have just walked away and dealt with his towed car instead. Who then tracked down Mr. Lam for her, even though he had no obligation to do so. </p><p>The man who held her hand so gently and almost...reverently? Who actually thought her rice balls were cute and asked for more. Who brought her a muffin just because. Who’d delivered a painting all the way across town for her and asked for nothing more in return than a kiss on the cheek. Who was willing to spend time with her, take her somewhere special to him the night of her birthday. Who’d tried to always be as honest as he could with her. </p><p>The man who apologized for being an ass to her, full stop. No excuses. No turning it back on her. Just admitted he was wrong and apologized. Let her be angry and express it without blaming her or trying to tell her why her emotional response wasn’t the “correct” one. </p><p>The man who’d helped her back to her feet, in more ways than one. He’d stumbled into her path on what had felt like one of the most gut wrenching days in her life, when she’d been at her lowest, feeling the least desirable she ever had. This man who gave her space when she said she needed it. Who helped her relax and breathe again. Who made her feel like she didn’t need to cut off parts of herself to be accepted...or loved. Who made her want to move forward through that door, to push past the fear and step into the unknown.</p><p>The man who had just let slip that she actually meant something to him. Something more than just a friend...maybe? Hopefully?</p><p>No matter how much she kept busy, kept herself running ragged with work and whatever other tasks she could find...Poppy couldn’t keep lying to herself. She’d been focusing on work, double checking and triple checking and constantly going, going, going...so she didn’t have to stop and let any of those confusing, overwhelming, and...hesitantly hopeful thoughts catch up with her. </p><p>Poppy knew Tora had some interest in her, she’d have to be a complete moron to not have noticed. But...love? Her? She was just...short and pudgy and plain. Nothing special, really.</p><p>Their conversation at Regina’s Peak almost immediately reverberated through her mind, refuting that derogatory line of thinking that Julri had spent years carving so painfully across her brain and driven so deeply into her heart. </p><p>
  <em> “And I mean everything I’ve said to ya.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Pfft, so you think I’m pretty?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Jesus, Bobby, just look into your damn mirror and tell me who wouldn’t think so." </em>
</p><p>So he thought she was pretty and told her as much, that was one thing. But love? Her mind just wouldn’t let go of it. Did Tora actually love her? And in what way?</p><p><em> Okay, don't get hung up on that one word, Pops, </em> she admonished herself. <em> He probably doesn't mean it the way you're thinking. He said same way he cares about Quincey. Well...that’s not quite true though, is it? He said he cares for Quincey "almost as much" as me? Argh, what does that even mean?! And don’t forget that Julri used to say he loved you too. And look how that turned out in the end. How many years did you waste trying to shove yourself into a tiny little box for that - that manipulative, ungrateful asshole? No matter what I said or did, it was never good enough. There was always something wrong about the way I dressed or spoke or cooked or just...who I was.  </em></p><p>But Tora? Tora <em> was </em> different, wasn’t he? In every single way, every word and action demonstrated that he genuinely cared about her. It was just...she wasn't sure what to do next, how she should respond to him, not just right this moment but moving forward. </p><p>She was scared to attach herself to the wrong person again, waste more of her time and tears trying to force something to work when she should just walk away. Poppy desperately wished this was like a book where she could flip ahead a few pages, just to make sure everything worked out okay, that the risk to her heart was worth it.</p><p>Love? Her heart still ached from the wounds left behind from her years with Julri. A month and a half wasn't enough time to heal from five years of emotional bullshit, of committing herself to the wrong person simply because she was afraid to be alone. </p><p>But...on the other hand, Poppy liked Tora, liked how he made her feel, liked how he looked at her as if she was beautiful and graceful, liked how he treated her as if she was intrinsically worthy of kindness and love. She liked being close to him. Holding his hand felt like the most natural, comfortable thing in the world. Being with him was just so effortless, she always instinctively let her true self out whenever she was around him. He made her feel like she didn’t have to hide or play down any part of herself.</p><p>He said “Bobby” with the same tenderness and affection as “sweetheart,” and Poppy would be lying if she said she didn’t get a little rush of butterflies fluttering inside her whenever he uttered either word to her. Hell, just the way he said her name, like he enjoyed how it sounded coming off his tongue, made her a little weak in the knees.</p><p>But <em> love? </em> Poppy could definitely say she cared about this man standing in front of her as she fiddled with her purse, absolutely wanted to spend as much time with him as she could...and had certainly enjoyed the chance to kiss him again earlier that day. But she also hadn’t even known him two full months yet. </p><p>She didn’t want to ignore what he’d just said, but she wouldn’t lie to him and pretend she felt exactly the same. Tora had made it clear he wanted her to be honest with him, hadn’t he? </p><p>Poppy could feel all the wounds on her heart that hadn’t managed to stop bleeding yet. She still felt raw, some of the most core parts of herself tender and scarred from years of constant attack and belittling. She really wasn’t ready yet to open her heart that fully again. </p><p>Would Tora be willing to wait until she was?</p><p>She just wanted some time to figure out who she was on her own. She’d spent so many years terrified to be alone, but now all Poppy wanted to know was who she could be standing on her own two feet. Find all the parts of herself that she’d hidden away from the manipulation and constant nitpicking. Embrace herself and shake off the fear of rejection and loneliness that had hounded her for so long. </p><p>Poppy knew she could stay here staring at the contents of her purse all day and still not come to any kind of satisfying resolution. There was hope inside her, excitement, something warm and comforting flickering to life underneath the old scars on her heart. But still...she felt divided, unsure, hesitant….scared. </p><p>Poppy reminded herself she didn’t have to figure it all out right that very second, but she could at least let Tora know she wanted to keep spending time with him. She'd been happy with Quincey wanting to come along for this weekend, but honestly had been thrilled at the prospect of spending almost three full days in Tora's company.</p><p>Poppy pulled her eyes back up to his face, only a few seconds having actually passed as her thoughts had whirled and spun.</p><p>“And I really do enjoy hanging out with you too, Mister Grumpy Pants,” she finally said, gratefully patting his arm and trying not to show how much it'd deeply affected her to hear that Tora did in fact care about her.</p><p>He blinked in response, a brief expression of open vulnerability and...maybe hopeful longing flashing across his face before his usual inscrutable mask settled back into place once again. Poppy swore she saw the faint trace of a blush appear on his cheeks. </p><p>Hmm, so that really had just slipped out without him meaning to say it? Interesting. </p><p>Tora was usually so guarded with his words, the last time she'd heard him speaking this freely had been at their joint birthday party...until she'd put her foot in her mouth and made things needlessly awkward. Why couldn't she bring herself to just simply come out and say she <em> was </em> interested in him but needed some time for her heart to heal first? She’d tripped and stumbled over her words, and it’d felt like she’d only made things more muddled and confused.</p><p>He wasn’t Julri, he wasn’t going to get mad at her for expressing what she needed. Poppy knew that intellectually...but there was still a big part of her that shied away in fear of the expected disapproval and scolding and continual reminders of how she wasn’t measuring up to whoever she was “supposed” to be in his eyes. </p><p>Tora raised an eyebrow and shot her a dour look. “Well, you’d be grumpy too if ya had to put up with that princess’ meddling bullshit as much as I do,” he grumbled, readjusting the bulky garment bags draped across his left arm to get a better grip on them. </p><p>“Oh, I don’t know, Quincey seems to have a certain...enthusiastic charm, don’t you think?” Poppy said, trying to bite back a grin at the impressive disbelieving scowl that immediately sprang to life on Tora’s face.</p><p>“Is that what we’re calling him being an annoying dumbass now? And don’t even try to tell me ‘enthusiastic charm’ was the words ya wanted to use this morning when he was embarrassing the hell out of us,” Tora acerbically bit out.</p><p>“Yeah, okay, fair, but I’m not going to keep ragging on him for it all weekend. We’re here to have fun and relax, remember?” Poppy said.  </p><p>Tora smirked at her. “Nah, I say rag on him as much as ya can, sweetheart. Milk that shit for all it's worth. I can’t get him to do fuck all at this point cuz he doesn’t care what I think about him, but he actually wants to stay on <em> your </em> good side. Ya already got him to agree to buy all our food, so see if ya can get some fancy ass nerd shit or whatever it is ya like out of this before ya let him off the hook completely,” he told her with a completely serious expression.</p><p>Poppy playfully swatted his arm. “Oh, you’re awful! I’m not going to do that! I don’t hold things over people’s heads just to make them buy me stuff,” <span>she said, laughing with amused indignation at his eagerness to mess with Quincey in any way he could.</span></p><p>“So ya only bring up old shit just to guilt trip them with then, huh?” Tora said archly. </p><p>“Just for the ones who deserve it,” she tossed back, blinking her eyes pointedly at him.</p><p>“Damn, Bobby, ya just go straight for the jugular, don’t ya? What’d I just say about feisty and sassy--” Tora started to say before Quincey cut him off as the blonde man popped back over to where they were waiting.</p><p>“Are you guys going to stand there flirting all day or do you want to head up to our suite now?” he said with a smug grin.</p><p>Tora shot the blonde man a sharp glare, and Poppy ducked her head as she felt her cheeks heat up. “More than happy to beat ya ass again today, if that’s what ya really want, Quinceton,” Tora growled, as he stalked towards his pesky little brother. “Ya know damn well I don’t even need to set any of this shit down to do it.” </p><p>Quincey opened his mouth to say something no doubt meant to annoy Tora even more and then seemed to think better of it when he winced as he rubbed the back of his head. “Yes, thank you for that unnecessary reminder, booboo. Not like I could forget with this absolute mountain of bruises already gracing my delicate noggin,” he groused as he shouldered his bags again and headed over to the elevators. </p><p>Poppy couldn’t help smiling at the constant and apparently very normal banter tossed back and forth over her head as they rode up to their room on the top floor. Quincey just kept dancing around outright pissing Tora off, while the dark haired man fought back with a string of invective laden threats to do various kinds of bodily harm to the younger man.</p><p><em> They really are brothers, aren’t they? </em> she amusedly thought to herself as the elevator chimed their arrival. A moment later, Poppy was pleasantly taken aback at the thought that she really hoped this weekend wasn't a one-off. She wanted...more of this. </p><p>A quiet desire bubbled up in her chest as she stepped off the elevator and followed behind the still bickering men. Poppy quietly studied Tora as he narrowed his eyes at Quincey, the blonde man snickering and ducking away out of his reach. They both were so relaxed and just more...free than she usually saw them. Like a weight had lifted off of both of them just a little bit when they’d left Narin City that morning.</p><p>Poppy wanted more opportunities like this, to see this open, unguarded, and freely expressive side of Tora. The person it seemed like he actually was underneath the impassive, intimidating exterior he usually kept firmly in place. And not just for a few days either, but on a regular basis.</p><p>Would that happen if she let the page turn? Or was she just setting herself up for more heartache?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Progress Is Never A Straight Road</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Quincey is sassy and then takes a nap, leaving Tora and Poppy the chance to talk. Tora is all wise and insightful and helps Poppy realize some important things. Julri is an awful piece of shit, but we already knew that.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Song suggestion for this chapter: Version Of Me by Sasha Sloan https://youtu.be/0GvNLxX5nco<br/>All aboard the "Julri deserves to be thrown into a wood chipper" express going non-stop to Julri Is A Manipulative Pencil Necked Assweasel Town.<br/>Welp, here it is, the single longest chapter I have ever written for any of my stories. This thing took me almost a week and clocks in at around 11,300 words. It is now my favorite chapter ever, and I really hope you enjoy it.<br/>As always, peanutbutterandchelly and FawkesFire13 are instrumental in crafting my story. Their insight and feedback makes the Tiger Cubs series so much richer and more detailed.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Almost as soon as they walked into their luxuriously appointed suite, Quincey unceremoniously dropped all his bags in a haphazard pile right in the middle of the floor, loudly announcing he needed a nap as he stretched his arms out wide. He immediately flopped face first onto one of the two king size beds occupying just a small section of the spacious room, happily snuggling into the lavish pile of pillows that had been so artfully arranged against the large, tufted headboard a moment prior.</p><p>Poppy trailed amusedly behind Tora as he kicked the two smallest duffel bags to the side and grumbled, "Fuckin’ goddamn tripping hazards, Quinceton. Ya know damn well we’re right behind ya."</p><p>"Poppy's room is that way," Quincey’s muffled voice informed them, his face still sunk deep into the pillows as he pointed to a door on their left. He popped his head up a second later and smirked over his shoulder at Tora as he said, “And if a couple pieces of luggage is what manages to take down the great Legendary Tiger of Ares Street, you’ve <em> really </em>let yourself go, Honey.”</p><p>Tora’s head snapped up, his shoulders going tight, and for some reason Poppy felt like he wasn’t shooting his friend his usual annoyed glare. Even though she couldn't see his face, the thought flickered through her mind that Tora seemed almost...sad...weary. Like a dark cloud had just drifted over him.</p><p>A moment later, whatever she’d glimpsed was gone as he abruptly flung Quincey’s costume bag right on top of him, eliciting a surprised grunt that morphed into a pained moan as the bulky weight smacked squarely into the back of the blonde man’s already tender head.</p><p>“Shut ya trap, Princess. Didn’t ya say we were leaving all that bullshit behind this weekend?” Tora growled as he ignored Quincey’s indignant whines of protest and draped his own costume bag much more carefully across a plush, tufted wingback chair. He shifted Poppy's costume bag over to his right arm to slide the two duffel bags off his left shoulder.</p><p>She couldn't help noting the juxtaposition of their bags briefly hanging together from his hand: his a muted olive green, probably something pulled at random out of a bin at one of those discount army surplus stores, while hers had a riotous pattern of colorful, wide eyed cartoon owls and abstract flowers all over it, a gift from her Granny right before she’d moved to Narin City. </p><p>They really were night and day, weren't they? And yet...somehow the expanse of calming, sage green felt right at home next to that eye popping explosion of color. The two seemingly disparate at first glance but actually quite complementary, balancing the other out. Poppy blinked as she suddenly realized there was almost the exact same shade of green threading through the busy pattern on her bag. And now that she really looked at it, the color wasn’t a drab, utilitarian camouflage at all but more like a cup of really good green tea, the kind you drank on a chilly, rainy day to warm up from the inside out.</p><p>Tora briskly set his duffel on top of his garment bag, and then slipped her overnight bag onto his shoulder once again. He shook out the wrinkles in her costume bag and efficiently arranged it back across his left forearm as he continued frowning at Quincey.</p><p>“And if we’re gonna toss around stupid ass nicknames, I got a whole list of ones for you I’m sure Poppylan would <em> love </em>to hear,” the dark haired man said threateningly. </p><p>As he spoke, Tora turned and stepped over to offer his free hand to Poppy as she started picking her way over the pile of cheetah print luggage now scattered across the entryway floor. The gentle, almost tentative hold on her fingers belied his gruff irritated tone directed at the man now writhing around on the bed.</p><p>This was the first time since their party, that Poppy was aware of, that Tora had intentionally reached out to touch her, his gaze flicking up to meet hers right as their fingers made contact. The silent question in his eyes was plainly evident, and Poppy gratefully gripped his hand, squeezing just a little tighter than necessary to let him know she welcomed his help. But it was more than just that though, wasn’t it? She was honestly a bit embarrassed at herself over how much she was enjoying the feel of his hand in hers again.</p><p>“Owwie, goddamnit, Tora! Why are you so meeeean?” Quincey sniffled as he sat up and pushed the garment bag off himself. “Who got your tail all in a knot today?” he groused, his hands already reaching up to smooth back his still immaculate hair.</p><p>Both Tora and Poppy swiveled around to level disbelieving, reproachful looks at the quickly chagrined man. At least, she assumed Tora had a similar expression on his face based on how fast their self-appointed matchmaker slunk down into the bed under the weight of their combined glower.</p><p>Poppy’s stomach did a little flip as she realized Tora hadn’t let go of her hand. In fact he was doing the opposite, his fingers curling more snugly around her palm as they stared Quincey down. She really was trying to ignore how good it felt to have their hands intertwined like this again, but the butterflies springing to nervously excited life inside her ribcage were proof of how miserably she was failing at that. </p><p>Good lord, how did this man manage to instantly melt her into a stupidly giddy, horny puddle simply by holding her freakin’ <em> hand? </em> He wasn’t even actively trying to <em> do </em> anything to her right now, his attention completely focused on glaring at Quincey. Tora was barely touching her, and Poppy could already feel the urge rapidly rising to just snuggle up against him, bury her face in his broad, muscular chest and just inhale that delightfully distracting smell that was so enticingly <em> him. </em> The same scent that still faintly lingered on the grey jacket hanging in her closet - the one she’d pulled out and worn around her apartment more than a few times in the past month and a half.</p><p>She was acutely aware of every passing touch, each brief moment of contact they’d inadvertently shared over the past three weeks. Tora was clearly trying to be respectful and give her space, but there’d been moments where he’d just seemed to instinctively reach out without thinking. </p><p>Putting his hand on her back as he opened the car door for her, the palm of his hand settling on her shoulder as he steadied her when she almost backed into him at a work event, his fingers lingering for an extra beat on hers when he passed out coffee Quincey had brought in for everyone at Giant Goldfish. The way he kept getting closer to her at Fawkes Tail until he’d casually and apparently accidentally settled his hand on her hip. How he’d caught her and pulled her so tightly against him that morning as they tumbled to the ground. The warmth radiating off of him as she pressed herself into him, the feel of his lips on hers again, the way his hand had gripped her waist. </p><p>Yeah, she had it bad, didn’t she? </p><p>This was <em> exactly </em>why she’d been trying to keep herself so completely occupied with work. Tora just seemed to take over her head and heart anytime she paused long enough to let the tall, dark, and far too handsome for his own good man saunter into her thoughts. Poppy internally shook herself, quickly scrambling away from the feelings doing their best to spiral from dopey excitement into flustering arousal that she could already feel bringing a wave of flushed heat to her cheeks. Hopefully if either Quincey or Tora noticed any redness spreading across her face, they’d just think it was lingering irritation at the blonde man’s antics from earlier that day.</p><p>“Okay, fine, yes, that was indeed a stupid question,” their antagonist was saying as Poppy wrestled her brain to fully focus back onto the conversation at hand. Quincey apparently had at least enough presence of mind to appear somewhat sheepishly contrite as he spoke. “I’m just going to stop talking now before I get myself into trouble,” he muttered as he pulled a couple pillows protectively over himself.</p><p>“Yeah, a little late for that, Quincey boy,” Tora grumbled. “Ya already dug yerself a nice big hole with ya bullshit this morning. Ya know Poppylan’s a hell of a lot nicer than I am even on her worst days, but congrats, cuz ya actually managed to get the hamster good and pissed off today. Keep being an annoying dick, and she’s gonna find out why ya have a waterproof mattress pad on ya bed,” he shot off over his shoulder, her hand still clasped in his as he turned and gently tugged her towards her room for the weekend. </p><p>Quincey lowered the pillow from his face and narrowed his eyes at the dark haired man. “You wouldn’t!” he hissed.</p><p>Tora paused and made a show of pointedly looking away from the blonde man and down at Poppy. His face momentarily hidden from Quincey’s view, his mouth curved up into a wicked, mischievous grin as he briefly made eye contact with her. His golden eyes danced with devilish humor, and then he winked at her, pulling on what she had quickly come to think of as his mafia face. It was like watching him bring up a shield, the mask he normally settled into place when he needed to tuck away...maybe even to protect?...the sweet, silly, tender parts of himself. </p><p>Today though, it was clearly just to mess with his younger brother, as his eyes hadn’t fully lost their amused sparkle, and Poppy could still make out the traces of his silent laughter faintly tugging at the corners of his mouth. But usually when she saw that flat look washing all emotion out of his features, it meant Tora was going into work mode, donning the persona hardened, dangerous thugs deferentially called “Big Bro Tora.” It was like watching him slip on a well worn jacket when he drew on the side of himself that, unwillingly or not, had somehow gained enough notoriety in the dark, seedy underbelly of Narin City to hold the title of Legendary Tiger of Ares Street. </p><p>She knew the teasing, playful, affectionate man currently standing in front of her was not the Tora who’d dropped off the face of the earth two weekends ago, going completely silent for four days. The Friday evening before his birthday, Poppy had texted him a few times and then worked up the courage to call him twice that Saturday after she’d sent a couple more messages. While the party at the club had been fun, she’d wanted to hang out on his actual birthday, just the two of them, to make him feel as special as he’d done for her the night of her birthday. She’d hoped to finally get the chance to talk alone again and clear the air a bit about what she’d stumbled over trying to tell him that evening at Fallen Angels….but her calls had gone straight to voicemail, her texts staying unread until the day <em> after </em>his birthday. </p><p>Quincey had tried to downplay it, blithely telling her that Tora was simply away on a time consuming but mundane job and that he couldn’t check his phone until he was off the clock...but Poppy had seen the worry plain as day in his normally cheerful blue eyes. She’d caught sight of him furtively checking his phone several times that Monday, his eyebrows pinched together in concern as he worriedly chewed on the end of his thumb and texted when he thought no one was looking.</p><p>Whatever awfulness Tora had been ordered to take part in, Poppy had at least consoled herself with the thought of him returning home to her little bag of gifts hanging on his front door. She’d tried not to overthink it or dwell on whether the small things she could afford would be seen as stupid or childish. <em> Tora isn’t Julri. Tora is absolutely nothing like Julri, </em> she’d firmly reminded herself over and over again as she’d marched up the six flights to his apartment after she’d gotten off work on the 30th. </p><p>But she’d still almost chickened out multiple times, hesitating and dithering on the stairs more than once. She’d barely managed to not lose her resolve right at the end, after she’d knocked a few times just to make sure Tora wasn’t at home. There’d been that small, quiet hope that he was simply sleeping on his couch and just happened to have his phone turned off for whatever reason or that he’d broken yet another phone, that maybe she’d get to see him after all and wish him a happy birthday. </p><p>But Poppy had finally forced herself to leave the bag when it was clear no one would be coming to the door. She’d quickly scrambled back down the stairs before she could second guess herself any further and give in to the almost overpowering urge to snatch the bag off his door knob, scurry home and pretend like she’d never been there at all. </p><p>The following morning, she’d breathed a big sigh of relief, in more ways than one, when she’d woken up to see a few texts from Tora waiting for her. If the timestamp on his messages was any indication, he’d gotten home right as the sun started rising for the day. He’d first sent her a picture of his hand squeezing the tiger keychain, its eye fully bulging out, followed by a second picture of a pink sticky note in the palm of his large hand. He’d scribbled, “Thanks Bobby” across it, along with his attempt at drawing a smiling cartoony tiger face. A third message had contained a picture of another sticky note, this time stuck on the back of his fisted hand, that said, “And damn right it’s a word, Miss Editor.” She could almost hear his cutely dorky, self satisfied little “pfft pfft” laugh, something tight around her heart releasing at seeing the delight he’d gotten out of her very simple birthday presents. </p><p>The next time they’d crossed paths at the office, he’d mentioned nothing about his absence beyond muttering to her about his “mother fuckin’ boss being a controlling dick as usual. Likes to pile on the bullshit just cuz he knows he can.”</p><p>Poppy wasn’t stupid though - she knew there was a big chunk of Tora’s life and who he was that she knew nothing about, that he held back from sharing with her. He’d said he would tell her more “some other time,” but….that still hadn’t happened yet. She wasn’t sure how to broach the subject, and there was a part of her that honestly wasn’t sure if she actually wanted to know the full truth. Once her eyes were opened, she wouldn't be able to close them again. She would no longer have the option to use her ignorance as an excuse to look the other way than to think too hard about the kind of life Tora led.</p><p>He’d so casually teased her about dope dealers that night at the club, and later in the evening she’d hung out for hours and shared several rounds of drinks with some of his thuglet crew at the bar; she wondered what could be so awful about his life beyond her knowing he was somehow tangled up in the mafia that made him that reluctant to talk to her. Whatever Tora’s position was in the Balthuman Organization, Poppy knew it most assuredly didn’t have anything to do with their non-profit work or corporate mergers that made it out onto the internet.</p><p>He’d only had to level a single, silent look at the bouncers the night of their party after he’d cut right to the front of the line with his entourage, and they’d all been immediately admitted without any hassle. She’d seen how the thuglets fawned all over Tora at the club, how they flinched and snapped to attention when he spoke to them. It was like watching excited little puppies fall over themselves trying to impress the big dog, doing their best to gain his recognition and approval. </p><p>Poppy knew men like that, people involved in some flavor of the criminal lifestyle, didn’t idolize the Tora who gleefully teased and shamelessly flirted with her. They weren’t trying to impress the man who pinched her cheeks and called her a hamster, who brought her muffins and delivered heartfelt paintings for her across town. The person who ate cute animal rice balls with appreciative enthusiasm and readily gave her piggy back rides was not the one they were trying to show off for. </p><p>In the weeks since their party at Fallen Angels, Poppy had caught glimpses here and there of that other Tora: overhearing him give quiet, terse orders on the phone as she stepped out of the conference room at the office; the way he kept his gaze continually sweeping in all directions and never took direct routes when he was driving her and Quincey places; the fact that he seemed to just instinctually enter a room first to scan it before he would step to the side to let her through. She wasn’t sure if he was even aware of how he protectively blocked the doorway with his whole body until he was satisfied it was safe for her to enter. </p><p>Poppy had taken enough boxing lessons to recognize when Tora subtly slid into a fighting stance whenever he sensed potential adversaries in his vicinity: the angle of his shoulders would shift to face towards the perceived threat, his weight settling into the balls of his feet, his arms hanging free and loose as he readied to snap them up at a moment’s notice. She might not have noticed if she didn’t study the man so closely, trying to parse the emotions he tended to keep locked down and tucked out of sight when he was in public. She'd picked up a lot over the last few weeks as she did her best to covertly observe his many subtle moods and body language, mulling over the puzzle that was Tora, attempting to sort out what it was he felt for her….while very much trying to ignore the confusing maelstrom of what it was she felt for him.</p><p>And yes, okay, maybe she just liked looking at his face...and the rest of him too, for that matter. Erdene’s comment about Tora being a “majestic, fuckable stallion,” kept echoing back through her mind. While the comically randy comment made her giggle at her friend’s unabashed sexual frankness, it also was very true. He <em> was </em>irresistible, though it wasn’t simply his good looks that meant she couldn’t stop her gaze from being instinctually drawn to him whenever he was around. Poppy was always keenly aware of Tora’s nearby presence, no matter where he was in relation to her - it was like being near a blazing bonfire on a cold dark night, the comforting heat of the flames warming her skin even if she was facing away from it. </p><p>She brought her focus back to his face now, all traces of good natured teasing hidden under an impassive expression as Tora directed his now stern gaze over at Quincey, pinning the man to the bed with the intensity in his eyes.</p><p>He didn’t say anything for several long seconds, just arched an eyebrow at the blonde man as he stared him down. “Try me,” Tora finally said, calling Quincey’s bluff. He blinked slowly at his younger brother, the corners of his mouth curling up just the slightest amount into a small, taunting smile.</p><p>“Ugh! Why do you have to be such a creepy bastard?!” Quincey shrieked at him, flinging a pillow across the room right at Tora’s face as he huddled on the bed. </p><p>Tora effortlessly snatched the pillow out of the air before it got anywhere near him and chucked it straight back at the blonde man, his hand already returned to clasping Poppy’s before she’d even had the chance to so much as think about reacting to the incoming projectile. </p><p>Quincey deftly embraced the pillow flying at him and let its momentum carry him down to flop backwards onto the bed once more. He sprawled out, throwing an arm over his eyes. </p><p>“Okay, you’ve fully proven your strong manly prowess and shown off your freakishly fast reflexes to the lady, Honey. Now be nice and show her to her room, and let me die here in peace,” the blonde man said, waving his other hand in a shooing motion towards them. “I can’t be a suave, dashing bard tomorrow if I’ve got horrendous, dark circles under my eyes. I need to get all the beauty sleep I possibly can today, so I’m able to fully maximize my enjoyment of our grand weekend adventure.” </p><p>“Tch, gotta make sure he can fully maximize being a pain in the ass,” Tora muttered under his breath to Poppy, making her snort and bite back a giggle as he rolled his eyes. He directed his attention back over to the supposedly exhausted man as he grumbled more loudly, “Yeah, whatever, Quince. Just move ya shit so it’s not in right in the middle of the goddamn floor. Not like ya don’t have enough fuckin’ room in this place. My whole damn apartment could fit in here, with space left over.”</p><p>Quincey grunted in acknowledgement of Tora’s words, but made no move to get up as the dark haired man released Poppy’s hand and pulled open the door to her room. There was a part of her that sighed mournfully at how noticeably empty her hand felt, and she had to hold herself back from grabbing for his hand again.</p><p>Poppy blinked for half a second at seeing another door behind the first, and then realized as she stepped through the doorway a moment after Tora that her equally extravagant room was a suite in its own right. She guessed the hotel didn’t often have guests who wanted to book both palatial rooms at once, so the doors between them were able to be locked from either side and the two could be rented out separately. Her suite was just a bit smaller than the one Tora and Quincey were staying in, with only a single king size bed occupying the space.</p><p>Poppy snorted amusedly to herself - there was nothing “only” about a king bed or anything else about their lavish accommodations for that matter. Quincey certainly hadn’t skimped on putting them up for the weekend in style, that was for sure. She comfortably slept on a full size mattress at home, so she was going to feel like she was floating on an ocean of plush pillows and high thread count sheets for the next two nights. She trailed her fingers over an incredibly soft, fluffy throw blanket folded up at the foot of the bed; she couldn’t wait to wrap herself up in it later that night as she broke into more snacks and maybe watched an old movie on TV before she fell asleep on, what was even for her, a ridiculous amount of pillows. </p><p>Since the option to work had been completely removed for the next few days, Poppy was just going to embrace the down time as much as she possibly could. She knew she wouldn’t get another chance to so completely unplug like this anytime soon, especially a trip that she didn’t end up having to pay a cent for. She'd already learned in the month they'd worked together that it was absolutely useless to protest or attempt to pay for anything when Quincey was in full-on generosity mode, so she was just going to be grateful and take full advantage of relaxing in a luxurious place like this. </p><p>And was that the edge of a big fluffy robe she spied hanging near what she assumed was the bathroom door? She mentally giggled at the thought of wrapping herself in multiple soft, fuzzy layers later that evening, creating a cozy little nest of blankets and pillows to burrow into. Maybe she should see if Tora wanted to feed her some grapes while she was at it, she snickered to herself. The mental image of the dark haired man hand feeding her grapes while she lounged in extravagant comfort brought a silly grin to her face, and Poppy had to roll her eyes at her runaway imagination. That was a scene right out of one of Quincey’s books. Who was the one getting dramatically carried away now?</p><p>Anyways, this was far and away a nicer retreat than she’d originally planned to have, that was for darn sure. She’d scraped together just enough extra money to afford a train ticket to Moonbright and to pay for her admission to the festival, with a handful of dollars left for a meal and maybe one or two small souvenirs. She’d planned to catch a ride to and from the fest with family friends who lived in Moonbright, paying them back for their willingness to let her tag along with a plate of homemade cookies. </p><p>But with Quincey now bankrolling the whole dang weekend and transportation taken care of, Poppy suddenly had excess money available to pick up a few gifts for friends and family for later in the year. Her Granny’s birthday was coming up in a couple months, and even though it was only April, she also hoped to find at least a couple Christmas presents at the festival with her now expanded gift buying budget. </p><p>Julri used to make fun of her for shopping for Christmas gifts so early, but Poppy loved being able to give nice, meaningful presents to the people she cared about. If she spread it out over the course of the year, she could actually afford to give thoughtful gifts to everyone on her list. And this holiday season, she knew she’d have at least a few new additions to that list to shop for. At that thought, her gaze involuntarily drifted over to settle on Tora’s broad back as he strode across the room to offload her things in his arms.</p><p>Well, new additions along with one notable name crossed off forever. Good riddance to bad rubbish anyways. </p><p>Her ex-boyfriend had never appreciated the time and effort she’d spent trying to surprise him and show that she cared unless it was attached to an ever increasing dollar amount. And even then, it was always backhanded compliments and manipulative excuses for why he didn’t like whatever she’d given him, whether she bought or tried to make a gift for him. So often her small tokens of affection were dismissed out of hand as childish and silly, not even worth so much as a “thank you” in his eyes. And he pretty much always convinced her that any gift she actually bought, he needed to return so he could use the money for the thing she should have somehow magically known he wanted more.</p><p>But heaven forbid Poppy buy him a gift card, because then she was just slacking off and not trying hard enough. It still made her brain hurt to think about the continuous hoops she jumped through for that ungrateful, cheating asswipe. She had tried, so very hard, but nothing she did ever seemed to be good enough for his ever shifting standards, the goal line always pushed back just a little further out of reach.</p><p>And whenever Julri deigned to actually give her a gift (which had become increasingly rare in the last couple years), it was always when other people would be around to see her open it, and he had to make a point each time of humble bragging about how much money he’d spent on her. As if the dollar amount was the defining feature of whether a gift counted as being good or not. Poppy couldn’t recall a single present from her ex that had focused on what really mattered to her - just being able to spend quality, uninterrupted time together with the people she loved. But no, instead she was supposed to be excited and grateful for gifts that seemed more about showing off to his friends what a fantastic boyfriend he was than actually making her feel loved and cherished.</p><p>For goodness sake, she’d bought the man a damn <em> scooter </em>right before she’d moved to Narin City, when she’d been scraping together every last penny she could for the security deposit on her apartment. It’d been a final attempt to appease his foul temper and constant pouting over her leaving Moonbright, a grand gesture of thanks for him “allowing” her to “leave him behind” and move to the big city. She’d been trying to show him that their relationship truly mattered to her, that she wasn’t just going to dump him once she settled into her new life in the city. </p><p>Whereas Julri hadn’t given Poppy so much as a congratulatory card when she’d landed the job at Giant Goldfish. Instead he’d questioned whether she could hack it living in the sprawling bustling city, noting more than once how scary a big metropolis like that would be for a naive, country girl like her. But that time she hadn’t let him talk her out of what she wanted - she wouldn’t be deterred in pursuing her dream.</p><p>And then once Poppy had actually moved to Narin City, Julri kept saying he’d visit her eventually...but never actually followed through. First it was that he was too busy at work, then he already had plans with his friends that weekend or there was a game on that he didn’t want to miss, and why didn’t she just come back and see him anyways since it was such a hassle for him to get to the train station and navigate his way to her apartment. He'd continue to press, saying she was the one with the big shot editor position, so clearly she had more money to spare - no consideration given for her now much higher cost of living. He’d always whine and moan about how long it’d been since they’d seen each other until she finally caved and ponied up the money for a ticket back to Moonbright.</p><p>Poppy had spent years hand waving and justifying Julri’s poor behavior to her friends, to her family...to herself. She’d been trying to work up the courage to break things off with that manipulative, ungrateful jerkwad for longer than she cared to admit, always chickening out at the last minute and swallowing the words she knew she needed to eventually say. Instead she’d just continued twisting herself into an increasingly unrecognizable pretzel to fit into the tiny, suffocating box he’d expected her to occupy. </p><p>And there was that insistent scared voice that also held her back from cutting her losses, reminding Poppy that if she broke up with Julri, there was the possibility she might wind up alone forever. Maybe it was better to settle for the relationship she had, even if it wasn’t that ideal, than head out into the world and never find anyone else willing to be with her.</p><p>Julri had so warped her view of herself that Poppy had eventually come to think she didn’t even deserve him, that he was doing her some great <em> favor </em>by deigning to be her boyfriend. She’d ignored her intuition telling her something was wrong for so long, that this wasn’t what love looked like, that she shouldn’t feel afraid or hesitant to be around the man who claimed to love her, that eventually she couldn’t even hear that part of herself crying out anymore.</p><p>Catching him red handed in the act of cheating had finally been the push Poppy needed to walk away and not look back. She was angry at him, yes - deeply hurt and betrayed by Julri’s callous selfishness, his flippant disregard for the five years they’d spent together, like all that time meant less than nothing to him. But she was more furious with herself - for her willing blindness to his glaring faults, for putting up with all his shit and increasingly manipulative behavior, for taking so damn long to work up the strength to take that step and close the door firmly behind her. </p><p>God, how long had she felt so alone, so unloved, so utterly unwanted in that relationship?</p><p>And what was <em> wrong </em>with her that she had put up with it for so long?!</p><p>A cold, dark voice hissed at the back of her mind, <em> You stayed because you know that’s all you deserve. You’re nothing special. Nothing worth celebrating. No one wants to hear the inane, childish things that dwell at the center of your heart. You need to grow up, and stop being such a weak, pathetic thing. </em></p><p>Poppy’s hand curled into a tight fist where it was resting on the throw blanket, her fingernails biting into her palm as a swirl of bitter anger and agitated fear flared hot and sharp in her gut. It was quickly followed by an icy, suffocating wave of self doubt and sorrowful regret as she watched Tora carefully hang her costume bag up in the large closet and then set her duffel bag on a low bench near the bed.</p><p>He was just so kind and thoughtful towards her. Considerate. Responsive. Gentle. Respectful. Tender. Grateful. Playful. Sweet. Everything Julri wasn’t. The two men were so far removed from each other in how they treated her, how they spoke to her, it was like Tora was on a completely different planet. </p><p>He didn’t push her for more than she was ready for. He listened, paid attention to the little details. Somehow knew it was her birthday and had been willing to make it special. Asked for kisses but didn’t push or whine when she said no. Validated her thoughts and emotions. Laughed with her rather than at her expense. He’d told her she was cute, pretty. Hell, the man apparently even noticed how she did her hair of all things! </p><p>Would she be so hesitant with Tora if Julri hadn’t so thoroughly and completely fucked up her sense of who she was, if she hadn’t had her self esteem slowly chipped away one judgmental remark at time? Would she still be questioning every thought and feeling she had about her magnetic attraction to this man in front of her if she hadn’t first wasted so many years with that manipulative, controlling shithead? </p><p>Would she ever feel whole and confident in herself again, or had Julri managed to irreparably break her? Some days, Poppy wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to once more like the person she saw staring back at her from the mirror. Even if he did make her heart excitedly flutter and brought happy little butterflies into her stomach, Tora deserved someone far less messed up than her. It seemed like he had enough crap going on in his life, Poppy didn’t want to add her inane problems and stupid hang-ups on top of whatever else he had to deal with. </p><p>She was startled from her thoughts when a finger suddenly tapped lightly against her left shoulder blade. She'd been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn't even realized Tora was right behind her.</p><p>"Earth to Bobby," he quietly chuckled. “Just asked ya if yer okay? If the princess is getting to be too much, just let me know and I’ll give him as many knocks to the head as it takes ‘til he stops. Quincey doesn’t always know when he needs to lay off his bullshit. The man acts like the sun rises out of his own ass some days,” he told her drolly, plopping down to sit on the edge of the bed next to where Poppy was standing. </p><p>Tora gave a relieved sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck, rolling his head from side to side a few times and then stretched his arms overhead. “Not that driving is really all that tiring, but it’s still nice to get outta the car and put my feet up for a bit. What's really draining is being stuck in such a small space for hours with that annoying, spoiled dipshit,” he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder in Quincey’s general direction. “Was glad to have a much nicer, and a hell of a lot cuter, passenger riding shotgun today. Thanks for not fuckin’ around with the radio and forcing us to listen to whatever that god awful shit Quince is currently into,” Tora said, leaning back on his elbows and grinning up playfully at her.</p><p>A moment later, his smile fell away as she still didn’t respond. Poppy was fighting to keep tears from welling up in her eyes and knew if she tried to speak, her voice would tremble and crack with the emotions that had decided <em> right now </em> was the perfect moment to break free and go running amok inside her ribcage. It felt like a big bubble stuffed full with a writhing, tangled, knotty mess five years in the making had just exploded inside her chest, her heart practically bursting from the sudden influx of unprocessed feelings.</p><p>Tora’s eyebrows dropped and snapped together as he took in the tension she couldn’t keep off her face. “Shit, sweetheart, didn’t realize he was bothering ya that bad. Hang on, lemme go kick his fuckin’ annoying ass for ya right the hell now,” he growled, starting to push himself off the bed. He immediately stilled though when Poppy put a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“It’s fine, Tora, I’m not upset at Quincey,” she muttered, keeping her gaze directed down at the green throw blanket she was still driving her tightly fisted hand down into. She made a concerted effort to uncurl the clenched fist, spreading her fingers out wide over the soft fabric. “Yeah, he was really embarrassing this morning and kinda whiny on the way here, but that’s not what’s bothering me. So don’t go punching him just because I’m being a big, dumb crybaby right now,” Poppy said, proud that she managed to keep her voice from wavering until right at the very end. </p><p>She dared to bring her eyes up to Tora’s concerned face, which she immediately realized was a mistake. Poppy swallowed hard around the constricting knot that had suddenly risen in her throat. Tora was a lot closer than she’d realized, his face level with hers as he leaned slightly into her hand still resting on the front of his shoulder. His intense amber eyes swam with multiple emotions that she couldn’t parse out as he worriedly searched her face.</p><p>“Ya upset at me?” he softly asked her after a moment.</p><p>Poppy furrowed her brow at him. “Why would I be mad at you, Tora?” she asked in confusion.</p><p>He shrugged. “Dunno, just wanted to make sure I didn’t go and do something dumb without realizing it,” he said nonchalantly, though she felt his muscles loosen under her fingers as she shook her head at him, confirming he wasn’t the cause of the tears brimming in her eyes. </p><p>“So if it’s not the princess and it’s not me, then what’s eating at ya, sweetheart?” he asked after a couple silent seconds had passed. “Remember, me and rage go way back. I know anger when I see it, Bobby, and <em> you </em> are angry as fuck right now,” he said, gently tapping one finger just over her heart.</p><p>Poppy sucked in a breath and then scrubbed vigorously at her face, trying to push the rising tears back with the heels of her palms. She left her hands over her eyes - if she made eye contact again with Tora right then, she knew she’d just fall apart into a blubbering mess. And that was definitely <em> not </em>how she wanted to start this weekend off.</p><p>“Uh, I guess I’m kinda angry at myself,” she mumbled, wishing she could escape into the darkness behind her eyelids.</p><p>“Ya that mad...just at <em>yourself</em>?” Tora said, the disbelief evident in his voice as he emphasized the last word. </p><p>“...Okay, and my stupid shitty ex too,” she said after a moment. Poppy could feel the tears starting to leak out as she gave voice to the memories and related hurt that was tumbling through her head and throwing her into such disarray. She bit her bottom lip, trying to get her tumultuous emotions back under control. </p><p>She heard Tora shift on the bed and then suddenly felt his fingers gently curl around her wrists. He waited a moment and then slowly pulled her hands away from her face. She squeezed her eyes even more tightly shut, trying to hold back the welling tears.</p><p>“Poppylan. Hey, look at me,” he murmured, gingerly squeezing her wrists. </p><p>Poppy reluctantly cracked her eyelids open, haltingly bringing her gaze back up to Tora’s face. She felt a thin track of tears drip down both her cheeks as she met soft golden eyes that were currently full of tender concern for her. Goddamnit, it felt like he could see straight through her. </p><p>Tora had just carefully put her things away after carting her stuff around and driving for almost four hours, all for a weekend trip to a festival he was only going to because of her. He’d managed to get three straight days off from his mafia duties, which sounded like it was an even more rare feat for him to finagle than it was for her to take time off from work; and he was choosing to use that valuable free time to go to the “nerd fest.” In costume. With her...just because she’d asked him to. This impromptu group vacation with him and Quincey was an unexpected yet very welcome chance to relax, unwind, have some fun, hang out, and maybe get to know each other a little better. </p><p>She should be kicking back on the massive plush bed for a quick nap, maybe go exploring downstairs to see what other amenities the hotel had available, or making her way out to wander and window shop on the town’s main street. But no, instead they’d barely gotten in the door and here she was breaking down and crying openly in front of Tora over the past and the things she desperately wished she could change. Poppy was painfully aware just then of how damn blind she’d been, how much time and effort she’d wasted trying to be someone she wasn’t for a man who didn’t give a single shit about her in the end...and how utterly broken she felt about it now.</p><p>There was a part of her shrieking at her to run, to hide, to get away from being in such a vulnerable and exposed position in front of the one person she so very much wanted to think the best of her. Far too many moments from her years with Julri flashed through her mind’s eye, reminding her how dangerous it was to bring out those fragile, broken parts she held so protectively at the center of herself. To be seen for who she truly was...anytime she’d tried to just be her genuine self over the last five years it’d been thrown back in her face in one way or another.</p><p>Tora slid his fingers down her wrists, wrapping his large, warm hands around her balled up fists as he quietly said, “For the record, Bobby, yer abso-fuckin-lutely not dumb or a crybaby, so stop beating yerself up for something yer not. Ya never need to hide what yer feeling from me, okay? I hope ya know by now I’m not gonna judge ya for it. Ya need to talk about something, I’m here to listen. Might not have much to offer ya in return, and I can’t promise I’m gonna have any good advice for ya, but yer more than welcome to rant or whatever the hell ya need to do to get that shit off ya chest.”</p><p>Tora leaned closer towards Poppy and lightly tugged her to step over just a bit so she was standing right in front of him instead of off to the side. He released her hands to cup her face, carefully wiping away the wetness on her cheeks with his thumbs. </p><p>“Though maybe hold off on the biting thing today since I wasn’t the one who fucked up this time around, alright?” he said, one of his dimples briefly flashing at her as he offered up a gently teasing little grin.</p><p>Poppy huffed out a short shaky laugh, a genuine smile briefly curving up her mouth. Her face fell a moment later as she dropped her gaze away from his piercing, far too perceptive eyes; the wave of emotions currently doing its best to burst through her ribcage was too much for her to keep under control or shove back down. There was dark, shameful stuff mixed in there that she didn’t want anyone, but especially not Tora, to see. It was like the man could see right to the center of her, and she was afraid that he wouldn’t be all that impressed by what he found there. <em> She </em>certainly didn’t like the snarled mess she had yet to deal with at the core of herself.</p><p>Tora gently angled her face back up, not letting her hide from his gaze. “It doesn’t do ya any good to keep carrying that kinda weight around, sweetheart. And it’s definitely not doing ya any favors to just shove it down while ya try to stay moving so much just to distract yerself from the fact that somethin’ still hurts,” he told her in a soft, serious tone. </p><p>He raised an eyebrow at the surprise that must have flashed across her face. “Doesn’t take a genius to notice ya been keeping yerself pretty damn busy the last few weeks, Bobby. Ya tired as fuck but keep going back for more. Something’s bothering ya, and ya need to stop fuckin’ running from it before it blows up on ya and comes out sideways. That shit needs a release, and speaking from personal experience, if ya don’t give it one, it’ll just find a way out on its own when ya really don’t want it to,” he murmured to her, tapping one of his thumbs over the still damp trail her tears had left on that side of her face to emphasize his point.</p><p>How could Tora read her like an open book after knowing her for such a short time, when Julri had acted like she was such an unnavigable enigma even after multiple years together? They had even lived together for a time, for heaven's sake! Had he <em> ever </em>actually wanted to get to know who she really was? Her feelings were always treated like such an annoying inconvenience by her ex. He’d made Poppy feel crazy, like she couldn’t trust herself, like there was something innately wrong and undesirable about her that he was just so noble and good for being willing to put up with. She’d gotten the message loud and clear in the five years they were together that any genuine emotional outpouring of hers was to be quickly squelched and swept back under the rug so as not to cause a stir. </p><p>“I - I, uh...” Poppy stammered before she swallowed hard and nervously chewed on her upper lip, searching to find the words that would even begin to adequately describe the heavy weight sitting like a rock in the middle of her chest. She was so used to having to bite back expressing her unfiltered thoughts, that now that she was actually offered the chance, she didn’t really know how to verbalize what was going on inside her.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she finally whispered, averting her eyes from Tora’s, looking off to the left, escaping the golden eyes she couldn’t bear to see fill with disappointment and dismissive disdain for her. <em> I’m sorry you have to deal with my stupid hang-ups yet again. I’m sorry for not being able to just spit out a simple sentence for you, for letting my emotions get away from me. I wish it wasn’t so difficult for me to tell you about the fear and doubt that wraps around my heart like a vise. I’m just scared that if I show you what’s inside of me, you won’t like what you see...and that you’ll react the same way Julri did. </em></p><p>“For what? Being human and having a fuckin’ heart?” Tora asked incredulously, bringing her self-debasing train of thought to an immediate halt, his tone full of genuine confusion at her words. “Ya got nothing to be sorry for, Bobby. Don’t apologize for crying or being angry or getting pissed off at the shit that obviously still hurts like hell. Ya got a big heart in that tiny little hamster body of yours, and I’m guessing it gets pretty full sometimes, yeah? It’s none of my business to tell ya how ya should feel, but, damn, sweetheart, ya sure as hell need to let that shit out before it piles up on itself and destroys ya,” he told her, his tone filled with insistent yet gentle reproof.</p><p>It was becoming a familiar refrain from him, wasn’t it? Tora’s words from a few weeks ago echoed back through her head, <em> “Listen, I’m not gonna tell ya how you should and shouldn’t be feeling. S’ not my business to do that anyway. So just...let it out.” </em></p><p>Contrary to the fear filling her head with visions of him telling her to grow up and stop wasting his time with her asinine problems, Tora had never been dismissive of who she was or what she felt. He didn’t try to tell her all the reasons why the hurt she was feeling wasn’t actually that big of a deal. Hell, the man kept encouraging her to just freely express herself, even when her ire was directed at <em> him. </em> He didn’t seem to shy away from the discomfort of conflict, calling her out when he thought it was warranted and letting her do the same in return.</p><p>In that moment, Poppy realized she had put far more effort into changing herself than her ex ever had bothered to expend in getting to know the real her. She’d spent so long trimming away one aspect of her personality after another, tucking away expressions of herself that she was lectured about for being “too immature,” dropping interests and hobbies that made her happy because she should be focused on “more important” things. Just making herself less of a hassle to deal with, less of a burden for Julri to be around. </p><p>And it was always something with her ex-boyfriend, wasn’t it? Some supposed fault or flaw of hers that she could never see until he so helpfully and cuttingly pointed it out for her. And especially when it came to her emotional state - Julri would always jump in to tell her what she was actually feeling, cutting off her stumbling and increasingly hesitant attempts to share the emotions welling up inside her. She couldn’t be sad, disappointed, angry, hurt, confused...lonely. </p><p>And she had felt so incredibly lonely and unsupported with Julri in the end, hadn’t she? It didn’t matter whether she was away in Narin City or back with him in Moonbright, the aching loneliness was the same. She’d only kept clinging onto their one-sided relationship because she’d been so terrified to be alone. Completely missing the fact that she already was.</p><p>Poppy closed her eyes as she felt a fresh wave of tears well up, threatening to spill over at any moment. Her nose and cheeks felt tight and puffy, her skin going hot then cold then went back to hot again, a telltale sign that she was on the verge of breaking down into a full-on sob fest. She could tell that her face was already starting to get blotchy from the rising storm of emotions whirling around inside her.  </p><p>Tora had lapsed into silence, apparently having said his piece, but Poppy didn’t feel the need to rush in and fill the quiet with nervous chatter like she normally did when conversations hit a lull. It felt more like he was just giving her some time to think over his words, to process their conversation, to feel the emotions she’d been striving to hold in check for a month and a half...well, really for years now. She could feel the weight of his patient, watchful gaze just as much as the hands still carefully cradling the sides of her face. </p><p>Poppy felt her mouth quiver and she sucked in a deep breath through her nose. She pulled Tora’s hands down from her face, his gentle touch there normally welcome but currently it was a little too distracting from gathering her thoughts together. She wanted to nuzzle into his touch and just turn her brain off for a while...but that wasn’t going to help anything right now, only further delay the inevitable emotional reckoning she knew she needed to finally turn and face.</p><p>Poppy clasped Tora’s hands between hers, not wanting to let go and lose that steadying contact with him. She opened her eyes, directing her gaze down at the large hands letting themselves be cradled by her so much tinier and weaker ones. He was so much bigger and far more powerful than her, she knew he could shake her hands off without so much as a thought. In his line of work, he had to be strong, fierce, tough, more of a threat than the men he faced off with. And yet, here he was, letting her direct his hands wherever she wanted, responding instantly to her whisper light, hesitant touch. </p><p>The urge to duck and run was fading, though not completely non-existent. Poppy no longer felt as strong of a pull towards her default coping mechanism of waving away the things that deeply hurt. She realized she really didn’t want to hide herself from Tora or lie about what the real reasons were for her crying in front of him seemingly out of nowhere. </p><p>She sipped in a slow, steadying breath and flicked her eyes back up to meet his. <em> Let it out. That’s what he said. He wants me to be open and honest with what I’m feeling. I can’t keep running forever...and I don’t want to, even if I’m not sure yet how to stop. But I at least can try to slow down as much as I can and let him get a little closer. </em></p><p>“You know, I think I-” she started saying, but her words caught and died in her throat, the fear of being rejected rising up to strangle her voice. That hadn’t been an unfounded worry for her even just two months ago. Poppy sniffled, her hands trembling around Tora’s as big tears welled up in her eyes.  </p><p>She searched his face as she silently pleaded with her eyes, hoping he could see the words that wouldn’t come, <em> I want to stop running, I really do. But I can’t do it on my own right now. It’s been too long since I felt like it was okay to just freely be me, warts and all. </em></p><p>Tora wordlessly slipped his hands out of hers, pulling her against him as he tightly wrapped his arms around her in a secure, comforting hug. Poppy tucked her forehead against his shoulder, letting the grounding weight of his presence soothe away some of those old fears as silent tears trickled down her face.</p><p>She took a deep breath and then another, using Tora’s earlier words like a salve on her still bleeding heart. <em> “Ya never need to hide what yer feeling from me, okay? I hope ya know by now I’m not gonna judge ya for it.” </em></p><p>The knot in her throat slowly loosened up just enough for her to find her voice again. “You’re right, I am angry,” she murmured, her hands gripping the back of Tora’s hoodie. “I think I’m mostly angry that I lost sight of who I was for so long. That I let myself disappear under this person I kept trying to force myself into being, because that’s who I was told over and over again I had to become in order to be accepted or desired.”</p><p>Tora’s arms tightened around her as he blew out a mournful sigh and nodded at her words. “Yeah, I know what that’s like,” he said so softly under his breath she almost didn’t hear him.</p><p>Poppy leaned into him a little harder as she went on a moment later, “I’m just sad and really pissed off that I have to figure out how to love myself all over again, because there was a time in my life when that wasn’t even something I had to think about. I just did it effortlessly, you know? I spent way too much time trying to force myself to be someone I’m not, just to feel sort of tolerated, when I should have been focused on finding the people who like me for who I already am. I wasted years of my life trying to define myself by what someone else said I should be, instead of investing in the person I already was and kept trying to pretend I’m not.” </p><p>Poppy raised her head up and leaned back just enough to meet Tora’s gaze. The dark voice hissing at the back of her mind choked off and went silent as she felt tears of relief and gratitude gather in the corners of her eyes. The only things she saw reflected in the golden eyes gazing so compassionately back at her was tender acceptance and understanding. </p><p>“And you’re right,” she told him, her voice practically a whisper. “I’ve been running from myself for a long time, and I just need to stop and let her catch up to me.”</p><p>Tora gave her a gentle, reassuring smile and squeezed her a little tighter as he said, “Sounds like yer off to a good start there, sweetheart.”</p><p>“It’s still pretty scary though,” she softly admitted, feeling her chin quiver.</p><p>Tora tilted his head at her and shrugged one shoulder up. “Never said it wasn’t fuckin’ scary as hell to be honest with yerself,” he said. “But the alternative is even worse. Just shutting everything down and trying to pretend ya don’t have a heart that feels things is no way to live.” She saw his eyes cloud over and his gaze go distant, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he seemingly looked back at something he regretted.</p><p>“Speaking from personal experience?” Poppy quietly asked him, watching his eyes snap back into focus on her face as she spoke. </p><p>“Yeah,” Tora breathed out, more a sigh than a word. “And that’s not something I want for <em> you, </em> Poppylan,” he told her almost sternly, shaking her slightly to emphasize his point. “Ya deserve to be free and happy. Never want ya to feel like ya shouldn’t be yer sassy ass self. I fuckin’ <em> like </em>the feisty, snarky, ballsy hamster who managed to punch me right in the goddamn nose, and you should too.”</p><p>Poppy couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled up at that. “That’s a weird thing to like about me,” she pointed out with a bemused smile.</p><p>A tiny blush dusted across Tora’s cheeks as he cocked an eyebrow at her and shrugged. “Well, you <em> are </em>weird. Along with being noisy, impulsive, and stubborn as all hell,” he told her, grinning at the unimpressed scowl she shot him. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, wasn't done yet. Yer also brave, kind, strong, and smart as fuck,” he said matter of factly. </p><p>He slid his arms from around her back and settled his hands on either side of her shoulders as he said, “Ya been through a lot of shit in yer life already, Bobby, but ya still got a big heart and try to see the best in people. I like-” he caught himself for a second and then seemed to come to some decision, intensity snapping into his eyes as he stared hard at her. He pressed on, “Ya know what? Fuck it, already shot my mouth off once today, so what the hell. Ya got a big heart, and I fuckin’ love that about ya. Ya like this big ball of energy and sunshine, and it’s fuckin’ amazing, okay? And I don’t want ya to ever let anyone put that light out, including me.”</p><p>Poppy couldn’t stop the tears from springing up in her eyes again. “Tora,” she choked out, wanting to say more, but the words got stuck in her throat as she was overcome with a new wave of emotions springing up inside her. But these ones were a swirl of light and hope and deep gratitude for this man who liked her just as she was.</p><p>“Don’t let anyone tell ya not to enjoy all that weird ass nerd shit ya like so much or that you should be into somethin’ else ya don’t actually like. Just be yerself, and fuck anyone who tells ya not to be,” he told her firmly, poking her between the shoulder blades with one finger to more fully make his point. “Just tell ‘em to fuck right the hell off, and if they don’t, just punch ‘em in the face. For being so tiny, ya sure got a good arm on ya. Speaking from personal experience,” he said, his eyes crinkling up as he grinned knowingly at her. </p><p>Poppy laughed, her chest feeling the lightest it had in years. “Thanks, Dr. Phil, I’ll keep that advice in mind,” she giggled. </p><p>“Who the hell <em> is </em>that?” Tora muttered at her. “I swear, you and Quince better not be fuckin’ with me…”</p><p>Poppy snorted and giggled at his confusion, but a moment later she grew serious again as she looked Tora soberly in the face. She put a hand over one of his and gripped it tight. “Thank you,” she told him, trying to put as much gratitude into those two words as she could. “I - I really needed to hear that. And I appreciate you helping me start getting some of that stuff out.”</p><p>Tora softly smiled at her as he gripped her shoulders a little tighter for a moment. “Anytime, sweetheart,” he said. “And I’m serious, ya need to rant or whatever, I’m here for ya. Hell, if ya need me to beat Quincey’s ass for ya, just let me know, okay? Ya don’t even hafta ask, just point at him.”</p><p>Poppy snickered at Tora’s earnest expression. “You’ll just take any and all chances to pick on him, huh?” she giggled.</p><p>Tora smirked at her and casually shrugged as he said, “It’s what big brothers do. Plus he fuckin’ deserves it, and the princess knows it.”</p><p>Poppy smiled and rolled her eyes as she shook her head at him. “Uh huh, and I’m sure you’re just an absolute angel in comparison, right?” she said, grinning cheekily at him. Her smile faltered as he dropped his eyes from hers, a frown drifting across his face at her words.</p><p>Poppy’s hand was still resting over his and she gripped his fingers tightly, pulling his attention back to her. She flashed him a wide, sunny smile, hoping he could see the deep appreciation for his kindness in her eyes that was currently filling up her chest like the rising sun pushing back the night. </p><p>“Seriously, Tora, thank you. It means...<em> a lot </em> to me that you’re willing to be there and listen,” Poppy said. “I haven’t -  well, I haven’t really gotten that very much before. So thank you.”</p><p>Tora gave her smile that was tinged with just a touch of sadness. <em> Where had that suddenly come from? </em> she wondered. She’d have to think on it later - her head and heart were currently swimming from the developments of the last, what, twenty minutes? It felt like she’d just done a month’s work of emotional processing in all of ten minutes. Poppy just needed a little time to gather herself back together. It was like this big heavy thing had been pulled out of the center of her chest, freeing up so much space inside her, and now all the other parts of her needed to find their place again. </p><p>“Um, hey, Tora?” she quietly said, nervously picking at his finger. </p><p>He grunted at her, raising his eyebrows in question.</p><p>“Would you - do you mind - I mean, I really needed this, and don’t get me wrong, I definitely like being around you like this. But I kinda need some time alone for a little bit. Just to sort through my thoughts and settle myself back down. Kinda have a lot to think about now, you know?” Poppy said, her words coming out faster and running together as she chattered anxiously. “I mean, I don’t want you to feel like I’m kicking you out or someth-”</p><p>Tora put a finger on her lips, effectively cutting her off. “Hey, don’t go getting yerself all worked up again, sweetheart. I get it. Seems like ya got a lot on yer mind. Take all the time ya need, okay? This weekend is about getting the chance to unplug and chillin’ the fuck out anyways, remember?” he said, raising his eyebrows in silent reproach, not having to remind her that she’d been all set to drag work along with her.</p><p>Poppy rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, yeah, unplugging and not thinking about work, I get it,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. </p><p>“And not dwelling on shit ya can’t change. Or that doesn’t need changing in the first place,” he said, grabbing her hand with one of his as he pointed at her with the other in admonishment.</p><p>“Yes, sir,” she huffed at him. “Any other orders before I can finally lay down and find out how soft this bed is?”</p><p>Tora did his little “pfft pfft” laugh as he released her hand and stood up. “Yeah, I got one for ya, Bobby,” he said as he put his hands on his hips and smirked down at her.</p><p>Poppy waited a couple moments and then took the bait. “Oh, and what’s that?” she muttered, narrowing her eyes suspiciously up at him.</p><p>Before she could blink, Tora struck, grabbing her by the waist and sweeping her up off her feet. He spun around and lightly tossed her onto the bed. Poppy gently landed on her back, the bed so cushy she didn’t even bounce, just immediately sunk down into the pile of pillows and layers of soft bedding.</p><p>“Ya need to fuckin’ relax. That’s the order,” Tora said as he scampered towards the adjoining room, grinning back at her with such boyish, light hearted humor that Poppy couldn’t even be mad at him. </p><p>“Ay ay, captain,” she called after him as he softly pulled the door closed behind him, tossing off a lazy salute even though he couldn’t see it, and then let her arm flop down onto the bed. </p><p>Poppy let out a big, long sigh and stared up at the ceiling. "Holy shitake fudge biscuits," she quietly said. <em>Holy shit, what just happened? S</em>he’d finally stopped running, at least for the moment, but where did she go from here?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Many of the things I said about Julri in this chapter were pulled directly, with no exaggeration, from the toxic, abusive relationship I was in during college. He also cheated on me, and I dumped his sorry ass ASAP. That was the wake up call I needed to realize how bad that relationship truly was and finally leave. In the years since, I did a lot of work to become a person I'm proud of, and found and married my Tora. But be good to yourselves and don't settle for someone just because they kinda tolerate you. Hold out for the person who makes you melt into a puddle when they hug you and looks at you like you're the best thing they've ever seen.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Did You Fall In Love With Someone?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Poppy wakes up from an accidental nap, examines her swanky room, and mulls over some suspiciously personal flowers.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Song suggestion for this chapter: Lost (acoustic version) by JacobNeverhill and Nora Bart https://youtu.be/o7jX_nd9lx4<br/>So I keep meaning for more action to happen, as that's what is in my notes....buuuut these guys just keep having so many thoughts and feelings they want to get out first lol. I swear, they actually do get to the Ren Fest in this thing eventually! I really do enjoy delving into their inner dialogue and exploring their motivations though. This chapter has a bit of set up for things that pay off later - some descriptions now so it doesn't interrupt the flow of action in future chapters.<br/>I was going to switch to Tora's POV, but it was already getting so long. Just know he'll have some thoughts about flowers in the next chapter in his typical unimpressed fashion lol.<br/>As always peanutbutterandchelly and FawkesFire13 are my beta readers extraordinaire and cheerleaders helping me stay focused and motivated.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dad?” Poppy shyly said, keeping her face directed up towards the puffy little clouds drifting lazily overhead as she glanced over at her dad out of the corner of her eye. “Can I ask you something?”</p><p>He finished taking a long drag from his strawberry juice and set the can down between them, careful to make sure it didn’t tip over and tumble down to the forest floor far below them. Their legs hung free and loose off the large, solid tree branch they were currently perched on. </p><p>“Yeah, Pops?” he said, his face open and sincere like it always was.</p><p>Poppy sucked in a breath and gathered her courage, nervously picking at a loose piece of bark next to her thigh. “I was wondering...do you...do you ever regret marrying Mom?” she hurriedly asked, her tongue almost tripping over itself as she spit the words out in a rush before she could chicken out yet again, ducking her head down to let her hair fall around her face. She didn’t want him to see how much the answer mattered to her. </p><p>She furtively peeked up from behind her hair as her dad blinked for a moment at her and then blew out a weary sounding sigh, his shoulders briefly slumping. He seemed to pull himself back together, sitting straighter and interlacing his fingers behind his head as he tilted his face up to take in the achingly blue sky. The early summer breeze lightly tousled his hair as he settled himself more comfortably back against the trunk of the huge, stately tree they’d chosen to climb that day. He was quiet for long enough that Poppy wasn’t sure if he was going to answer. </p><p>She started opening her mouth to backpedal and tell him to just forget she’d asked when he quietly said, “No, I don’t regret marrying your mom, sweetie. I mean, I’m not going to lie to you - it hurts a lot that she decided to just walk out on us, and <em> especially </em>on you. I had hoped...well, I just assumed she felt the same way I did about our family and the life we’d built together. I guess I didn’t know her as well as I thought I did, and that doesn’t feel very good to think about some days.”</p><p>“If- if you knew that she was going to hurt you like that and leave eventually...would you have still married her?” Poppy forced herself to ask, pretending to look at something all the way down on the ground far below to more fully avert her face from her dad’s always too perceptive gaze. </p><p>“Hmm, that’s a hard question to answer in some ways, but in others I don’t even have to think about it,” he said thoughtfully. Poppy held her breath as she waited for him to go on, the familiar chirping whine of cicadas rising up from all directions almost noisy enough to drown out the sound of her heart loudly beating in her ears. </p><p>“I loved your mom, Poppylan, and if I’m honest, there’s still a big part of my heart that belongs to her and hurts every single day that she’s not here. In some ways, it would almost be easier to deal with if she had died, instead of knowing she’s out there and just choosing to not be with us for whatever reason,” he said softly, his voice tinged with sorrow. </p><p>Poppy swallowed and felt tears start to gather in the corners of her eyes. She startled a moment later when her dad settled his hand on her knee and squeezed reassuringly. “But you know, for all the hurt and pain, I’d do it again,” he said, the quiet, firm conviction in his voice plainly evident. “I wouldn’t change it. I mean, maybe I’d try to do some things better, not take certain things for granted, try to be a better husband and father. But in the end, yes, marrying your mom was worth it. Because I get to sit here with you right now. And call me corny or sappy all you want, but I’m really happy to have you, Poppylan.”</p><p>Poppy snapped her head up, locking her startled eyes with her dad’s tender gaze as he smiled lovingly at her. “But, doesn’t it <em> suck </em>to be alone?” she blurted out incredulously, quickly blinking back the tears that had welled up. “I mean, I would feel awful to love someone so much and then just suddenly have them walk out on me one day and be all alone by myself again,” she mumbled, dropping her gaze down to the loose piece of tree bark next to her leg. “You’re so strong, I don’t think I could ever handle being alone like that.”</p><p>“Well, yeah, Pops, I’m not saying it wasn’t awful to go through or that my heart doesn’t still hurt from all of it. But something I’ve learned in the years since your mom left is that you’re never really all alone, even if many times it might feel like you are,” her dad told her with quiet earnestness. “Just because your mom isn’t here anymore doesn’t mean I’m alone. I have you, Granny, the rest of our family, my friends. So even though your mom decided to leave, I still have people around me that love me for who I am and want to be there for me.” He picked up the strawberry juice again and took a couple slow sips, giving time for his words to settle into Poppy’s brain.</p><p>A moment later, he squinted over at her somewhat suspiciously. “Why the sudden questions about regret and relationships, Pops? Did you fall in love with someone? I’m too young for you to have a boyfriend already. Aren’t you like ten still?” he teasingly said as he ruffled her hair.</p><p>Poppy laughed, rolling her eyes and swatting back at him. “Daaaad! I’m fifteen, you know that! Besides, Dani and Belle had boyfriends way before they were fifteen,” she pointed out matter of factly. </p><p>Her dad groaned and rubbed his face. “Ugh, don’t remind me. Please tell me you’re not going to date two boys at once. I couldn’t handle that level of drama in our house,” he moaned as he comically flopped his head against her shoulder.</p><p>Poppy giggled at his dramatic response. “No, Dad! I promise I only want to date <em> one </em>boy, whenever that happens. And I’m not in love with anyone...yet,” she said, raising an eyebrow and smirking at him.</p><p>She laughed again when he made a show of sitting back up to wipe his brow as he let out a relieved, “Whew, well thank goodness for that. I don’t have my ‘what are your intentions for my daughter, and you better have her home by 10pm if you know what’s good for you’ speech fully prepared just yet. Gotta make sure it’s properly stern and intimidating.” He winked at her as he said that, silently letting her know he wasn’t going to be <em> that </em>bad whenever she brought a boy around for him to meet.</p><p>Poppy’s smile fell a moment later as she glanced down again, a solemn soberness settling over her as her hands involuntarily fidgeted in her lap. “And I don’t want to play games with people like that anyways,” she said quietly. “If I ever have a boyfriend, I want to be with him because I love him for real and know that he loves me back the same. I mean, I know it doesn’t always work out, but I really want to find someone to be with forever.”</p><p>Her dad leaned over and wrapped one arm tightly around Poppy’s shoulders. “I want that for you too, Poppylan. But don’t run away from your feelings for someone just because you’re scared of what <em> might </em> happen or the possibility you <em> might </em> end up getting hurt. You tend to question yourself too much and worry about all the ways things could go wrong, instead of listening to what your heart is telling you,” he said, squeezing her reassuringly. “I mean, don’t just go falling for the first guy who happens to come along and expresses some interest in you. Make sure he’s someone worth giving your heart away to. But when you find the right person, I think you’ll know. You’ll feel it...right here,” he told her, tapping over her heart. </p><p>“And it’ll feel like the most natural thing in the world to take that step from being friends to something more. You’ll want to run towards them as hard as you can. Your heart already knows what love, real true love, feels like, so listen to that, Pops, and let it guide you as you keep your eyes open for the man who demonstrates that kind of love with every word <em> and </em>action,” her dad said as he hugged her a little more tightly. “A lot of guys will say one thing and do another, so pay attention to what he does and not just the words he uses. Talk is cheap, so make sure he backs up any professions of love with actions that say the same thing.”</p><p>Something in Poppy’s chest eased and her hands relaxed in her lap as her dad went on, “It’s easy to get caught up in over-the-top romantic gestures and showy displays of affection, but that’s not what truly matters at the end of the day. You want love that gives you the courage to keep moving forward, that helps you to have faith and believe that things will work out for the best, even when the future is filled with uncertainty and doubt. I know it might not sound exciting, but I want you to experience love that feels like a solid, immovable rock no matter what life happens to throw your way, and that you’ll be able to find joy in all of it because of that special person who wants to be with you every step of the way.”</p><p>Poppy silently nodded, tension draining out of her as she mulled over her dad’s encouraging advice. She glanced up and over at him, and he grinned back at her. A distant cloud had floated just behind him, making it look like he had a fluffy, bright white halo around his head.</p><p>“At least that’s what your old man thinks, but what do I know? I’m just trying to muddle my own way through things myself some days,” he said, shrugging at her bemused look at his words. “Hey, just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I know everything and have all the answers. But what I <em>do </em>know is that whoever you end up falling in love with is going to be a <em>very </em>lucky man, Pops. You’re pretty amazing and wonderful, and that guy needs to realize what a priceless gift it is for you to give him your heart. Whoever has the honor of winning your love should be thankful just to be in the same room as you! If he doesn’t worship the ground you walk on, he’s not worth your time and effort.”</p><p>Poppy rolled her eyes and smirked at him. “Yeah, yeah, now you’re just getting sappy and dorky, Dad,” she said, her heart swelling even as she shook her head at his grandiose descriptions of her worth.</p><p>“Hmm, well, I might be sappy and dorky, but who else makes you...these?” he said, quickly reaching over to whip out a bento box from his backpack safely stowed away against the tree trunk.</p><p>“Let me guess, another animal rice ball?” Poppy said with unimpressed derision and the best indifferent teenage eye roll she could muster. </p><p>“How ever could you have guessed?” her dad said with blatant faux surprise as he grinned, opening up the bento and proudly brandishing the cutesy, carefully arranged contents for her perusal.  </p><p>“Daaaad, why can’t you just make normal food? Those are for little kids. Why do you always have to be so cheesy?” she grumbled, but immediately took the proffered rice ball. For as much as she protested, Poppy secretly enjoyed the creative lengths her dad went to just to bring a little fun and cheer to her meals. Today he handed her a cat head, the rice tinted orange with little strips of nori seaweed for stripes. She immediately bit off one of the ears. “And a kitty cat, really?” she said with her mouth full.</p><p>“Oh come on, give your old man some credit, I know not to be <em>that </em>lame,” her dad protested as he pitched his voice higher and rolled his eyes in his best over-the-top teenage Poppy impression. He lifted his matching rice ball out of the bento box and gestured at it. “It’s way cooler than that, Pops! Didn’t you notice that it’s orange? It’s a tiger. Appropriately strong and fierce for my sweet yet courageous little Poppy flower,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her as he merrily danced his tiger rice ball around in front of her face. </p><p>“Pfft, yeah, whatever, Dad,” Poppy said giggling at his silly antics. </p><p>The sun flared bright and hot, and her dad’s face disappeared into the blinding, white glare. Poppy was left with the sky, bright and blue and vast. But she wasn’t alone. She glanced down at the one eared tiger rice ball still in her hand, its seaweed smile lopsidedly grinning back up at her. She was never really all alone, was she?</p><p>Even as she tried to hold onto that long-lost, blissful sunshine for just a little longer, Poppy felt herself unwillingly returning to wakefulness. The awareness of her current fatherless reality settled back onto her with an unforgiving solidity as her dream drifted further out of reach. She so rarely dreamt about her dad, and even then, it wasn’t usually ones she wanted to remember. His sudden illness and untimely death had overshadowed every good moment she’d had with him, Poppy’s unexpected loss ast such a young age staining every memory of her father with a dark, sobering shade of grief. Most of her dreams about him tended to be of him dying all over again or being torn away from her and sucked down into a yawning, ravening darkness. </p><p>Poppy kept her eyes closed and gently settled her hands on her stomach, riding the gentle rise and fall of her still easy, relaxed breathing as she tried to linger in the hazy, pleasant remnants of her dream. Wishing she could go back to that carefree teenager she’d once been instead of the more fearful, indecisive adult she’d somehow become in the intervening years, she sighed and stretched her legs, languidly flexing her feet and wiggling her toes. She held the real world at bay for just a few more breaths, not wanting to open her eyes and lose that image of her dad’s untroubled, smiling face just yet.</p><p>Her dream today had been...happy, nice, encouraging even. Just a snippet of a memory from a day that hadn’t felt particularly momentous or special at the time, only taking on any kind of significance when life had suddenly veered off course shortly thereafter when her dad unexpectedly and tragically fell ill. It’d been one of those completely ordinary, lazy summer days that Poppy would give anything to experience again, just the two of them high up in the trees, watching the clouds sedately drift by as they casually talked about life and love and the future. </p><p>She hadn’t felt the need to ask every single question on her mind that day, because at that point she didn’t have any reason to think there wouldn’t be plenty of time to pick up the conversation again down the road. The future had stretched out before them then, an endless shiny ribbon unspooling into the far distance, the days to come full of boundless hope and bright promise. Any passing thoughts of death and terminal illness was something to worry about multiple decades into the future. </p><p>She’d been filled with teenage worries and fears about relationships and love, her focus on school and the ever shifting landscape of friends and enemies and current crushes she passed each day in the halls. It’d been the kind of conversation Poppy so desperately wished she could have with her dad now, when love felt so much more complicated and confusing than the silly high school crushes she and her friends had been obsessed with back then. The thought of love at 21 brought up such a convoluted tangle of messy emotions, when it’d seemed so simple and straightforward at 15. If you liked someone and they liked you back, you got into a relationship, and that was that.</p><p><em> Heh. If only it were that easy, </em> Poppy thought to herself wryly. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and instinctively turned her head to the right to check the time, before the mound of soft pillows underneath her and the luxurious surroundings filtering back into her consciousness reminded her of where and when she was. </p><p>She blinked up at the grasscloth clad ceiling, her earlier conversations with Tora welling back up in her brain completely unbidden. She couldn’t help but smile as she recalled the fleeting blush that had sprung up on the normally reserved man’s cheeks when they’d kissed and each time the word “love” had fallen from his lips.</p><p>Love. Apparently her mind was stuck on that word today. Tora’s use of it twice in less than half an hour must have lodged more firmly into her brain than she’d realized.</p><p>
  <em> Badump.  </em>
</p><p>Tora. Her heart jumped at the thought of him.</p><p>His intense, golden eyes filled with a mixture of fierce protectiveness and tender love blazed through her mind. Poppy sucked in a hard breath through her nose to steady the suddenly increased tempo of her heartbeat. How did he manage to both tie her into knots and make her feel so light and free? </p><p>She ran her hands down her face, trying to focus on something else for the time being besides how he reduced her so easily to a puddle of giddy, emotional mush. Guh, what time was it anyways? How long had she been out for? She’d only intended to just briefly lay there to settle herself back into place a bit. Give herself a few minutes to breathe and tuck away those tattered broken pieces that Tora had so deftly exposed as he gently brought them into the light and helped her see it was okay to acknowledge the places where she’d been hurt so deeply. </p><p>But there were parts of herself that still needed some protective handling for the time being that she wasn’t quite ready to leave out on view for just anyone to see. While she knew she really needed to set aside some uninterrupted time to be honest with herself, sort through her thoughts, and figure out the answers to some important questions, Poppy didn’t want to walk around all weekend feeling like an open wound either. Yes, it was time to stop running from herself, but she also wasn’t going to just lay there the rest of the day with only her thoughts and sad memories for company. It’d be too easy to get lost down twisting rabbit trails and wind herself up all over again. </p><p>Poppy promised herself she’d take those fragile, tender pieces back out when she was in the familiar safety of her apartment again. It was way past time to stop hiding behind the emotional comforts of home, stop using work as a constant easy distraction when she left the office for the day - she needed to reckon with the past, face the cracks and scars that still affected her so much. </p><p>For now, she put a mental sticky note on her memories and the pain from the past five years, swallowing down her fear and self loathing as she committed to come back to it once this mini vacation was over. While a part of her wanted nothing more than for Tora to hold her hand through the whole process, Poppy knew he couldn’t do the work for her, that there were things she needed to deal with on her own. She’d let Julri pull her so far away from who she was and what she wanted in life, she needed to take ownership of herself again. </p><p>As much help as Tora had been today, no one else could stop running for her. Poppy was the only one who could turn around and fully face the person she’d been trying to ignore for so long. As scary as that felt right now, she knew it was the thing she had to do to finally be able to move forward with her life. </p><p>But that reckoning and the emotional fallout from it could wait for a couple more days. Right now, Poppy was going to listen to Tora’s “order” and relax. She really did want to take this opportunity to get to know both him and Quincey better away from the pressures and stress of their lives in the city.</p><p>Though speaking of relaxing...Poppy stretched out and groped around the vast expanse of comfy bedding and abundant pillows surrounding her. Where the fudge was her phone? She blinked a few times and tried to remember where she’d left her purse. She felt strangely vulnerable at the moment without her phone and bag, and knew locating them would help her feel a little more settled again. Just being able to check the time and swipe through the latest stories on Instagram for a couple minutes would help her feel more grounded and less like she was standing at the edge of a cliff getting ready to freefall into the unknown. </p><p>A moment later Poppy’s brain finally kicked fully back into gear as she shook off the last remaining sleepy fuzz from her accidental cat nap. Oh, right. She’d slipped her purse off and set it on the floor at the foot of the bed just as her thoughts had been consumed with the past and all the regret and anger she carried from her years wasted on the wrong person. Little hard to retain such a minor detail when she was overcome by the ache of still raw and bleeding wounds on her heart from her ex’s callous, selfish, and manipulative treatment of her love. The love that she’d so desperately tried to convince herself was mutual.</p><p>But Tora had been there to hold her, helping stop the usual overwhelming flood of shame and anger and desolation from sweeping her away. His gentle, earnest reproof of her usual tactic of indefinitely putting off dealing with hurtful things was a much needed balm to her tender, weeping heart. His honest and insightful response to her cascading emotions had been a soothing salve on the lingering sting from years of cruel and indifferent words that she just couldn’t seem to shake off yet. He’d held her close and just let her cry and feel whatever she needed to without judgement. Again. </p><p>Just like when she’d shown up at his apartment to check on him when he was sick. He’d let her get upset and yell at him, freely admitted she’d stressed him out...yet he’d still wanted to kiss her after that. </p><p>
  <em> Badump. </em>
</p><p>Tora. Her brain just refused to let him go.</p><p>He hadn’t said that much today - the man tended to keep things short and to the point, not given to overly effusive language - but each of the heartfelt words he’d given her had carried so much healing and new found freedom with them. Poppy felt wrung out yet newly lighter, like the beach swept clean of all debris after a storm blows through. Putting her hands over her heart, she drew in a deep, cleansing breath, feeling like she had the space for the first time in years to fully expand her lungs. </p><p>Hell, she finally had the space again to expand<em> herself. </em> Poppy didn’t feel like she was slowly imploding anymore, which she hadn’t even realized was happening until that day when she’d closed that door firmly behind her and marched away from Julri for the last time.</p><p>She gave herself one more moment of stillness and then briskly ran her hands up and down her arms a few times. Poppy lightly slapped her cheeks, firmly reminding herself to get out of her head and focus on having some much needed fun over the next two days. She pushed herself up and looked around, taking in her accommodations more closely than she had earlier. </p><p>All of the suite that Poppy could currently see was tastefully arrayed in various tones of soft grey with accents of rich jewel tones and the occasional pop of trendy bright color. It leaned more warm and traditional than the sleek, modern minimalism of Quincey’s penthouse. Well, the style his home was currently decorated in anyways. She’d only been there a few times so far, but Tora had told her to be prepared to show up one day and for it to look completely different. </p><p>Apparently when her over-the-top client felt the urge to refresh his decor, that meant a complete top to bottom overhaul. Quincey certainly didn’t do anything halfway, that was for sure. Case in point, the fact that Poppy was currently sitting on the largest, comfiest bed she’d ever had the pleasure to fall asleep in, surrounded by almost a dozen pillows, with not just one but at least three soft, cuddly throw blankets in rich shades of green casually yet very intentionally draped around the room. </p><p>Directly across from where she was propped up in said king size bed was a large flatscreen TV that definitely wouldn’t fit anywhere in her apartment - Poppy doubted it would even be possible to maneuver it up the narrow stairwell in her building. It was one of those fancy models that had a picture frame around it and could be set to look like a painting when it was turned off. It was currently showing a close up of the lovers in Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss. The massive TV hung on the wall over a long, darkly stained wood cabinet flanked by tall, matching bookshelves decorated with little objets d'art in appropriately contrasting metallic finishes. In between the TV area and the closet where Tora had hung up her costume bag was an alcove that contained a small kitchenette with a mini fridge, microwave, and well appointed coffee and snack station. </p><p>The coffee would certainly come in handy the following morning, when they had to get up decently early in order to arrive at the festival an hour or so after opening. Quincey had ambitiously declared he wanted to be there for the entire day. “I want the full experience, Miss Editor!” he’d emphatically told her as soon as he’d decided it was an absolutely wonderful idea to tag along with her to the Renaissance Festival, having no clue what that entailed but all in on the idea of a getaway of any kind.</p><p>But Poppy had quietly confided in Tora, while they were waiting at Fawkes Tail for their trip’s benefactor to emerge in yet another costume option, that it would be for the best to figure out a way for the blonde man to “oversleep” just a bit. Tora had winked and told her to leave it to him, murmuring that he’d just change the princess’ alarm clock and Quincey would be none the wiser, forgetting his original wake time in the stupor of his usual early morning grogginess.</p><p>“I might not be into all that techy shit like Gyu, but I sure as hell can change the damn alarm clock on a phone. Been doing that to Quince since high school,” Tora had whispered conspiratorially to her with a sly mischievous grin. “Ya have any idea how many times I snuck in after he fell asleep and set his alarm to go off at four in the fuckin’ morning?”</p><p>Poppy had giggled and rolled her eyes amusedly at the dark haired man’s penchant for mischief, but thanked him for being willing to help her out. She had been at the Ren Fest more than once from before the opening cannon went off to after the closing drum circle and troupe of fire breathers led everyone back out to the rolling fields used as a vast parking lot, but she knew how to conserve her energy to comfortably last that long. For first time attendees, and especially for her star client who didn’t seem to know the meaning of the phrase “pace yourself,” she thought it best to get there a little later in the morning to keep the day from turning into a draining slog for all of them.</p><p>While she could easily while away the entire day happily going from booth to booth, checking out her favorite performers, and saying hello to familiar faces, Poppy wanted to make sure the weekend was enjoyable for <em> all </em>of them. She’d rather be there for less time and know that both Tora and Quincey actually had fun than stay from open to close and have two worn out, crabby men on her hands at the end of it. She wanted to still like Quincey and Tora by the time they made it back to Narin City on Sunday night, and forcing them to their different limits of tolerance wasn’t going to do her any favors in that regard. </p><p>Neither of the men were very pleasant company when they were tired and grumpy, especially when they had to continue to be around each other in that state. Poppy had quickly learned in the month since Quincey had signed on with Giant Goldfish that he and Tora had a particular knack for subtly yet effectively pressing the other’s buttons, getting on each other’s nerves in an astoundingly short period of time some days. <em> Brothers indeed, </em> she thought amusedly, rolling her eyes at the men’s earlier relentless barrage of banter during their drive here and how it’d only seemed to intensify on their way up from the lobby. </p><p>Poppy wasn’t really worried so much about Tora getting too physically exhausted - for how regularly and intensely it seemed he worked out, she was confident the man had more than enough stamina and common sense to manage a whole day of sedately wandering around the dusty festival grounds. But she knew he would quickly grow grumpy and short tempered if he had to put up with a dehydrated, overly tired, and whiny Quincey for hours on end. Honestly, she probably would too. </p><p>So less time at the fest for more fun overall - she was perfectly content with that plan of action. And it wasn’t like there weren’t other fun things they could do to entertain themselves over the next few days. </p><p>The thought of kissing Tora bubbled up, the randy part of her more than happy to suggest a <em> very </em> enjoyable way she could entertain herself. Poppy felt herself flush even as she immediately swatted that image back down. <em> Get ahold of yourself, woman, </em> she scolded herself. <em> Tora’s right - get your mind out of that gutter. If you’re not ready for a relationship with the obscenely sexy man, you don’t get to take advantage of his lips either. Even if said lips are amazing and make me melt right into the ground. God, this is so not helping. </em> Poppy covered her burning face with her hands, even though she was alone. <em> Time, you need time to get your head back on straight, remember? Plus, you hated when Julri only wanted one thing from you and didn’t give two farts how used you felt. So don’t do the same thing to anyone else, and especially not Tora. </em></p><p>Entertain themselves, Poppy told herself firmly, as in the small tourist town they were staying in had plenty to explore within two blocks of the hotel. She was happy just being able to have a laid-back weekend to casually wander with no set agenda, “toodling around” as her Granny called it. Whether they ended up walking more along Main Street or at the Ren Fest or just hung out in the cushy luxury of their suite, all those options sounded perfectly enjoyable to her. The best part was knowing she had friends along who were genuinely happy to be there and wanted to spend time with her.</p><p>Poppy smiled gratefully to herself at her star client’s genuinely exuberant buy-in to the whole weekend and Tora’s willingness to try something new just because she’d been so excited about going. Tora could call her a nerd and grumble about the “gathering of the nerds” all he wanted, but she’d quickly realized the normally stoic, reserved man only teased people he actually liked. Even amidst his protests at wearing a costume and grumbling at them from the changing room at Fawkes Tail, she could tell that he was happy and excited at the chance to get out of town with her and Quincey.  And Poppy had to admit, she actually <em> liked </em>when Tora teased her. There was something about the way he said, “pfft, nerd” that just warmed her heart.</p><p>Unfortunately, there had been far too many instances in the previous five years where “nerd” had felt more like an epithet, derisively slung at her and her “weird, odd” interests. Tora made her laugh or blush or huff and swat at him (sometimes all of the above) in response to his snarky teasing and ever ready innuendo, but he never made her feel like there was anything wrong with her. None of his ribbing or suggestive comments ever left her feeling less than or like she should stop being herself. Whereas Julri had only ever casually belittled and eventually moved into blatant mocking, making her feel small and self-conscious for how much she enjoyed dressing up and going to the festival. </p><p>Poppy caught herself, putting a halt to that train of thought and stopping that spiral of bad memories from going any further. She reminded herself to focus on the supportive people in her life and the good happening to her <em> right now, </em> returning her attention to familiarizing herself with her home away from home for the next two nights. She almost had to pinch herself, still surprised and astonished that Quincey had reserved a space this large just for her. </p><p>Off to Poppy’s right, near an expanse of frosted glass windows hung with heavily brocaded, floor to ceiling curtains, a nice lounge area was set up with a couple tufted suede club chairs and a small couch clustered around a fashionably low slung coffee table. A tall geometric vase in the middle of the table was bursting with an impressively large and verdant floral arrangement: compact, dense blossoms of milky white chrysanthemums, heavy balls of light coral pink peonies with delicate papery poppies in the exact same shade of pink, sprays of white and pink stargazer lilies arching out, with little bursts of spring green button chrysanthemums and Queen Anne’s Lace dotted throughout. </p><p>Poppy found herself sliding off the bed and walking over to the flowers, her perusal of the rest of her suite briefly set aside. Some part of her just had to know whether the hotel actually went to the expense of putting that many real flowers in a single room. Poppies wilted so quickly, it almost seemed a waste to have such a spectacular arrangement that included the incredibly short-lived flowers tucked away in a hotel room where they wouldn’t really be seen before they needed to be tossed out. </p><p>She was taken aback a moment later when she fingered a few velvety soft peony petals to find the flowers were very much real, the heady sweet fragrance of the stargazer lilies really all the confirmation she needed as to their authenticity. </p><p>Poppy carefully trailed a single finger over the paperthin petals of one of the poppies.<em> I didn’t know they even came in such a pretty shade of pink </em>, she marveled. She’d seen the usual red plenty of times of course, along with orange, yellow, and white before, but never any in this soft salmon shade of pink. She moved on to caressing a peony, the ball of curly edged petals gently unfurling at her touch as she gingerly pulled them back to get a peek at the orangey yellow sun hidden at its center; its pink color was a far more familiar sight, though it took her a long second to figure out why.</p><p>Poppy blushed and snatched her hand away, instinctively guiltily looking around to make sure no one had caught her in the act of tenderly exploring the exact same flower that bloomed in multiples down Tora’s left arm. <em> Oh my god, Pops, cool your tits. It’s just a freakin’ flower. No one’s going to assume you have the hots for him just because you were fingering a peony, </em> she reprimanded herself, trying to will away the hot blush she could feel flaring up her neck and across her face. Well...Tora would probably have something suggestive to say if he was around, which had Poppy shooting a quick glance over to the door leading to the other suite to confirm it was indeed still fully closed.</p><p>She bashfully covered her face with her hands, still feeling the embarrassment hot on her cheeks. Good lord, here she was now getting all flustered over a stupid <em> flower </em>that the distractingly gorgeous man happened to have tattooed on him. It was just a coincidence that the same flower was in her room for the weekend. </p><p>Though now that she thought of it….Poppy peeked through her fingers and narrowed her eyes as she looked more closely at the flowers on display. For some reason, she had a sudden sneaking suspicion that a certain self-appointed love expert had a hand in what flowers were chosen for the tall vase that was so prominent and easily seen from pretty much anywhere in the spacious room. </p><p>She felt more confident of his meddling when she remembered one of Quincey’s earlier books had centered around a slow burn romance set in a flower shop and the bouquets the tongue tied couple had silently gifted back and forth to each other to express their growing love. So he had definitely done plenty of research on the messages different plants and blooms conveyed. The poppies and peonies just felt a little too on the nose to be an accident, especially since neither were currently in season.</p><p> Though if he was trying to tell her something, Poppy certainly wasn’t fully conversant in all the meanings behind flowers and their various colors. She drew on what she could remember from his book and her Victorian-era romance novel phase as she swept her gaze over the lush display again. </p><p>The blonde man didn’t do subtle, that was for sure. Peonies for Tora and poppies for her, obviously. They were in the same color, so was Quincey trying to say they were more alike than she might think? Or that they belonged together? That she should be as close to Tora as his peony tattoo?</p><p>Ugh, this was about as helpful as consulting one of those stupid Magic 8-Balls. She settled on the fact that the two flowers stood for her and Tora and moved on. </p><p>Poppy was all too aware that white chrysanthemums were a symbol of death, usually given to offer condolences - their house in Moonbright had felt like it’d been filled with them for weeks after her dad passed away. But the lilies and the buttons of bright green chrysanthemums were a vibrant contrast to that, as they both stood for renewal and rebirth, the promise of spring and new life after a ravening winter. </p><p>So was he offering sympathy for her past losses? It’d come up in passing that her dad had passed away years ago, and Erdene had already made sure Quincey knew about the existence of Poppy’s awful cheating ex. And with the lilies and green chrysanthemums was he saying that she should be open to embracing a new season in spite of what she’d gone through previously in life? Poppy could get on board with that. </p><p>Though perhaps it was that both her and Tora had experienced the lingering pain of grief and loss but now had the chance to start something new together? Poppy wasn’t sure what she felt about that just yet. They were friends, yes, and she was incredibly thankful to have met him...but she’d also tried to communicate she wasn’t ready for more than that, which was still true. While she might not be honest with herself at times, she knew she wasn’t ready at this point to get into a new relationship - her slew of unprocessed emotions involuntarily spilling over in front of Tora were quite indicative of that. She didn’t want to play with either of their hearts like that if she could help it.</p><p>The remaining flower, generally chosen merely for the sake of cheaply filling out floral arrangements, tripped her up a bit. Poppy knew Queen Anne’s Lace symbolized sanctuary and refuge, its meaning always the same in every book she’d read. Which left her confused. Seeking sanctuary...from something? In something? </p><p>She suddenly blushed again as the lightbulb clicked on, her brain grumbling at her for being so dense. Duh. Finding refuge...in each other.</p><p>The impossible to forget feeling of Tora’s arms wrapped around her lent extra speed to Poppy’s steps as she turned on her heel and marched stiffly back over to the bed to grab her purse. Her heart was squeezed by equal parts shy embarrassment and dopey happiness at the recollection of how good it felt to be held that close to him.</p><p><em> Yes, thank you, Quincey, I get it. You have expressed loud and clear that you think Tora and I would make a great pair and belong together, </em>she muttered to herself as she snatched her bag off the floor and unceremoniously plopped it onto the bed. </p><p>Though Quincey’s message really wasn’t all that loud, was it? He hadn’t gone for the flowers that spoke boldly of passion or romance or sexual desire. Not even close. Poppy paused and looked back over her shoulder at the lush bouquet again. While the display itself was certainly bold and ostentatious, the quiet, gentle message it conveyed wasn’t in the slightest. Acknowledgement and sympathy for pain and loss, encouragement to enter a new season and embrace a fresh start, the quiet relief of finding refuge in someone safe to be vulnerable and honest with. Not a single bloom that had any connotations with the kind of burning desire and raging passionate love that so often showed up within the pages of his books. </p><p>Poppy smiled and then snorted at the thought that it was actually a much more tender and nuanced message than what the erotic romance novelist typically went for, his antics earlier that morning at her apartment building far more in line with his usual over-the-top style. Maybe he was a little more insightful than she’d given him credit for. She supposed you couldn’t write that many bestselling stories about love and relationships and not have at least some degree of emotional intelligence and empathy.</p><p>Poppy wondered if there was a floral arrangement situated somewhere in the next room for Tora as she dug around in her purse for her phone. She hadn’t noticed one, but she’d been admittedly distracted by a certain handsome man holding her hand for the majority of the few minutes she’d been in there. And she didn’t think Tora was the type of person who spared a second glance for floral arrangements, beyond the initial noting of its presence within his vicinity. He was incredibly observant, but that didn’t mean he got hung up on the importance of everything he saw. Quincey definitely cared about flowers and other decorative details like that, but Tora seemed far more focused on function and practicality. He could be sweet and sentimental for sure, but definitely not given to flights of fancy. </p><p>Poppy giggled as she finally fished her phone out from the bottom of her bag. If their blonde friend was going to attempt to communicate anything with flowers to Tora, it would have to have all the subtlety of a billboard ad spelling out a message in big, bold letters.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Unraveling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora has some thoughts while he waits for Poppy. Quincey forced him to learn about flowers and he was not happy about it. Quincess and the hamster team up to get Tora to loosen up and have some fun.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Song suggestion: The Few Things (JP Saxe cover) by JacobNeverHill &amp; Nora Bart https://youtu.be/6PQAAJ7zaw0<br/>Aaaand I'm back again with the longest chapter yet lol. I hit 50K words with this update, which feels pretty cool. Took me a lot longer to get there when I first started A Lily For Tora. These guys just have so much to say!<br/>Next chapter we finally get into some more action! Originally in my notes they got to the hotel and then went out right away, but apparently they both needed four chapters to get all their thoughts and feelings out first. -shrugs-<br/>peanutbutterandchelly was instrumental in helping me craft this chapter. She and FawkesFire13 are my cheerleading squad of motivation and idea generators.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shiny things were bullshit. Tora’s gaze caught, yet again, on the irritatingly gleaming vase filled with pink flowers on the bedside table to his right. How many times had his eyes been pulled over to the damn thing in the last hour? It wasn’t like he could really ignore the bouquet that was practically shoved right in his face anyway, it was maybe all of two feet from where he’d flopped onto his assigned bed for the weekend. </p><p>The flowers weren’t the problem, they were honestly fine, he’d even go so far as to say they were actually pretty understated for a ritzy place like this. It was the metallic multi-faceted <em> container </em>holding them that had Tora itching to just chuck the entire fuckin’ thing straight out a window. It looked like someone had taken a bunch of the paper footballs he used to flick at Quincey’s head when they were kids, glued them together, and then decided the perfect finishing touch was to make it as fuckin’ reflective as a goddamn mirror. Which meant it kept catching the light and randomly glinting right in the corner of his vision every damn time he moved his head or flicked his eyes across his phone screen.</p><p>It was annoying as all hell, and honestly a bit humiliating, to realize a stupid shitty <em> vase </em>could put him on edge like this. Unexpected flashes of light in Tora’s peripheral vision usually meant movement he needed to pay attention to, hide from...or take care of, sometimes lethally so. The fact that he’d already been keyed up about spending three uninterrupted days around Poppy and then seeing her so upset earlier certainly wasn’t helping soothe his nerves in any way either. </p><p>It’d been one hour and ten minutes since she’d asked him to leave her room and let her sort through her thoughts in private, and it was bothering Tora more than he wanted to admit that she hadn’t wanted him to stay sitting there with her. And fucking hell, he wasn't even going to pretend he wasn't watching the clock that closely. He was painfully aware of the seconds dragging by, each minute feeling like it took an eternity to pass.</p><p>Poppy had been completely fine when they'd stepped into her room, but by the time he'd set her things down and turned around, she'd retreated into herself. He'd asked if she was okay and gotten absolutely no acknowledgement or response, which had set off a tight, frantic fluttering in his chest. She hadn't even heard him until he'd tapped her shoulder, so lost in her thoughts she'd jumped and looked up in surprise at his touch. Her gaze had been distant, her brow furrowed with regret, grief and bitter anger, jaw clenched tight as tears threatened to spill over. That was a look Tora knew all too well from feeling it on his own face over the years, and seeing it on hers just let him wanting to fuckin' strangle every single person who’d had a hand in making her feel that way.</p><p>It was absolute torture to just sit there twiddling his damn thumbs when all he wanted to do was rush back in, hold her tight, and wipe away every single tear that fell onto that beautiful face of hers. It tore at Tora's heart to see Poppy cry like that, have her hold onto him like she was drowning, and then just let her go and walk out of the room. But she’d asked for some time alone, and hell if he wouldn’t do his best to give her whatever she asked for. </p><p>And sure, <em> logically </em>he knew Poppy wasn’t even twenty feet away, just on the other side of the door across from where he was sitting, but there was something about the tiny woman that brought out a stupidly rash, overly protective, and way too fuckin' emotional side of himself anytime she was around. It was the impulse that drove him to touch her any chance he got, what caused a rush of giddy happiness anytime she smiled at him, the source of the obstinate refusal to ever seriously consider walking away from her again. And right now, that part of Tora was growing increasingly harder to keep in check, becoming louder and more insistent the longer his favorite hamster was out of sight. His many years of maintaining stringent self-control was the only thing still keeping him firmly planted on his bed.</p><p>Tora’s fidgety concern had slowly ratcheted up as the minutes dragged on with excruciating slowness, leaving him practically vibrating with the tension coiling ever tighter in his chest. He was a fuckin’ <em> sniper </em> for christ sake - he could hunker down and wait for whole <em> days </em>without losing his focus, letting the hours roll off him with unflappable calm….but there was something about Bobby that just pulled him off his usually steady and self-assured balance. </p><p>He was a complete sucker for pretty much everything about her, that was for damn sure. He’d quickly grown to appreciate and - yes, he’d already somehow fuckin’ admitted it <em> twice </em>out loud that day so may as well just keep the sapfest going - love many things about the feisty, brave, bold hamster, and he had gotten used to her noise level being in direct contrast to her bite size stature. The woman was never this silent for so damn long, and it was stressing him the hell out.</p><p>There were many words Tora would use to describe Poppy, but “quiet” and “withdrawn” were definitely not on that list. If she was up and moving around, he’d definitely hear the distinctive patter of her dainty feet right away. The woman just immediately drew attention wherever she went, moving through life like an adorable, brightly colored, chatty whirlwind of sunshine and kindness and easy to track noise, charming the pants off everyone she met with her exuberant warm-hearted presence. </p><p>Okay, so maybe he was just a <em> little </em> biased when it came to his assessment of the only woman who’d ever literally knocked him on his ass. She was the only person who'd ever so completely disarmed him and then immediately landed a blow on his face, the only woman he'd ever wanted to spend the night just cuddled up with….but Poppy was definitely noisy, that was just a damn <em> fact. </em> Maybe the tiger had let himself get wrapped around the hamster's tiny little pinky finger just a teensy bit, but that last one was simply an objective observation anyone could make.</p><p>Before he could stop himself, Tora’s eyes flicked over yet again to the door he’d shut so carefully behind him earlier. It was still just as closed as the previous half a dozen times he’d checked. He hadn’t heard the slightest sound since he’d walked out of her room, and he kicked himself for not leaving the door open just a crack. He hadn’t realized until after he’d gotten settled back against the headboard on his bed that all the heavy fabrics around the suite meant any soft noises that managed to filter into his and Quincey’s room would be significantly dampened, leaving him feeling deaf as well as blind. </p><p>Was Poppy okay? Was she crying again, thinking about that fuckface ex of hers? Or was a certain 6'3" thug on her mind? Tora hoped his stumbling attempt at encouragement and support had helped and didn't feel dismissive or condescending. He knew he could come across as uncaringly brusque when he didn't intend to be. Should he knock and ask if she needed anything?</p><p>
  <em> Settle your dumb clingy ass down, you big sappy shit. She told you what she needed and it wasn’t you being all up in her business. She’s right the fuck there, and if Poppylan wants your help, she’ll let you know. Just leave her the hell alone for now, and listen to your own damn advice and relax. How often do you get a day off like this, let alone three of them in a row? </em>
</p><p>Even though Tora wanted nothing more than to utilize his well-honed ability to move completely soundlessly to covertly peek in and check if Poppy was alright, he would keep his ass right the hell there until she said otherwise. Unlike certain other nosy people, he wasn’t going to make himself a nuisance and just barge in on Bobby. There were times when he just wanted to be left the hell alone and not have to interact with anyone until he got his head back on straight. So if she said she needed solitude, he’d make sure no one, including himself, fuckin’ bothered her untl whenever she wanted company. </p><p>The image of her bereft, tear stained face from earlier drifted through his mind again, and Tora scowled. He felt his jaw clench, his lip instinctively curling up into a snarl, a tight ball of anger and helpless sadness rolling heavy in his gut. From what she’d told him with quiet, halting words and what her body language practically shouted, it was infuriatingly clear that Poppy’s shitbag ex certainly hadn’t ever made a habit of respecting her boundaries or making her feel like she was worth listening to. It was plainly obvious that dickwad had cruelly shut her down hard and fast, crushing her tender heart anytime she’d tried to be open with the pain she’d been brave enough to share with Tora. He still couldn’t believe she trusted <em> him </em>enough to show him those scars, bare the places that still hurt so deeply she was brought to silent, bitter tears.</p><p>Christ, he was absolutely terrified at the thought of being that openly vulnerable with anyone, let alone the woman he so desperately wanted to think only the best of him. <em> "You really are much gentler than you look....Just a regular guy." </em>Fuck, Tora wished with every fiber of his being those words were true. She was the one who brought out any gentleness she saw in him - everywhere else in his life that just wasn’t an option, not if he wanted to stay alive. He could be many things for Poppy, but a normal, regular guy was not one of them.</p><p>Her words from earlier settled like a rock in his gut,<em> “And I’m sure you’re just an absolute angel in comparison, right?” </em> She’d been teasing, but it hit far closer to home than she realized. <em> Yeah, I’m an angel all right, sweetheart - a fuckin’ fallen one. My life’s literal hell some days, and I don’t want you getting tangled up in all the shit I can’t get away from. I can’t offer you any of the happiness you deserve, but you give me so much without even trying. I should get out of your life, but I just...can’t do it. It’s like being a blind man seeing the sun for the first time, and I just want to bask in your light for as long as you’ll let me. I’m not a good person, but I can’t help how much I want you to keep treating me like I am. </em></p><p>Tora was afraid that once Poppy knew the full truth about him, learned why he was known as the Legendary Tiger of Ares Street, she wouldn't look at him the same way anymore. He was a legend all right, a blood stained, violent, destructive one that he didn’t want her to ever know. He'd survived torture that had destroyed others and left them broken empty shells, but it would honestly shatter him to see the same judgement, hesitation, and fear in Bobby's eyes that he saw everywhere else he went. Or worse, to have her look at him with fuckin' pity, like he was some pathetic, irreparably damaged thing.</p><p>He could easily banter with her all damn day, come up with one perfectly flustering pervy comment after another without even thinking about it...but his words completely failed him when it came to giving her any more details about his life. “I’ll tell ya some other time,” he’d told her. But what Tora really wanted to say was, “Can it just be fuckin’ never? You’re the <em> one </em>damn person who has ever seen me as a normal person, is it too much to ask that I want you to keep feeling that way?” </p><p>But if she was going to be tangled up with him and work with Quincey, Poppy deserved to know the truth, should know who they both were in the dangerous world they’d never had a choice about living in. She had a choice, and honestly, she should run away as fast as she could from him and the darkness he was trapped in. </p><p>Any time he’d thought about broaching that difficult conversation with her since, Tora just couldn’t get himself to bring it up. The fear and shame choked him, the words dying in his throat when he’d simply tried to say he wanted to talk one-on-one with her. Hell, he’d even attempted to type out more than one text message, hoping that not having to look her in the eye would help, but he’d chickened out each and every time, deleting the stomach churning sentences before he could even fully finish them. </p><p>Tora didn't know how Poppy did it, how she found the strength to be open and honest, even after all the shit she'd been through. She'd been manipulated, cheated on, had her mind absolutely fucked with, apparently been told she wasn't worth a damn as herself...and yet, she still, <em> still </em> looked at the world with hope, still sought to see the good in people, still wore her heart on her sleeve. Apparently hamsters had far more courage and strength than tigers, because she could actually bring herself to open her mouth and share the hard stuff. Even though she'd been trembling with fear, the pain of her past obviously still aching and raw, she'd still somehow managed to push past that, trusting him enough to share the anger, grief, and pain that almost stole her voice and poured out of her in a flood of bitter tears.</p><p>And she’d been so damn <em> scared </em>to talk, everything about her body language practically screaming at him that she was used to being dismissed out of hand and attacked for expressing herself. Poppy probably wasn’t even aware of how she curled defensively in on herself, tucking her face down and away, her shoulders slumping forward as her hands wrapped protectively around her stomach. She hadn’t even been able to bring herself to look him in the fuckin’ eye at first, she’d been so afraid of his response. Tora wished more than anything that it was as easy for him to protect Bobby’s heart from all that bullshit as it was for him to wrap her up in a tight hug. He could assign a security detail of his men to guard her when he couldn't be around, but there wasn't anything he could do to protect her from the pain of her past.</p><p>He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, not even trying to pretend to look at the game on his phone anymore. Tora shoved his hand down into his pants pocket and curled his hand around the strawberry hair tie, tracing his thumb over the bumpy surface of it. </p><p>He’d never wanted to hunt someone down so badly and kick their ass as that piece of shit who’d apparently spent <em> years </em> fucking over Bobby’s head and heart. It would be entirely justified for everything that abusive, manipulative fuck had put her through, but as cathartic as that beating would definitely feel in the moment, Tora knew it would really be more for his benefit than hers. Poppy needed him to be there and just fuckin’ <em> listen </em>to her, show her that she absolutely mattered, help her see that her pain and hurt was valid and not something to be ignored, far more than she needed him to go out and beat up some cheating, pathetic dick for her. </p><p>Hell, he knew perfectly well she could handle herself just fine in that regard, his nose twinging at the memory of her fist connecting with it. If she ever wanted to get a few punches in herself, maybe fuck up that asshole’s nose a little bit, he’d be more than happy to stand back and cheer the feisty hamster on. </p><p>And besides, Tora had enough shit of his own to deal with, he sure as hell didn’t need to fight Poppy’s battles for her - not that she’d let him anyways. She was one mean little hamster and could take care of her own business if she had to. He just wanted to be there to provide moral support...and backup if she needed it. Sometimes there were things you just needed to let the scary 6’3” thug step in to deal with.</p><p>Though apparently what she needed him to do most right now was leave her the hell alone and cool his heels in the next room. Tora supposed that counted as being backup too, if he thought about it. He was here to offer support if she needed it, but Poppy had told him more than once now that she needed space and time to sort things out on her own. He couldn’t do that work for her, even if he wanted to - she’d said she needed to stop running, and she was the only one who could do that for herself. </p><p>But even if he was absolute shit at finding the words, those earnest eyes of hers looking up at him with such openness and trust always leaving his brain scrambling to string even one coherent sentence together, Tora could at the very least be a safe place for her to vent. There had been plenty of times in his life where he’d desperately wished to have just one trusted person he could unihibitedly unload to, someone who was willing to shut up and fuckin’ listen for a little while. He’d acted out during his teenage years, drinking and doing drugs for a time, just to forget for a few brief moments all the torture and abuse and awful shit he was forced to do, that he’d had to silently carry around and pretend didn’t affect him. His circumstances were different, in that if he spoke too loosely to anyone that person was pretty likely to wind up dead, but fuckin’ hell if someone like <em> Bobby </em>should ever feel that alone and unheard. Even if she’d unfortunately already experienced that particular isolation, Tora sure as hell didn’t want her to feel that way ever again. </p><p>Her nervous, halting words replayed in his head, <em> “I think I’m mostly angry that I lost sight of who I was for so long. That I let myself disappear under this person I kept trying to force myself into being, because that’s who I was told over and over again I had to become in order to be accepted or desired….I wasted years of my life trying to define myself by what someone else said I should be, instead of investing in the person I already was and kept trying to pretend I’m not.” </em></p><p>Her words stuck like an arrow into his own heart. Tora knew <em> exactly </em>how she felt, and hated the fact that they had such a shitty thing in common. He didn’t know the details at this point, but it was easy enough to read between the lines of what Poppy had told him so far to piece things together. She should have only ever felt loved, been cherished like the goddamn treasure she was, not fuckin’ manipulated and flippantly played with before being callously tossed aside like some unwanted toy. </p><p>Tora couldn’t help but glance over at her door again. He huffed at himself, irritated at how worked up he was getting over goddamn silence. <em> Jesus fucking christ, get ahold of yourself, you sad pathetic fuck. Knowing her, she probably laid down and then conked out on that squishy ass bed. First time in weeks she’s probably stopped moving long enough to give herself the chance to actually unwind and relax. </em> At least he hoped that was the case, and she hadn’t just been sitting there for over an hour with tears silently streaming down her face. He ran a hand across his mouth, something squeezing painfully in his chest at that mental picture. <em> Fuck, this is not helping. </em></p><p>Tora grumbled at himself and looked back down at his phone to keep dicking around with the game he’d been half heartedly playing. Hell if he was going to take a nap, not if Poppy might need him for anything. Laying down would probably just make him more tense right now anyways. A glint of light suddenly flickered in the corner of his eye yet again, and he almost snarled at the dumb, distracting thing - if it wasn’t so goddamn <em> shiny, </em> he would actually find the damn vase kinda cool. </p><p>At least the flowers themselves weren’t flashy, it was actually a fairly simple arrangement, though entirely too on the nose. He’d immediately narrowed his eyes in suspicion at the two blossoms that had been selected to be displayed on their own together. Peonies and poppies - and there were at least a dozen of each, if Tora had to guess - pretty much the same fuckin’ color as the flowers tattooed down his left arm. Even if there was a duplicate arrangement on the bedside table next to a lightly snoring Quincey, he knew without a shadow of a doubt the conniving little shithead was up to his usual meddling tricks. </p><p>Tora was also confident that the self-appointed “love expert” also had an overly involved hand in what image was currently displayed on the large TV hanging on the wall across the room. He would’ve had to be completely blind to not notice the same image was also on view in Poppy’s suite. It was a close-up shot of a couple kissing surrounded by different shades of gold. Though it was a fuckin’ weird ass, awkward pose, in his opinion. Who the hell made out like that? The poor woman’s head was turned at such an unnatural angle, it made his neck twitch sympathetically just looking at it. Tora guessed it was some well known piece of art, but hell if he knew much, if anything, about that. </p><p>Poppy would probably be able to tell him with her usual fervent delight if he asked about it. <em> Pfft, such a stinkin’ cute nerd. </em> Tora could just imagine those big expressive eyes somehow going even wider with surprise at her finding out he’d never seen the painting before. Her face would then fill with happiness, her cheeks getting tinged with an excited rosy flush, her voice enthusiastically rising at the chance to share her knowledge about something that she enjoyed. </p><p>Honestly, the adorable hamster could read him the goddamn ingredient list off a fuckin’ pack of ramen, and it’d sound like the most interesting thing in the world coming out of her entirely too distracting mouth. Tora just liked hearing her voice filled with bubbly, bright joy when she shared anything with him. He could listen to her all damn day.</p><p>Yup, he had it bad, didn’t he? Fuckin’ ballsy woman had him completely wrapped up in knots. And yet at the same time, it felt like just her mere presence somehow gave Tora the space to truly breathe deep for the first time in….well, he couldn’t even remember anyone else ever being able to put him that much at ease. Something tight and fearful inside of him was able to unwind and release just a bit whenever the sunshine that was Poppylan Wilkes burst through the dark clouds that usually hung heavy around him. He didn’t even have to talk to her - just her lively, genuine personality made a part of him come alive that had felt withered and dead for far too long.</p><p>Hell if he’d ever given so much as two fucks about art or the color of sticky notes before, but somehow her enthusiasm for shit like that was just so damn contagious. The cheerful little hamster made Tora notice and care about all sorts of crap he hadn’t ever bothered to spare even a passing thought for in the past. He’d found himself over the past month noticing all sorts of random shit for the first time in his life when he was out running errands or supposed to be focusing on a job. It was like everywhere he went he saw things that reminded him of Poppy. What the fuck did Quincey call it? Vibes? Yeah, he had total Bobby vibes all the damn time now.</p><p>Not even a week ago, he’d been passing through the trendy North Loop area of downtown, and his eye had caught on some gift shop with a pink awning so bright it practically glowed and big rainbow colored bubble letters across the double doors. He’d wondered if it was new, or if he was just suddenly attuned to that kind of crap because of Bobby’s presence in his life. Tora couldn’t help but slow his pace and glance in the window at the cutesy stationery shit on display as he’d walked past. </p><p>Who knew sticky notes came in <em> multiple </em>smiley face avocado options? Or how many poop shaped ones there were. That one left him scratching his head a bit, but he’d honestly been tempted to buy some for her for when Quincey was being a difficult little shit. It would serve the at times frustrating and overly-demanding author right to be handed editorial notes on a frowny face poop emoji. Poppy was cute enough to get away with it, and had enough sassy attitude for someone three times her height. After watching her handily serve the princess his ass during their drive earlier that day, Tora knew she’d totally be down to put the blonde man in his place with appropriately snarky sticky notes whenever she thought it was warranted.</p><p>He’d been a little too self-conscious to walk into the store that day, and also hadn’t been sure if it’d be totally out of line for him to buy Bobby some random little gifts like that. It seemed like the woman already had enough colorful, sparkly crap on her desk at the office to fill a whole damn storefront herself - did she even want any more? He’d never been in a relationship or had any interest in starting one before - hell, he’d never really been <em> friends </em> with any women for that matter. And Alice definitely did <em> not </em>fuckin’ count - the old harpy was the closest thing he had to a grandmother, profane and meddlesome as she was. Tora had no damn clue whether it was okay to buy a woman you weren’t dating cute shit just because it made you think of her and you thought she’d like it. And he sure as hell wasn’t opening a can of worms on himself by asking Quincey or, god forbid, Alice about it. </p><p>What was he gonna say? <em> “Hey, I’m kinda head over heels for Poppylan, who’s not ready to get into a relationship anytime soon, but I still wanna hang out and spend as much time with her as I can. Should I get her the rainbow poop emoji sticky note pads or a sparkly unicorn gel pen to convey that I’m definitely into her, but will give her as much time as she needs to sort through all that heavy shit and will be there anytime she just needs a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on?” </em>Jesus, he didn’t know who would give him a harder time, and he really didn’t want to find out.</p><p>But fuck it, now that Tora was thinking about it again, he sure as hell was going to stop in that blindingly pink store the next chance he got. Poppy loved that shit, and he wanted to cheer her up after she’d been willing to open up and share so honestly about the heartache weighing her down. Hell, he’d buy her all the turd shaped sticky note pads they had in stock if it made her feel just a little bit better.</p><p>He’d known something was bothering her for the last couple weeks, but hadn’t realized how deep the pain went. It seemed she was just as good as he was at stuffing down the shit that hurt and carrying on like everything was fine. The woman needed something to make her smile after facing her fears like that and dredging all that painful crap up. Maybe he should buy her another muffin while he was at it.</p><p>Speaking of Bobby - yup, it was just Poppy vibes 24/7 in his head - the rosy cheeked, brunette woman being kissed in the painting on the TV looked like she was covered in abstract red flowers, which reminded him of the more typical color the poppies sitting next to him came in. And he certainly wasn’t blind or a fuckin’ idiot - he’d noticed the two pink bouquets next to his and Quincey’s beds and the completely ridiculous, massive amount of colorful flowers prominently on view in Poppy’s room almost as soon as he’d walked into both spaces. It’d taken Tora all of two seconds to zero in on the fact that the same pink peonies and poppies were included in both arrangements. He might not have a green thumb like a certain cute hamster did (who’d had to explain to him what the hell colored thumbs had to do with keeping plants alive) but he could certainly recognize the two distinctive flowers, even if the poppies were in an unusual color. </p><p>Quincey seemed to forget who it was that had spent two solid weeks going out every single day and picking up seemingly endless purchases for him from various greenhouses all around the damn city when he was in full-on research mode for one of his early romance novels. The Legendary Tiger of Ares Street himself, reduced to being a goddamn fuckin’ flower mule all for some smut book to have a bouquet of appropriately suggestive flowers show up on page 69. Tora had hauled literal car loads of flowers in a mind boggling variety of shapes and colors, and even a few random house plants, up to the blonde man’s penthouse. The fuckin’ demanding princess had claimed he couldn’t truly capture the meaning of each blossom for his story if he didn’t experience them in their full sensory glory in person first. The things he did for that spoiled ass man sometimes. </p><p>Tora rolled his eyes at the lengths Quincey had gone to for barely a paragraph’s worth of text, and the kicker was, it’d been for a passage that didn’t have any bearing whatsoever on the overall plot. Sure, the <em> next </em>book had been set almost entirely in a flower shop, so all of that hands-on research had actually paid off, but it’d been a hell of a lot of work for the piddling amount any flowers actually showed up in that first story. And honestly, how many flowers did someone really need to give to communicate “I want to fuck you senseless”?</p><p>Goddamn authors and their fuckin’ weird obsessions. The readers weren’t gonna give a rat’s ass whether a flower actually came from Mexico or Morrocco or if had trailing leaves or ones that were compact and fuzzy, but fuck if the princess didn’t insist on getting lost down these rabbit trails of research until he was well and truly satisfied that he had the correct information for a single sentence. Wasn’t the whole point of reading that smutty romance shit to get out of the real world for a bit? What did Bobby call it in one of the meetings he’d sat in on? “A willing suspension of disbelief” or something like that.</p><p> Tora was so relieved and grateful that Quincey had Poppy to help with all that shit now. He’d felt like he had flowers coming out of his goddamn ears for almost a month, even grudgingly taking several arrangements back to his place to clear up space in the romance author’s penthouse as the blossoms continued to pile up. His apartment had reeked of the pungent smell of lilies and roses for almost a week after he’d finally thrown the wilted plants away. </p><p>And Tora had been forced to learn far more about flowers and their associated meanings than he ever wanted to (which, for the record, was none) at Quincey’s relentless insistence. Like he gave so much as a single flying fuck that red roses stood for love while yellow ones meant friendship, or that white chrysanthemums were given to offer sympathy and those tiny little green ones were a sign of new beginnings or some crap like that. He didn’t need to know all that shit to provide decent beta reading feedback. </p><p>And when the hell would he possibly ever have any use for that information in his life? It wasn’t like he could assemble a bouquet that meant, “I hope you die an incredibly slow, agonizing death for all the shit you put me through, you dirty rotten bastard,” that he could throw into Martin’s arrogant face. Were there flowers that stood for “You deserve to be fed slowly, feet first, into a wood chipper, you evil psychotic piece of shit. There are honestly no words to convey how utterly I despise you,” that he could shove at Vincent? And he was confident there wasn’t a single plant that he could drive into Claude’s fuckin’ eye that communicated, “I hate you with every fiber of my being, and your continued existence lowers the IQ of this whole planet as long you are here wasting oxygen.” Was there even a flower that simply said, “Fuck you” - and definitely not in the fun sex way?</p><p>Tora huffed out an annoyed sigh and finally threw in the towel on trying to do anything on his phone, chucking it to the side on one of the many pillows littering his bed. The gratingly shiny vase continually catching his eye was apparently a distraction his brain just couldn’t tune out today, and he didn’t like the dark thoughts it was dragging up. <em> No clan bullshit this weekend, remember? You said it yourself, just leave that festering pile of crap behind for a few days. Can’t change anything about any of it right now anyways, so just focus on hanging out with Poppylan this weekend and having some fun for once in your goddamn life. Who knows when, more likely if you’ll ever get a chance to spend so much uninterrupted time with her like this again.  </em></p><p>So while he was waiting for her to emerge from whatever the hell she was up to, he may as well just sit here and look at the damn flowers then, since they were apparently what the self-appointed matchmaker, chief meddler, and giant pain in his ass wanted Tora to focus on anyways. </p><p>He supposed he could get up and stretch out on the large couch across the room instead, but one, he was the goddamn Tiger of Ares Street, and he was <em> not </em> going to admit defeat to a fuckin’ <em> vase </em>of all things. And two, the damn piece of furniture faced completely away from the door and was situated smack dab right in front of floor to ceiling windows. Even if they had frosted glass that meant they were impossible to see through, just the thought of sitting there for any length of time, even fully awake with his eyes wide open, made him twitchy as fuck.</p><p>Plus, Tora didn’t really want to move - he was actually comfortable...and if not for that stupid ass vase, he honestly wouldn’t mind Poppy’s namesake flower being all up in his face like this. Hell if he would ever admit it to Quincey, but the poppies were just as cute and dainty as the woman that carried their name. He wondered if she had a layered skirt that looked like the soft, ruffled petals - he bet anything it’d be fuckin’ adorable and sexy as hell on her if she did. </p><p>The pink flowers also reminded Tora of Poppy’s rosy cheeks....well, the color they were whenever he just started getting her all worked up. It was that moment right before she flared into full on tomato red embarrassment, which usually culminated in her squawking indignantly and flailing at him or squeaking and running away. Pfft, pfft, it was just so damn <em> easy </em>to rile her up and honestly way too much fun.</p><p>He shook his head ruefully at himself. Fuckin’ hell, how hard had he fallen for her that he’d not only noticed but somehow memorized the different shades of pink and red the hamster’s cheeks cycled through when she was flustered? If Quincey could read his thoughts right now, Tora knew he would never hear the end of it. The motherfuckin’ Tiger of Ares Street, the man who’d stared down literal psychopaths without flinching, pining over some five foot nothing woman’s soft, pinchable cheeks and how much he wanted to see them flush for him every single damn day.</p><p>Tora shot a glance over at Quincey, just to confirm the blonde man was indeed sleeping and not just doing an amazingly good job at acting. The little shit was normally incredibly impatient, but he had perfected the art of pretending to be asleep for long periods of time, just to catch his older brother and frequent tormentor unawares in the act of something embarrassing to razz him for later. </p><p>Satisfied with the fact that the vain man would not actually drool that excessively if he was awake, Tora glanced down at his forearm - he could see just the edge of a peony peeking out from where his hoodie sleeve had ridden up. He pushed his sleeve higher and held his left forearm up next to the bouquet. It was a little unsettling how accurate of a match the colors were. He’d had no clue poppies even came in that shade of pink. How the hell had Quince managed to track down both peonies and poppies that perfectly matched the pink flowers in his tattoo?</p><p>Tora snorted and dropped his arm, tugging his hoodie cuff back into place to completely cover his ink once again. Fuck if the princess would have actually put in all the leg work himself to procure those fuckin’ flowers. He forgot sometimes, because Quincey so rarely took advantage of it, the vast resources readily available at the snap of a finger to anyone with the last name Balthuman. </p><p>Tora knew all too well that he was considered just another one of those resources to be called upon at a moment’s notice by Quincey’s completely heartless father - his hands were stained with what he’d been forced to do for that sick motherfucker almost his whole damn life. Tora was the one covered in blood and drowning in self loathing, while Vincent got to walk away spotless, continuing on with his cushy life like he didn’t leave a crushing wake of dark despair behind him. </p><p>So if the Balthuman heir wanted to utilize that power and prestige just to track down some matching flowers to press his point that Tora and Poppy would be good together? Well, that certainly wasn’t the worst thing in the world. When his ersatz younger brother made his mind up about something, especially if it was in the service of his idea of “helping,” the man was doggedly relentless, sparing no expense in his effort to make it happen. Even if he was annoying as hell at times, Quincey meant well and was one of the few people who actually gave a fuck about Tora as a person. Vincent’s son knew full well what his de facto older brother was capable of...and what he’d gone through to become his father’s favorite attack dog. And Quince also knew what it meant to find even a tiny shred of true happiness in such a joyless, suffocating life.  </p><p>Tora gingerly pinched a poppy petal between his thumb and forefinger - the damn thing felt about as thin as tissue paper. He spared a silent chuckle for the poor, unlucky bastard who’d been assigned the unenviable task of procuring these specific flowers to coordinate perfectly with the color of the peonies on his arm. Had Quincey provided a color swatch that needed to be matched exactly? Knowing the blonde man as well as he did, the answer was most assuredly a big, fat, resounding yes. Probably even created his own fuckin' custom color that he named Thug In Love Pink or some shit like that.</p><p>God, if only he could snap his fingers that easily and know without a shadow of a doubt that he could keep Poppy safe. For as feisty and fierce as she was, she couldn’t do anything about the target that settled squarely on her back anytime she was around him. Even here, a long car ride removed from the never ending clan strife of Narin City, Tora couldn’t let himself fully relax or completely drop his guard. He'd always had to be constantly on alert to protect himself from surprise attacks, but when it came to Poppy, he was even more vigilant to head off any brewing threats at the first hint of trouble. He didn’t value his own worthless life all that much, but hers was...well, he couldn’t even handle so much as the <em> thought </em>of Bobby’s brilliant light being snuffed out.  </p><p>Tora absent mindedly rubbed the petal in his grasp, but suddenly flinched as he felt the flimsy thing unexpectedly tear right down the middle from what he’d thought was just a slight touch. Damn thing was so fuckin’ delicate. Fragile. Easily ruined by his destructive presence. </p><p>He gingerly cupped the damaged flower, the torn petal hanging loose like a broken limb. If he was really as good of a person as Poppy thought he was, he’d get the fuck out of her life to keep her safe. But he just...couldn’t. She was the sun, and he was a lonely little ball of ice and rock that got himself completely captured in her orbit before he’d realized what was happening. At this point, Tora couldn’t break free again even if he’d wanted to. And though falling for her was most likely going to leave him broken hearted in the end, he would bask in her sunlight for as long as she let him.</p><p>He never wanted Poppy to feel even a hint of remorse for his presence in her life….desperately hoped she’d never regret the day they’d first crossed paths completely out of the blue. They’d just kept bumping into each other without even trying, randomly stumbling across the other three times in less than 24 hours. Quincey couldn’t even have orchestrated it that well.</p><p>But there was that fearful, broken voice at the forefront of Tora’s mind that reminded him why he usually kept everyone so carefully at arm’s length, the faces of those he’d been unable to protect drifting through his thoughts like the ghosts most of them now were. </p><p>Poppy had given him hope that there might be another way for someone like him to live...but was that even possible or was he just setting them both up for disappointment and disaster?</p><p>His mouth flattened into a thin line, but he was gratefully distracted from his gloomy thoughts a moment later as the familiar sound of a dainty pair of feet finally hit the floor with a gentle thump.</p><p>Tora immediately released the poppy petal and pulled his hand away from the bouquet, snatching his phone back up from where he’d tossed it on the pillow. He definitely didn’t want Bobby to walk in on him with his paws all over her namesake flower. </p><p>He huffed out a relieved sigh as he made out the soft sounds of the hamster padding across her room at a slow pace, giving him plenty of time to settle himself into place. He carefully slid over towards the left side of his bed, trying not to make it look like he had intentionally put distance between himself and the flowers, like he hadn’t even noticed they were there. Because wouldn’t that just be the icing on the shit cake of getting all worked up and on edge over the past hour - making a damn fool of himself in front of Poppy and handing Quincey further ammunition to annoy them both with for the next two days. </p><p>Christ, that was the last thing he wanted to deal with this weekend: constantly hearing at every available opportunity about how he’d been “caught red handed fingering Poppy’s flower,” or some bullshit like that. The princess just didn’t know when to lay off sometimes, and Tora didn’t want Poppy to be barraged with constant innuendo.</p><p>Okay, scratch that - Tora was fine with constant innuendo as long as <em> he </em>was the one dispensing it, but he also actually knew when to shut the fuck up and not make Bobby uncomfortable by pushing it too damn far. Though some of the things he jokingly said to her were much closer to the truth than she realized. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to take her somewhere private and kiss her breathless with no interruptions, run his hands all over those incredibly distracting curves, and get her clothes off at some point. But Poppy was far more than just some cute little busty chick he wanted to fool around with. He would never callously use her like that - just the thought of it turned his stomach. </p><p>Sure, he was undeniably attracted to her - okay, fine, completely overcome to the point of stupefied speechlessness by her beauty, had been from the moment he first laid eyes on the angel of a woman crawling out of those bushes that day in Moonbright. Sex with her would definitely be something he knew he’d never forget, and Tora was confident he could make it a <em> very </em> memorable, pleasurable experience for her as well….but she wasn’t ready for anything more than just being friends right now. And friends with benefits just wasn’t an option for him when it came to his Bobby. Once upon a time he might have been able to keep his heart closed off and settled for being fuck buddies with someone, but <em> hell the fuck no </em> could he ever put Poppylan into that category. He couldn’t do that to her, couldn’t do that to <em> himself. </em> He wanted <em> all </em>of her, not just her body. </p><p>His heart was already involved, lovestruck dumbass that he was, and honestly, Tora didn’t want to ever try to turn off his feelings for her. Everything he did with the unforgettable woman felt like it meant something important, each interaction, every look and touch, however brief, burned permanently into his mind in bright, vivid color. He’d been captivated by Poppy at first sight, but he’d quickly discovered there was so much about her to love, all the different aspects of who she was that kept drawing him back to her. She wasn’t another notch in his belt, and she certainly didn’t treat him that way either. Sometime in the last month and a half, she’d come to mean the world to him, and she was absolutely worth waiting for.</p><p>For now, Tora was just happy to spend time with her in any capacity. The car ride earlier that day was the longest uninterrupted stretch of time they’d had together yet, and even with Quincey being a whiny shit in the back, Tora had loved having Poppy that close for so long without any worries about mafia shit suddenly popping up. The further they’d gotten from Narin City, the easier he felt himself breathe. Once they were out of town, he’d actually had to hold himself back almost the whole damn time from reaching over to pinch her cheek, but he knew there were still two more days of their trip. There’d be plenty of chances to rile her up when the far too observant romance author wasn’t right the fuck there to take notes for his damn stories.</p><p>Tora was looking forward to taking any and all opportunities that presented themselves to get a rise out of the feisty hamster that weekend; being able to make that flustered blush flare brightly across her skin was immensely satisfying in and of itself. At this point, he was pretty confident he knew how far to take his teasing, and where the lines were that he definitely shouldn’t cross. And as far as he could tell - and he was damn fuckin’ good at reading people - Poppy enjoyed him joking around with her, seemed to like the snarky banter they shared as much as he did. Anytime she got annoyed with him, it felt more like she was just mad she couldn’t come up with a good enough comeback to get him flustered.</p><p>
  <em> Sorry, sweetheart, it’ll take more than some sassy ass comment to get this tiger to flush as brightly as you do. You’re gonna have to up your game a hell of a lot more than that to throw me off enough to leave me fuckin’ blushing at you. </em>
</p><p>Tora listened to Poppy’s little hamster feet pattering around, the footsteps growing fainter as she walked further away from the door. He’d thought she was coming over to their room, but she seemed intent on staying in her suite for the time being. <em> Probably exploring and getting into shit, </em>he told himself, trying to reassure that insecure, fearful side of himself that she wasn’t trying to avoid him. </p><p>Over the next few minutes, his initial suspicion was thankfully confirmed as he heard her poke around, the sound of cabinet doors softly opening and closing. Something in Tora relaxed at hearing Poppy be her usual inquisitive self as she wandered around her room, little sounds of approval or confusion drifting over to him.</p><p>He heard her happily humming to herself for a minute, and was tempted to poke his head in now that he knew she was up and feeling better. But she’d asked him to leave her be, and he’d honor that request - she was the one who decided when the door got to be opened up again.</p><p>Tora snorted in amusement a few moments later when he caught a gasp followed by a faint, slightly echoey, “Oh my god, this place is huge!” Sounded like the hamster had discovered how expansive and tricked out the bathroom was in a fancy place like this. He’d taken a detour to piss before flopping onto his bed earlier and could only roll his eyes at the extravagant waste of space. As long as it had a toilet, a shower, and somewhere to wash his hands, he just didn’t care what other fuckin’ bells and whistles a bathroom had. He assumed Poppy’s was just as over-the-top as the one in his and Quincey’s suite. </p><p> And speaking of innuendo, Tora wished she was close enough for him to follow up her comment by murmuring a perfectly appropriate pervy one right near her ear - it was already there on the tip of his tongue waiting to come out without him even trying. She just made it so damn easy. One of these days, he was going to get the delightfully easy to fluster woman to go red right down to her fingertips. His personal best so far was making her blush all the way up to the very top of her head. And maybe he was just a selfish, greedy fucker, but Tora wanted to be the only one who ever got to tease Poppy so freely, make her that flustered, cause her to blush so deeply.</p><p> Damnit, even if they weren’t together, and were just friends - <em> for now, </em> whispered a soft hopeful voice that had just started piping up within the past month - she was still <em> his </em>feisty, scrappy hamster. Hell if Tora was ever going to share the particular little smile that always briefly lit up her face and melted his heart whenever he called her “Bobby.” </p><p>Even if nothing more ever happened between them, if she just wanted to be his friend and that was all, she would always be the cute, nerdy little ball of sunshine that brought his shriveled heart back to life, as sappy and fuckin’ cheesy as that sounded. If all Tora ever got to be for her was a friend - and fuckin' hell, he desperately wanted more than that, while also fervently thanking whatever god might be listening that he got to spend any time with her at all - Poppy would <em> always </em> mean something far more to him than that. She was special just for having brought such unexpected hope and light into his life, when he’d pretty much given up on ever experiencing anything besides the darkness he’d lived in for so long. She was the goddamned shining angel who’d stumbled directly into his path, and Tora would <em> never </em>regret meeting her...even if in the end she eventually chose to walk away and leave him with nothing but a broken heart.</p><p>He was used to calculating risks, taking stock of a situation and its potential outcomes before he jumped in swinging or opened his mouth. Sometimes the smarter move was simply not to engage at all and walk away before he could get hurt. It was how he’d survived so long in a world full of circling, ravenous sharks just waiting for a moment’s hesitation or weakness to strike. Sometimes the best way to win a fight was to not get into one in the first place.</p><p>But with Poppy, Tora didn’t want to hold back or coldly calculate his chances of success. And hell if he was going to walk away from her ever again. He’d tried to get out of her life once, and they’d been thrown back together in less than a day. He wasn't strong enough or that selfless to do it twice. And he knew in all honesty he probably couldn't have kept himself away for long anyways, pathetic lovestruck fucker that he was. It’d been torture trying to fully cut her light out of his life, the stress of feeling like he’d just lost the most amazing woman he’d ever met so overwhelming it’d made him deliriously sick for the first time in years. </p><p>As pissed off and scared as he’d been to see her getting tangled up with fuckin’ Quincey that night at Gudrun’s, he’d slept hard and heavy the rest of that night and most of the next day simply from being around Poppy once again. Even though they’d fought, yelling at each other so soon after they’d shared such a meaningful evening together, there had been a part of Tora overjoyed at just being able to see the fiery, ballsy woman and talk to her in any capacity. If he hadn’t been so damn sick and out of it, he would’ve probably been taken aback more at how fiercely her eyes flared when they met his in that moment when she’d snapped back at him.</p><p>He’d been weirdly proud to see how the feisty hamster stood up for herself and easily held her own against him. The tiny woman was fuckin’ fearless, her iron will and steely determination to succeed no matter what obstacles fell into her way was honestly impressive and sexy as hell. Tora had been a fuckin' awful, demanding, moody jackass to her, and she didn't give him an inch, going so far as to call him a rude asshole directly to his face about it the next day. She just...wasn't afraid of him, even when he was riled up and spitting mad.</p><p>And she hadn’t looked away. Damn woman just stared him down, not budging an inch. Quincey was right, his words to Tora at the costume place echoing back through his mind, <em> “She’s gone toe to toe with you and held her own without so much as batting an eye. How many people have the courage to do that?” </em>Tora snorted to himself. Poppylan I-have-balls-of-fuckin-steel Wilkes, that was who. She might be tiny and disarmingly cute, but she sure as hell wasn’t anywhere near as fragile or prone to wilt as the flowers that carried her name.</p><p>He heard her sneeze in the next room with an incredibly dainty little “heechu!” <em> So damn cute. How does she manage to even sound adorable when she fuckin’ sneezes? Squeaks just like a goddamn hamster. </em>Tora sounded more like a small explosion going off anytime he sneezed, and had startled both small children and old ladies to the point of tears on more than one occasion when he unexpectedly let loose.</p><p>Suddenly Poppy’s footsteps grew louder, quickly scampering back over towards him, and a moment later he saw the door pull open a few inches and then pause. A pair of brown eyes hesitantly peeked through the small opening she'd made, scanning the room. She glanced at the still sound asleep Quincey and then over at Tora, her face breaking into a delighted grin as her eyes landed on him. He couldn't help but smile back at her.</p><p><em> Christ, how is she so damn cute all the fuckin’ time? </em> he asked himself for the millionth time since he’d had the incredibly good fortune to fall into Poppy’s path. Tora had never believed in luck or fate or karma or any of that bullshit, but hell if that smile of hers just didn’t make him feel like the luckiest bastard in the whole wide world whenever it was directed at him. </p><p>Poppy swung the door open all the way and bounded over to Tora. She skidded to a stop on his left, her knees bumping hard against the mattress as her feet caught in the plush carpet. She lost her balance and pitched forward, practically tumbling into his lap with her forward movement, throwing her hands out as she tried to catch herself. He instinctively threw out a hand to keep her from falling flat on her face, steadying her with a careful grip on her upper arm just as her hands smacked down onto his thigh.</p><p>"Well shit, Bobby, didn't know ya wanted to get into bed with me that badly," Tora said with a smirk, raising his eyebrows suggestively at her.</p><p>“Har har, can it, you old perv. You know perfectly well it was an accident,” Poppy grumbled, a blush briefly dusting the apples of her cheeks as she snatched her hands off his leg and scowled at him. But her eyes still danced with excitement at whatever she'd run in to share about. </p><p>“But oh my god, Tora, did you see the bathroom yet?!” she loudly whispered, obviously being careful to place her hands firmly on the bed as she leaned in closer to him, her face brimming with delight. Tora had the thought that if Bobby was a puppy, her tail would be wagging right off her ass at that moment from her enthusiasm. </p><p>“The shower has like 5 showerheads, it’s totally tricked out! And it has this cool curvy bench thing I think you can lay down on, though do people actually take naps in there? Also I think there might be color changing lights, which is kinda weird but also pretty cool. Oh, and there’s also this massive soaking tub that I could practically do laps in. I wish I had a week here just to try them out multiple times,” she breathlessly chattered at him, her voice rising as her eyes widened.</p><p>Tora chuckled at her exuberance. He saw his opening and he couldn’t resist going for it. She just set herself up so easily. She'd barely even reacted to his comment a moment ago, and he needed to see that blush of hers out in full force. </p><p>“Oh yeah, Bobby? I know something else massive you can try out,” he purred seductively, letting his dimples peek out as he slowly smiled and looked at her through his eyelashes.</p><p>It had the immediate effect he was hoping for: Poppy squeaked, gulped hard, turned bright red, and then flailed at him with the arm he wasn’t holding. “Tora!” she shrieked incredulously, her bright blush flowing down her neck and across her chest. </p><p>She caught herself and shot a worried glance over at Quincey, but the blonde man hadn't moved, apparently still soundly sleeping. “You’re absolutely incorrigible, you know that?!” she hissed at a much lower volume, jabbing sharply at his sternum.</p><p>Tora snickered and grabbed her hand, holding it firmly against his chest to forestall any further attempts to poke at him. "Ya always use such fancy words to call someone a pervert, sweetheart, or am I just special like that?" he said smoothly, fighting to hold back a smugly satisfied grin at the fresh wave of flustered red that burned across her indignantly puffed out cheeks. </p><p>Poppy glared at him and sharply sucked in a breath, drawing herself up as she obviously prepared to snap back. But whatever likely hilariously sassy response she was about to let loose was unfortunately cut off by Quincey loudly groaning and slapping his forehead. </p><p>“Oh my goooood, Honey, what is <em> wrong </em> with you?! <em> That’s </em> what you’re going to go with - just peppering the poor woman with more of your crassly suggestive remarks yet again? Honestly, could you be any more unoriginal? All those years of beta reading, and that’s the only thing that stuck in your brain? Gah, all that deep emotional insight and romantic inspiration just completely wasted. Ugh, Poppy, be a dear and slap that complete philistine over there for me, would you?” he huffed, flinging his hands defeatedly up in the air.</p><p>“Don’t even try to say yer not tucking that shit away for later. We both know how much free dialogue I give ya,” Tora muttered. He knew full well Q.B. Noyouko had poached plenty of his “crassly suggestive remarks” over the years to spice up his stories. <em> Honestly should get some damn royalties for how much he uses me in his damn books, </em> he thought grumpily. </p><p>It wasn’t a coincidence that many, if not most of the male leads in Quincey’s stories ended up bearing more than just a passing resemblance to Tora. He suddenly wondered if Poppy had picked up on that fact just yet, and if she hadn’t, he really wanted to be there to watch the flustered explosion of bright red that would burst across her face at the realization. Maybe he should tell her the next time he got to hang out at her place, he thought, mentally grinning at himself. Make sure anytime she read her collection of dirty books with their spines facing in that she’d think of him. Well, he could do that <em> if </em>he ever got invited to hang out there again, a sour voice cautioned at the back of his mind.</p><p>“I taught you so much better than this, booboo,” Quincey sighed mournfully, completely ignoring Tora’s comment as he rolled his head to level an unimpressed look down his nose over at the older man. </p><p>“What delusional fantasy planet are you living on, Princess? Don’t make me fuckin’ laugh. <em> You? </em> Teaching <em> me? </em> About what - how to be an annoying, spoiled dumbass that won’t shut up?” Tora said disbelievingly, squinting over at the blonde man. “If there was someone actually teaching anything useful, it was <em> me </em> showing <em> you </em>how not to get ya stupid crybaby ass kicked.”</p><p>Quincey snorted disdainfully. “Oh, is that what we’re calling you ambushing me at all hours of the night and day for years on end like some creepy, violent, shadow goblin? ‘Teaching moments’ from Professor Jerkface every time Dad wasn’t around?” he groused, doing brusque air quotes. “More like Tora’s poor, defenseless punching bag getting the shit kicked out of him at every available opportunity. Ugh, I need some Tylenol, my head hurts just thinking about all those bruises.”</p><p>“Dunno what yer complaining about, Quince. Just made sure ya stayed sharp and on ya toes. I’m a, what do ya call it, hands-on instructor. Had to demonstrate what to watch out for and the proper technique to defend yerself to make sure ya really got it,” Tora said blithely, blinking innocently at his younger brother as he fought to keep a mischievous grin off his face. </p><p>Quincey huffed out a scornful sound. “Riiight. Because I really needed to receive that many ‘hands-on demonstrations’ to learn what an unexpected punch in the back of the head feels like, while I practically peed my pants in fear of constant sneak attacks,” the blonde man grumbled, rolling over onto his side and crossing his arms with an annoyed pout. He scowled, grumpily narrowing his eyes at Tora for a moment, and then his eyes flicked to Poppy before popping back up to linger thoughtfully on his older brother’s face. </p><p>Tora felt any trace of a smile on his face fall away as he saw the blonde man’s mouth curve up into a devious grin, obviously preparing to launch into his latest round of irritating bullshit. He just couldn’t resist poking the tiger every chance he got, forgetting yet again that said tiger had claws and knew how to fuckin’ use them.</p><p>Thankfully, his years of growing up with the pesky dipshit had prepared Tora well to head things off this time, the younger man not realizing he’d already handed his older brother the win this go around. </p><p>“Clean ya stupid face off, Princess, ya got fuckin’ drool all over yerself again,” Tora snapped at him. “Ya like a damn toddler. Drool so fuckin’ much, I should just buy ya a bib one of these days.”</p><p>“I do not drool!” Quincey vehemently protested, even as he rapidly scrubbed a hand back and forth across his mouth. </p><p>“It’s like watching one of those droopy-faced Mastiffs just slobber all over itself,” Tora said dryly, raising his eyebrows conspiratorially at Poppy while Quincey was briefly distracted. He nodded his head towards the blonde man now glaring daggers at him as he went on with his best poker face, “Ya should see him when he’s been asleep for longer, sweetheart. Gets a puddle around his whole damn head like a tiny lake. Just covered in spit all the way down his damn neck. Honestly should just sleep on a sponge for how much he drools. Surprised he hasn’t managed to drown himself in it yet...unfortunately.” He looked at Poppy solemnly as he went on, “One of these days though, I’m sure it’ll happen. Can only keep my fingers crossed and hope.”</p><p>“God, you’re so mean!” Quincey said, rolling away to the opposite edge of his bed and marching off to the bathroom as he grumbled under his breath. A second later, they heard the sound of the bathroom door forcefully pulled shut. </p><p>Poppy bit her lip, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. She looked up at Tora, her eyes full of humorous disbelief. “Does he really drool that much?” she whispered.</p><p>“Eh, suppose it’s a little mean to compare him to a Mastiff. Those dogs are way better looking than his ugly mug,” Tora said, breaking into a wide grin.</p><p>“I heard that!!” Quincey screeched at them from the bathroom.</p><p>“Then fuckin’ turn on the fan to drown us out, ya eavesdropping little shit! Goddamnit, I’m not even talking to ya!” Tora yelled back. “How the hell he manages to even hear <em> that </em>when he apparently can’t hear me yelling at him it’s time to fuckin’ go somewhere when we’re in the same damn room...” he grumbled, trailing off into an annoyed huff.</p><p>Poppy nervously giggled, her cheeks going pink again as she dropped her eyes down from his face. Tora shot a concerned glance at her, wondering for half a second if he’d scared her with his outburst at Quincey...before he suddenly realized he still had one hand gripping her arm with the other clutching her tiny hand to his chest. Both of her knees were pressed against the side of his thigh, her face brought closer to his from him capturing her prodding hand. How did he always pull her so damn close without even thinking about it?</p><p>He was sure as hell not going to show how flustered he was right then. Tora had spent years mastering the art of maintaining a solid poker face - he was determined not to crack over the little hamster, distractingly cute as she was when she bit her lip like that. Though lately, he had to be honest he was finding it harder to keep his impassive expression in place the more time he spent around her. <em> Strike first before she realizes how much she’s getting to you. </em></p><p>“Whatsa matter, Bobby, ya look a little red. Getting too warm? Maybe ya should take some layers off,” he teased, squeezing her hand a little tighter as he smirked at her. </p><p>The hamster was ready to play hardball though. She arched a brow and coolly met his eyes without so much as a flinch. “You know, I <em> was </em>coming over to ask if you wanted to go grab some bubble tea with me, but now I’m thinking maybe I’ll just leave you two squabbling children here and go on my own,” she sniffed at him.</p><p>The bathroom door suddenly slammed into the wall with a bang, causing both Tora and Poppy to jump, the woman letting loose a startled shrill squeak, clutching at her chest as Quincey flung himself back into the room. Poppy definitely would have tumbled right off the bed from the sudden commotion if not for Tora still holding firmly onto her. </p><p>The blonde man squealed excitedly, “Did someone say bubble tea?!” at the same time that Tora, completely befuddled, said, “The fuck is bubble tea?”</p><p>Both Poppy and Quincey stilled and blinked at Tora in open mouthed shock for a second before the hamster managed to recover her voice first. “Okay, one, I thought you said you were tired and needed to rest all day today,” Poppy said, swiveling around to point accusingly at the blonde man.</p><p>“I found my second wind?” he said with a hopeful, nervous grin at the arch look she was giving him.</p><p>“And two,” Poppy continued, her voice rising in disbelief as she turned back to stare wide eyed at Tora again, “how can you call yourself a Millennial and not know what bubble tea is?! Besides avocado toast and, I don’t know, blush pink stuff, it’s one of the defining things of our generation.”</p><p>“Aren’t you Gen Z though?” Quincey started to say as Tora muttered, “Don’t call myself that.”</p><p>“Shh, that’s besides the point right now,” she said airily, cutting them both off as she waved her hand dismissively. She slid her hand and arm free from Tora’s grasp and settled her hands firmly on his shoulders, staring hard at him as she went on completely straight faced, “What matters is that Tora here has somehow gone his whole life without ever experiencing the joy and delight of drinking bubble tea, and we need to rectify that oversight right the fudge <em> now, </em> Quincey.”</p><p>Tora squinted suspiciously at the predatory gleam that had suddenly flared in both sets of normally sweet tempered eyes now looking at him like they were preparing to pounce. His bullshit detector started loudly going off as Quincey sauntered far too casually over towards the bed. </p><p>“Why do I suddenly get the feeling ya not gonna let me say no to whatever the hell that shit is?” he muttered at them, leaning back leerily from Poppy as she schooched closer to him. This was not what he’d had in mind when he envisioned the feisty woman climbing into a bed with him.</p><p>“It’s not shit, Tora! It’s really good - you’ll totally like it!” she said, patting him reassuringly on one shoulder while keeping a firm grasp on him with her other hand. </p><p>“Yeah, no, I think I’ll pass on bubbles in my tea or whatever the fuck it is. Fine with my green tea just the way it is, thanks,” Tora grumbled, trying to anchor himself back against the headboard as he warily kept his eye on Quincey edging closer to the foot of the bed. What the fuck were these two trying to get him to drink? </p><p>“How can you say that when you don’t even know what it is, Honey? Where’s your sense of culinary exploration, experiencing new flavors and textures, going on a palatory adventure?” the blonde man said as he casually leaned down and put his hands on the bed, blinking innocently up at Tora. “You need to get out of your box and try new things. Expand your sensory horizons a little.”</p><p>“Why ya both acting so fuckin’ weird if it’s so damn amazing then?” Tora said, trying not to nervously flick his gaze between them. What the hell was going on? It was like a switch had suddenly flipped and the two softies had been replaced with a pair of sneaky, conniving, stone-cold mercenaries.</p><p>“Look, ya can just go get your bubble tea shit, and I’ll hang out here ‘til ya get back. It’s fine,” Tora said, trying to plant his body more firmly into the far too soft bed. Unfortunately there was nothing solid for him to really anchor himself to.</p><p>“Nope, not an option this weekend, good sir!” Poppy chirped, rising to her knees and leaning in towards him even more. Her chest was way too fuckin’ close to his face, and Tora was having trouble focusing on what Quincey was up to. The fiesty, tempting woman bounced, fuckin’ <em> bounced, </em>as she completely filled his vision, and Tora swallowed hard as her heaving tits grabbed all his attention. Poppy somehow managed to get even closer, sliding her hands down his arms to grab his wrists as she smirked at him, a blush sprinkling across her face giving away her nerves. Fuckin’ woman had to know exactly what she was doing right then. No way in hell she was being that flirtatious on accident.</p><p>Poppy grinned cheerily as she said, “We’re here to have fun, remember? So you have to come with us and try it, at least once, just to see what all the excitement is about!” She leaned in, just barely brushing herself up against his left arm. She took in a breath, and Tora felt her ample chest press against his bicep. </p><p>“Uh,” his brain was shorting out and he couldn’t think straight, his tongue didn’t want to work all of a sudden. Wasn’t he supposed to be keeping an eye on Quincey for some reason? He blinked and swallowed again, trying to get some blood flowing back up to his brain. “Yeeaah?...I mean,” he shook himself mentally, “nah I’m good, sweetheart. Dunno what game ya playing at right now, but--<em>Jesusfuckinchrist!” </em></p><p>Before he could finish his sentence, Quincey and Poppy struck like they’d somehow coordinated their attack, the blonde man latching onto Tora’s legs and yanking him right off the bed as Poppy threw herself over his arms to prevent him from fighting back. </p><p>A second later Tora felt himself hitting the floor with a thump as Quincey smugly cackled and dropped his legs, smartly stepping back a couple paces. Poppy came along for the ride down with him again, though thankfully the landing was a hell of a lot softer this time, the plush carpeted floor providing a more forgiving surface than the hardass concrete that morning. Even with the softer impact, his tailbone and upper back twinged in protest at the repeated falls with the hamster in tow in one day.</p><p>Poppy giggled breathlessly, her enticingly soft, curvy body distractingly pressed into his chest for the second damn time that day. And it was the fuckin’ annoying ass shitstain’s fault <em> yet again. </em> Tora growled in frustration as the sneaky shit pushed herself up, her hot little hands releasing his wrists to use his chest for support. The conniving woman casually tucked a stray hair behind her ear as she sat back on her knees, like she hadn’t just completely fucked with him.</p><p>“Oh look, you’re out of bed now, so I guess that means you want to join us after all,” she said archly, smugly grinning at Tora as Quincey nodded behind her with the same expression on his stupid face. <em>Cocky little shit</em><em>s</em><em>, the both of you. But especially you, Poppylan. Fuckin’ using your damn sexy curves to get my guard down, ya mean ass woman. </em></p><p>“Didn’t know ya had it in ya to fight so fuckin’ dirty,” Tora grumbled, pushing himself up with one hand. He ran a hand over his hair as he glared at the two conniving shits grinning at him. </p><p>“Tho' this was a confounded lie, my friend, all is fair in love and war,” Quincey quoted, dancing back a couple more steps as Tora narrowed his eyes threateningly at him. The blonde man’s eyes darted nervously around, seeking a way out of the well deserved beating he knew he was about to be served.</p><p>“Yeah, I got some love and war right here for ya, ya little shit,” Tora growled, shooting to his feet, though any forward progress was immediately halted as Poppy threw herself forward and latched onto his left calf, giggling the entire damn time. </p><p>Fuck, how the hell could he stay mad with the cute as shit hamster hanging on him and laughing like that? Tora huffed and crossed his arms, glaring down at Poppy and then over at Quincey.</p><p>“Ya fuckin’ planned this, didn’t ya?” he grumbled. Fuckin' hell, they’d played him like a goddamn violin.</p><p>“Well, <em> someone </em> had to help you get out and have a little fun, and that happens to be us this weekend,” Quincey said, still wisely staying out of reach. “You are <em> not </em>just going to stay in here when there’s adventure and fun to be had!”</p><p>“So you’re just going to have to deal with it, Mister Grumpy Pants,” Poppy said from her position down on the floor. She patted his leg. “Come on, Tora, try some bubble tea with us? Pretty please? I promise there’s other fun stuff to check out around here too,” she said, blinking up at him with those damn big eyes of hers. Damnit, like he could fuckin’ say no to her looking all cute like that.</p><p>“Jesus fuck, fine! <em> Fine, </em> I will try ya weird ass bubble tea shit, okay? Just stop fuckin’ throwing yerself all over me, woman,” he growled, trying to carefully extricate his leg from her grip. “It’s goddamn distracting as fuck,” he muttered under his breath as Poppy finally let his leg go. </p><p>“I’ll try ya bubble tea,” he said slowly, tugging his hoodie back into place, “soon as I remind Quince here what he gets for being a sneaky, dirty asshole.” Tora launched himself right as he said “ass” and was on the shrieking blonde man before he’d finished saying “hole.” </p><p>“Poppeeeee, save me!” Quincey sobbed as Tora immediately wrestled him down to the floor.</p><p>“Sorry, Quincey, you’re on your own for this one,” she called out, waving cheerily as she disappeared into her room. “Need to use the bathroom real quick, and I’ll be ready to go, okay?”</p><p>“Traitor! We’re supposed to be a united team, remember? Goddamnit, Tora, not the hair! You talk about fighting dirty, you jerk,” Quincey loudly whined as the larger man easily pinned him and put him into a tight headlock. A moment later, the blonde man glanced towards Poppy’s room as they both heard her bathroom door click shut. He softly whispered, “You’re welcome, you big dumb idiot. Like hell I’m gonna let you sit here by yourself today. You are hanging out with her every second you can this weekend, you hear me?”</p><p>Tora squeezed Quincey’s neck just a little tighter as he muttered back, “Just fuckin’ stop meddling, ya shit. I can handle things just fine without the goddamn ‘love expert’ crawling up my ass every five minutes, okay?” </p><p>“I’m just - ack, can’t really breathe there, Honey. I’m just trying to help move things in the right direction,” the blonde man wheezed as he vainly tried to wiggle free. Tora loosened his chokehold a couple moments later but stayed kneeling on the younger man. “Look, stop being such a self-isolating dumbass and just enjoy yourself a little, mmkay? I set this whole thing up for you, you know. I can go to a Ren Fest anytime I want, Honey, but I know it’s a hell of a lot harder for you to get away for any extended amount of R&amp;R. So don’t fucking waste this chance to actually relax and connect with her, ” Quincey murmured, jerking his chin towards Poppy’s room. </p><p>Tora heaved out a sigh. “Look, I appreciate ya trying to help, Quince, I really do. Hell, when was the last time I ever actually got three fuckin’ days off in a row?"<br/><br/>"Uh, pretty much never?" Quincey said with a sour look on his face. "Why do you think I had your birthday party so early? We both know dear old dad always just happens to have 'super important' clan bullshit for you to take care of anytime he knows you might possibly have the chance to relax or do anything fun." </p><p>"Ain't that the fuckin' truth," Tora grumbled with deep irritation, his jaw clenching tightly at recalling the absolutely pointless yet incredibly time consuming crock of shit he’d been forced to take care of this year over his birthday.</p><p>Quincey tried to flip them while the older man was momentarily distracted, but Tora almost immediately immobilized him again, tightening the hold he had around the sneaky shit's head as they scuffled around. Quincey huffed in annoyance at being outmatched yet again - Tora didn’t know why his younger brother even tried, he couldn't remember a single time when he hadn't come out the winner in one of their wrestling matches.</p><p>"So why don't you just talk to her, Honey? I'm sure you've yet to follow up on that 'I'll tell ya some other time' conversation you promised to have," Quincey grunted out as he tried to elbow Tora in the gut, which the stronger man easily grabbed and twisted, pulling a high pitched sound of protest out of the blonde man.</p><p>"Ya know damn well this isn’t like one of ya fuckin' books, Quinceton. It’s not as easy as ya think, especially with my god awful life," Tora snarled, pressing his elbow down hard in between Quincey's shoulder blades. "What am I gonna say? 'Hey, sweetheart, I'm a real catch, let me tell ya all the fucked up shit I do for a living and all the ways I know how to maim someone with just my bare hands. Oh, by the way, here, ya get a big ol' target square on ya back anytime ya spend time around me, doesn't that sound like fun? Great, now that ya know what a fuckin' piece of work I am, how about dinner?'” Tora snapped.</p><p>The anger drained out of him a moment later and he sighed, not even trying to hide his weary resignation as he slumped against Quincey's back, releasing the younger man's arm. “Not gonna unload all that on her if I don't have to," Tora muttered as his brother reached up and gripped his shoulder reassuringly. "Besides, Poppylan’s already got more than enough of her own shit to deal with right now too. And no, I’m not gonna tell ya what it is. If she wants ya to know, she’ll tell ya herself. But I want to make damn fuckin’ sure she knows I’m not gonna push or try to do anything unless she’s ready and gives me the say so."</p><p>Quincey inhaled like he was going to say something, and Tora jabbed him in the back with one finger before he could get a word out.</p><p>"And yes, I fuckin' <em>know</em> I need to tell her who the hell I am before she can actually make that call. So fuckin’ lay off, okay?" Tora went on, his usual irritation at Quincey's meddling back in full force. "I don’t want her to feel like this was all some weird set-up and not us just wanting to hang out with her, alright?”</p><p>Quincey nodded. “Bummer, guess I have to cancel that flash mob now,” he said mournfully. Tora pressed his weight warningly into the man’s back, not putting it past his younger brother to set up something like that. “Kidding! I’m kidding, geez! Lighten up a bit, booboo,” he gasped, futilely trying to push himself up off the floor. “I promise not to serenade you again or try to mess with you this weekend, alright? I mean, not anymore than I normally do. I gotta have a little fun too.”</p><p>“No singing. No fuckin’ flash mobs. And ya sure as hell aren’t doing any more stupid shit like the flowers and whatever the fuck that is,” Tora grunted, gesturing at the kissing couple on the TV screen.</p><p>“Scout’s honor, I’ll be good, I swear,” Quincey said.</p><p>“Ya were never a boy scout,” Tora muttered.</p><p>“Okay, fine, thug’s honor I will mostly leave you to your own devices when it comes to my plucky editor. Who, in case you didn’t notice, is also brilliant, sassy enough to stand up to your grumpy ass, beautiful, apparently actually likes being around you, and doesn’t she have just the most luscious botto--”</p><p>“Quinceton,” Tora said, cutting him off with a low warning. </p><p>“Okay, fine, fine, I’ll be good,” Quincey said. “So let me up now, pretty please?”</p><p>“No can do, I think my legs just stopped working all of a sudden,” Tora said with a smirk, sinking heavily against the blonde man’s back.</p><p>“Ack! Tora! Damnit, you’re heaveeee,” Quincey whined. “Why are you so meeeeean?”</p><p>“Gotta a reputation to maintain, ya know. Can’t slack off and go too easy on ya, just cuz a cute girl is around,” Tora grunted at him.</p><p>“I mean, I agree, she is definitely cute. I honestly couldn't have set you up with a better choice. And did I mention that absolute peach of an as--Ow! Owieee! Damnit, stoooop. Uncle! Uncle! Poppeeee, come save me from the mean, angry man!”</p>
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